Stream of Consciousness Never Looked So ADD

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Me right now... or like two hours ago. Whatever.

Me right now... or like two hours ago. Whatever.

In less than two weeks, I have another appointment with my rheumatologist… and I have yet to get my xrays done. I know I need to get them done, but I just can’t motivate myself to go. I think part of me just doesn’t want to know if there actually is joint damage, but I’m also pretty sure my copay for xrays is $75, and I totally don’t have that kind of money all at once. I’ve been on a super tight budget and am living extremely frugally, mostly because my paychecks aren’t all that great anyway, but also because I’m trying to save for an apartment and a new computer. I know I don’t really need these things, but I’m seriously ready for my own space.

I have no idea where I was going with this post. I think I was going to say something about being a boring blogger lately, and wanting to cut my hair, and how much it sucks when good friendships go south, but I’m living in an editing- and work-induced haze lately, so I’ll leave you with this: I know I said I would never come back to Facebook, but it has come to my attention that A) a lot of you want me back on there, and B) I might have shot myself in the foot since it’s a – damn I hate admitting this — great marketing tool. I’ve been thinking about going back. (I hate myself for even thinking it, trust me.) Would you throw rotten vegetables at me for going back?

PS: Speaking of social media, Instagram and Pinterest are my new crack. My Instagram username is “elizabethbarone,” and if you’re not already on Pinterest and want an invite, let me know and I’ll shoot one your way.

Review | The Walking Dead #93, by Robert Kirkman

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The Walking Dead #93Call me lazy, but I made a vlog. My fingers and shoulders are already annoyed with me from all of the typing I’ve been doing… but more on that later.

Disclaimer: I didn’t waste much time getting into the spoilers, so don’t watch this if you haven’t read #93 (or even #92, really). Also, I am now an iPhone nerd. This was the first video I ever made with the thing, so laugh if you want, but I’m pretty pleased with how good it looks.

I really only reviewed this for Jason. You are probably the only person who reads and watches my TWD reviews. Thank you.

PS: I take no responsibility for the absurd screenshots YouTube chooses to display. I always look like I’m trying to be goofy. #justnaturallygoofyiguess

PSS: I just remembered I have a Michonne action figure. She’ll have to make a cameo in my next TWD vlog.

PSSS: Psst. YouTube channel is here. More nerdiness coming soon.

When to Submit, When to Self-Publish

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I tend to write in between genres, which makes it really difficult to choose a market. Most markets have a very specific genre or kind of story they are looking for. I enjoy writing my weird stories, though, and don’t want to start writing just for markets… but I also want my stories to get published.

I have a love affair with spreadsheets. I’ve made bank account balancing sheets, editorial calendars, budgets, submission trackers, and more with my trusty spreadsheet program. So when I found myself struggling to decide which publishing route to take with my short stories, I opened up a new spreadsheet.

I have about three dozen short stories, all in various stages. I listed all of my completed stories in one column, regardless of which draft they’re on. In the second column, I gave each story a genre (and in some cases, a secondary genre).

In the third column, I added each story’s current status (first draft, second draft, submission, published, etc). “Submission” means it’s currently out on submission to a market, and “published” means it’s already published.

Finally, in the fourth column, I created a one-word publish plan for each story. I actually have four current publishing plans: Yahoo!, ebook, traditional, and collection. I write articles for Yahoo!, and published two free short stories there to help get me name out there. I’ve made goals to self-publish one short story a month and submit one short story a month. And, in the future, I plan to query a book of short stories.

Here is an example of my spreadsheet:

Title Genre Status Plan
“Anonymiss” Literary Published Collection
“Hell, Established 1958″ Horror Published Yahoo!
“How Lon Got Screwed by a Terrorist” Thriller Published Ebook
“Moon Prayer” Literary Published Ebook
“Outlaw Love Story” Thriller, Western Submission Traditional
“Sparky and Oswald” Humor, Historical Fiction Published Yahoo!

“Anonymiss” was previously published in a small literary magazine at my community college, and since it doesn’t really fit in a genre I can easily market myself or to a market for submission, I’ve decided to include it in my future collection of short stories.

I’d like to publish “Outlaw Love Story” traditionally, since I feel it’s my strongest story to date, and would like it to be my first market accepted story. (“Moon Prayer” and “Anonymiss” were winner and runner-up, respectively, of my college’s Fresh Ink publication.) “Outlaw Love Story” also fits a little neater into a genre than the other stories in my list (not pictured).

This obviously isn’t written in stone; I’ve changed my mind about a couple different stories, a couple times. It has, however, helped me get more organized and has given me a clearer way to determine how I should publish each of my stories.

How do you decide how to publish your stories?

10 Things that Freak Out Horror Writers

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I peeked in on Twitter in between editing and revising my brains out and saw this:

Okay, so now I know why evil bastards keep coming back from the dead in horror movies and books: it freaks out the writer.

Oh yes. Writing horror is so, so much fun. It’s like watching a scary movie that you sort of have control over… except not (because as we all know, there comes a point in every piece of written fiction when you feel like you have no control over your characters). It got me thinking: how many other things freak us out but keep us writing at the same time?

  1. Crazies who keep coming back from the dead
  2. Flesh-eating lunatics, of the human or zombie variety
  3. Writing a character’s way out of tight spaces
  4. Writing a character’s way out of a death match
  5. Hacking off characters’ limbs
  6. Gouging out characters’ eyes
  7. Running through pitch black woods
  8. Monsters hiding under the bed
  9. Serial killers who kill with their bare hands
  10. Deadlines (and speaking of which…)

What freaks you out when you write (or read) horror?