I’m back to square one. I’ve come full circle. Tonight I’ve realized that I need to change some of the things I’ve been doing. I just don’t know what, or how. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t want to make the wrong decision. I can’t think without it feeling like there’s a hole in my chest.

Girls’ night was canceled tonight. Sandy had to take Kay to the ER. I guess the kids were playing and Tamra accidentally poked her in the eye. Apparently it didn’t look so good. Poor Kay.

So instead I went out and ran errands with my mom and Lauren. We stopped at Blockbuster and I rented Knocked Up and The Other Boleyn Girl. Knocked Up was great. It made me realize I don’t want to have kids for another hundred years. My dad even watched it with us. We had KFC for dinner and it felt like we were a family. Tonight was really nice. Tomorrow we’re going to Lake Compounce. I’m going to have to wear contacts. Blegh. I guess you can’t wear glasses on a coaster.

I’m feeling really good about my decision to go to Southern in the spring. I’m not even worried about the financial aspect of it, because I’m positive I’ll still be able to get the FAFSA and go to school for free. Plus I’ll still get my mom’s health insurance, so if I go utterly crazy anytime soon I won’t have to pay too much for the psychiatric care.

I’m on the third Twilight Saga book, Eclipse. You know, the one I bought by mistake ’cause I thought it was the second one.