Daily Archives: September 29, 2008

I need to get back to my dream

Posted on by
2

I should be doing homework right now, but since I’ve gotten home from hanging out with Mike the most I’ve accomplished is blogging. Woo. Still, I was reading Lizzy‘s Tug-of-War post and was once again reminded of what I keep putting off.

My writing has taken a backseat to my web design.

I’ve been hiding from the fact, but it’s true. I barely find time to write. (No, blogging doesn’t count for me. Sorry.) The only real writing I’ve done as of late is poetry, and I don’t even really like poetry. I’m only writing it because Professor Harding swears that by forcing us to write poetry, we will become better writers. (Unfortunately, I’m starting to see that he’s right.)

I have several unfinished short stories and novels. I keep telling myself that I will finish them, but they just sit there. I have one finished novel that has been waiting since 2005 to be edited and second-drafted.

It’s time to face my music: My dream has been outshined my by geekiness. Don’t get me wrong. I love web design. I love the challenge. I love the aesthetic aspect of it, and how I feel so very in control. (Most of the time, as long as Internet Exploder behaves.) However, I love writing. For some reason, I can’t figure out how to balance the two. I can’t figure out how to finish the things I start. I start something and get all fired up about it, and then two weeks or two months or whatever later I forget about it. I lose my fire. I go back to web design. I get another idea for something, and the cycle repeats.

Could it be because web design is safe? Have I fallen into a safety net? I think, in some ways, this is worse than selling out and writing Harlequin novels.

I don’t know what to do. NaNoWriMo is the only thing that keeps me writing, but even once November is over I forget my novels. I haven’t touched The Cure Program — my latest novel — in months, even though I’ve been struck with idea after idea. Writers’ block is NOT the problem, so it must be a safety thing.

What do I do? How do I break this cycle? I need to figure it out, or something worse than my novels being unfinished is going to happen: My dream is going to die.

Something has to give. Now that school has started again, I’m even busier than before. I’m also trying desperately to get time in to run Letters of Love and finish the website. I also want to redesign my freelance website, so that I can maybe get some jobs and pull some extra cash in. I also work part-time, doing — you guessed it — my local newspaper’s WEBSITE.

I love it, but I can’t get away from it. It’s suffocating my love. I don’t have any time to write, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to quit my job or leave my personal projects unfinished, but my writing is suffering at the same time. If I shut myself in my house and did nothing but all of these things, my social life would suffer. (I already hear enough from my friends and boyfriend, about how they don’t see me much.) I know that instead of blogging right now, I could be writing, but I also should be doing homework!

That being said, it’s eleven o’clock and I am just killing myself. I am going to take my Creative Writing text and go have a cigarette. If anything, I’ll at least write some damn poetry tonight. :(

Saw or Treat?

Posted on by
9

I just saw part of the trailer — I didn’t want to spoil any more of it! — for Saw V and I am so excited. In the trailer, a murderer who went to prison for only five years because of some loophole was strapped to a table… with a pendulum over him. Is anyone else think of Poe’s “The Pit and the Pendulum”? Just the thought of a pendulum swinging over this guy gives me a thrill.

I am also excited about Trick ‘r Treat.

Both movies come out in October. I love this time of year.

PS: I feel the need to read some Poe right now.

Welcome to America; now speak English!

Posted on by
Reply

It seems like, no matter what restaurant I go to these days, none of the servers speak English — especially in fast food restaurants.

This afternoon Mike picked me up from school — I can’t drive my car, but that’s another whole story — and we went on a search so that he could buy me something for my birthday (another long story). We stopped at the mall and got Chinese at the J&J BBQ place. We decided to go half on it, and he started to tell the girl behind the counter what we wanted. As he told her half noodles, half rice and she still gave him all noodles, another girl asked me what I wanted. I told her we were together. Mike was still trying to tell the first girl what we wanted, and the second girl asked me again what I wanted. Once again I told her we were together.

When we got to the end of the buffet line and she asked if we wanted anything to drink, I told her I wanted a Snapple Iced Tea. She asked me if I wanted the iced tea flavor.

Now, I am not prejudiced or racist in any way. (And you’d better believe that any racist comments on this post will be deleted, and you will be IP-banned.) I’m all for people immigrating to the United States. All of my great-great-grandparents were immigrants. I am fourth-generation American on most sides of my family. Each and every one of them either learned English before coming here, or learned afterward. They were all very, very proud to learn English. It’s really hard for me to understand why people coming here now can’t be bothered — especially when they are working in a public industry such as a restaurant — to learn some damn English.

I know that English isn’t the easiest language to learn, but you should at least make an effort. If I were to visit or move to another country, I would at least try to learn enough so that I could get by. I’m sure most of these people are fresh out of their home countries, and I can only imagine how strange it must be. It would be a lot less strange, I think, if you could understand what people were saying to you!