Monthly Archives: August 2008

Wet cell phones, crazy dreams, and ADHD

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Okay, so I know I promised to do an I am… post soon — and I do want to do one, specifically about how impulsive I am — but there are about a zillion things zipping through my head right now. So.

Breaking Dawn is freaking awesome so far. The more I read, the more Stephenie Meyer is becoming one of my favorite authors — possibly an all-time favorite. (I should probably read Host before I say that, but whatever.) Wherever she ends up on my list of favs, I hope she never stops writing. She truly is gifted. That being said, I really want to start concentrating on some writing. I have a zillion projects I want to start and a zillion projects I need to finish. I wish there was some way I could discipline myself a little more. It’s just hard to ignore the new ideas until I finish the old. (See? Toldja I was impulsive.) I’m hoping that taking that creative writing course this semester may help me balance a little better. Obviously I (probably) can’t use old work for the assignments, so I can (probably) humor my new ideas in class and work on finishing the older stuff in my free time. Hopefully. I really need to rethink my time management skills. Makes me wonder how teachers could have ever put that “uses time well” comment on any of my report cards.

Speaking of time management, I need to finish the websites I’ve been working on. I need to get my business site looking a little more professional, and lettersoflove.net needs to be finished like, yesterday, so that I can add it to lists. I’ll probably feel less guilty about pursuing side projects, and with my business’s website finished I can probably get some actual work. (My trip to Indianapolis is so not gonna pay for itself.)

Back to Breaking Dawn. I’ve been having really vivid dreams lately. I dreamed last night that I was Bella and Mike was Edward. Heh. I was even dressed in clothes I wouldn’t normally wear. It was cool being a vampire. The dream was just getting good and then I woke up — for the zillionth time. I slept really poorly last night. I’m not sure why. At about 4, 4:30 this morning the garbage truck came by. When the hell did those things get so loud? It sounded like the most annoying ringtone ever going off. I see no reason for them to be so loud, especially when they’re collecting garbage at the ass-crack of dawn. I would love to shoot the moron who designed the newer garbage trucks, for his total ignorance.

Where the hell was I going with this post? Yikes. I don’t know if it’s the lack of sleep, but I totally can’t function today.

Oh. Yeah. I accidentally dropped my phone into a cup of water last night. Heh. My eyes bugged out and I said, “oh, oh” over and over. My aunt Rikki ran over and dropped the phone into a brown paper bag, sent me upstairs to blowdry it out, and the phone works fine now. She’s a genius. I swear.

Sorry this post is so all over the damn place. When I composed today’s post in my head last night — hoping that it might help me fall back asleep — it sounded a lot more together than this. I promise something rational later!

Sandpaper kisses, papercut bliss

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I am such a blog whore. Heh. I’ve really gotta stop posting five hundred times a day.

Anyway, I heard Sandpaper Kisses by Martina Topley-Bird on Indigo Prophecy and I’m hooked. Listen to it and tell me what you think! Sandy gave me an mp3 player — which I forgot at her house. I’m going to have to download this off iTunes as soon as I remember to take it home.

I want you and I’m hating it

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I wasn’t entirely sure if I liked Breaking Dawn at first, but I’m really into it. I won’t give anything away but if you’ve been afraid to read the last one, don’t be. Dive in. It’s great. (I’ll give a better review when I’m finished with it.)

Things are looking up on several sides. For one, my aunt and mentor called me tonight with a job. I love working for my aunt. She seems to think that she learns a lot from me, but let me tell you — I’ve learned a lot from her. Anyway, she has a client who needs a new site built, but in the meantime the client needs the old site updated. While my aunt builds her new site, I’m going to update the old one. It will just be simple data entry, with a little hard coding — a lot of which I do at my day job — but I’m not complaining. I could really use the extra money. Mike and I really want to shoot for the October 12th game in Indianapolis.

I also dyed Lauren’s hair tonight — a nice, dark chocolate brown. Then I blow dried it for her and marveled at the wonders of DNA. I mean, she got Mom’s pin-straight, easy to manage hair. I got Dad’s thick, curly, not so easy to manage hair. I’m hoping that if I ever have kids, Mom’s hair DNA will skip a generation and hit them. That would be awesome, but I don’t think that’s possible. In any case, hopefully they’ll get their father’s hair. I’ll have to make sure I marry a guy with easier hair than mine. Mike qualifies, so far. Heh.

I feel like an asshole for failing quitting smoking, but I guess I really just wasn’t ready. They say that the number one factor in success is that you have to be ready. I guess I got caught up in a couple of conversations I’d had — with Sandy and Tracy, Mike’s mom — and then a few blog entries I’d read. I tried though, and that’s all that matters. Anyway, I’m going to have to cut back on coffee this week, because now that I bought another pack of cigarettes I don’t have enough money for coffee every morning. I am such a loser. I’m actually punishing myself for not quitting smoking. I do weird stuff like that all the time. I think it really might be OCD.

I still plan on using the two composition notebooks I bought. I’ll probably bring them to work with me once I finish Breaking Dawn. I want to get started on my short stories series about Tent City before I start my creative writing class. Either way, I’ll be bringing them with me to class.

Anyway, Lauren is playing Indigo Prophecy — a game Mike gave her — and I’m really getting into it. I want to thank everyone for their support this weekend, especially Sarah! I promise I’ll get back to the “I am..” and “Ten Things I Love About..” blogs this week.

They say I’m jaded, ’cause they know it’s true

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I lasted for over twenty-four hours, so that counts for something. Right? Heh.

The way I felt was utter hell. I gave in about a half hour ago and walked to the gas station down the street. I must have looked insane, to my gas station guy and the other customer in the store.

“Hi, how are you?” My gas station guy asked.

“Good, you?” I think I sounded way too happy.

“Good, thanks.”

“Can I get a pack of Marlboro Virginia Blends?” He placed the pack on the counter. “I need a lighter, too.”

“Small one?”

“Sure.” Whatever. Give it to me.

It seemed like an eternity for him to count my change. I almost told him to keep it. I thanked him and practically ran out of the store, then lit up right outside. I’m not sure you’re supposed to light up at a gas station, but at the time getting blown up seemed a small price to pay.

I walked home, smoking and grinning. A small part of me hated myself, but by the time I got home and finished my cigarette I was feeling great. I lay down on my bed, heart thudding with excitement at the sudden nicotine.

“I’ll quit again when I’m pregnant,” I told Sandy. (She gave in before I did today.)

Mike, luckily, did not make fun of me. Though he wishes he had taken the bet. He would have won.

I think I hate myself right now

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I feel twitchy and anxious inside, like every fiber of my being is squirming. Heh. I also feel too tired to do much of anything. I’ve been dragging myself through Breaking Dawn — which is really good, by the way — but I’m exhausted.

Sandy quit this morning and she feels like crap, too. At least I know I’m not alone.

All I can think of is, how in the world am I going to get through work tomorrow?