I know why Tyla loves my balls

You’ve gotta love the people who have never experienced life. You know, the ones who are squeamish and don’t want to hear the “bad” stuff. Like the lady at Barnes and Noble.

Last week Nikki and I went to Barnes and Noble, because we are broke and proud. We like the free water, the scent of Starbucks coffee abrewin’ and new books waiting to be read, and we like the plentiful tables that allow us to sit and talk for hours without being asked to leave.

This was the second time we’d done this. We sat and talked about everything from college to grandparents, from boyfriends and to jobs, from the economy to problems and everything in between. The conversation was flowing nicely. We weren’t being loud or obnoxious.

I can’t remember exactly what we were talking about (it may have been something along the lines of elderly bed-wetting), when I heard an irritated voice not two feet from my ear.

“Oh, let’s talk about old people shitting the bed and–”

I didn’t hear what else she said. I turned my head and looked straight at the woman sitting right behind me, who was suddenly preoccupied with the book in front of her. “It’s life, lady. Pick another table if you don’t want to hear about it.”

“Mom,” her teenage daughter, so obviously the victim here, said. She didn’t look up from her own book.

The woman didn’t say anything else. I turned back to Nikki, satisfied.

“Oh! I have to tell you the cat story!” Nikki told me about a cat she’d found in a car. “Was she talking about us?” She whispered.

I nodded. “Like I said,” I rose my voice a little higher, “there are plenty of other tables if she doesn’t want to hear it.”

I like this new, brazen version of me.

13 thoughts on “I know why Tyla loves my balls

  1. :) That was pretty rad of you. If I had known what she was saying at the time, I would have joined you in the burn you gave her. But then again, I am pretty slow sometimes. Haha.
    We need to do that again soon.

  2. Made up what? That word? No way. That’s what “bravo” is short for crazy. And you call yourself a writer. Ha! (=- But no really, it’s not a TED creation.

  3. @Nikki: Yes, as soon as the semester is over. I’m rushing to get things done in time. Forgive me?

    @Ted: I make up words all the time! :P I made up “slushed” last night and told Word to go screw when it gave me the red line. Now that I think about it, though, “sloshed” would go better with what I was trying to say. Hmn…

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