I just found out that my friend Liane from high school passed away this weekend. I was uploading the photos for the week at work and saw her picture. I didn’t want to believe it was her, so I hunted for the article. I didn’t really have to do much hunting; it was on the front page of Rep-Am.com. I still didn’t want to believe it was her, but then Sandy called and confirmed. I’m having a hard time not crying here at work. This really sucks. The last time I saw Liane, when I was working at Toys R Us, she was buying stuff for her baby. She was really happy and really in love with her daughter. I remember telling someone — probably Mike — that I was really happy that she was happy. She looked good, too.

I am trying to track down information for arrangements. I guess they are being held this week at St. Michael’s Church. The people there are going to email me when they know the details. I am going to try like hell to go; Sandy and I are friends with all of Liane’s friends (we’re mutual friends with Everett and Lena, Sandy is friends with Liane’s boyfriend Jeremy, and I’m friends with mutual old boyfriend slash good friend Sean).

I can’t wrap my head around this. It seems like just yesterday we were in high school together, hanging out in the stadium smoking cigarettes — among other things, heh — waiting for the first bell to ring. It feels like just yesterday I saw her, all grown up and happy to be a mom. We weren’t real close, but I still have a lot of good memories with her. Like my sophomore year. She and Lena publicly announced that they were dating, and started a whole lesbian revolution in our high school. Because of them, every girl claimed to be either a lesbian or bisexual. Thanks to them, I was able to figure out my own sexuality. I also have goofy memories of hanging out in the parking lot before school with her, mainly smoking and of course Kurt Cobain’s anniversary (Lena loves Kurt Cobain). She was a great person and we’re all going to miss her.

I think I’m sort of in denial, though. I mean, your friends aren’t supposed to die. Not this young, anyway. She was just getting her life started and back on track. I don’t even know what to say anymore. I’m just so sad.