After countless needles being stuck in my arm for blood tests, being shoved into a tiny machine for an MRI, going to physical therapy with the weirdest trainer, having electrical shocks and needles to test my nerves and other random tests, Dr. Lichter told me everything is normal and I should go swimming and get a gym membership. Well, duh, of course working out and swimming is going to help me. Especially in the middle of the night, when I’m in so much pain I just lay there and cry.

Right.

Riii-ight.

This all started over a year ago, when I was at work and my left arm went numb from the elbow down. For no reason. I’ve been to three doctors about it, and apparently none of them have a clue. Two of them are supposed to be the top in their field. (The first is a pediatrician, whom is in the top of his field but that field would be irrelevant, so.) Two weeks after the numbness started, it went away and I had a normal left arm again. A few months later, it came back, with a vengeance. It fkjfhsdcking hurt. A year later, it still pulls the same shit, and now it’s in both arms.

But exercise is going to help. Yeah. Maybe if I was 300 pounds and did nothing but sit in front of the TV all day. No, I don’t spend all my time exercising but I’m not completely unfit, either. I don’t see how lifting weights and aggravating whatever is already wrong is going to help. Swimming, maybe, but I don’t see the point in paying for a gym membership just to go swimming.

fjhdjkdhgkjdh

So after wasting all this time and money, they still don’t know what’s wrong with me. All I can think of is, now I know how Kurt Cobain felt, with his chronic and unexplainable stomach pains. This is probably the biggest stress factor in my life, and can sometimes be really depressing because a) chronic pain is never fun and b) I don’t know what’s wrong and how to make it go away.

Mom said maybe it’ll just go away. I wish, but it’s been over a year and it’s hard to be optimistic at this point.