I just realized something incredibly hypocritical. I was getting things ready to take a shower, since I’ve been working all day and never got to it, and I was thinking about how much I work. I realized that I’m pretty depressed, because all I do is work. I enjoy it, I really do, but it’s become such an addiction that I don’t really ever make time for anything else.
I thought, I really love to work, but I need a vacation and I don’t know how to stop. And it’s true. Every time I think about taking a vacation, I think, I’ll do it as soon as I get this, that, and the other project finished. I never take the time to take a timeout. I always find another excuse to push that break back even further.
And now, on a Saturday night, when most other people my age are out drinking and having a good time, I’m completely exhausted. Part of this is because of my chronic pain. I know that. But part of it is also because I spent every minute since about ten this morning working. And I didn’t have to.
Working gave me something to work toward, a goal to hang onto when I got depressed. Now I’m so addicted that it’s kind of starting to make me more depressed. You could say, “well then just stop,” but it isn’t that easy. I don’t know what to do.
Virtual hugs and stuff like that would be awesome right now. 
*hugs*
(((hugs)))
Oh, and a virtual martini/cosmopolitan/insert drink of choice here.
Using work to escape reality sucks. Period. Been there, done that – you’re not going to be able to stop suddenly, you’re going to have to do the whole weaning yourself crap. Try making a list (sounds dumb, I know) of things you could do the next time you get the urge to work when you really don’t NEED to. Next time, force yourself to do something on that list (even if it’s just for 20 minutes) before starting to work. Eventually you’ll be able to procrastinate so well you’ll go days without working. Of course… that could be a bad thing.
I know what you mean. I work constantly, and I have to force myself to take little breaks so that I don’t burn myself out. You have to treat it like a project itself.
*squeeze*
Yeah, I get the same way. I’m about to set up my electronics shop here in Iraq and initially it’s going to be a lot of setting up files and customer accounts and administrative things. The walk to my shop from where I live is a ways. Most night I’ll probably work into the night and just sleep there. But yeah, to get things just so as soon as possible I’m going to be putting in some crazy hours. But I’m just stubborn that way too, ya know?
*squeeze*
Thank you!
I’d chug that in a second if I didn’t think it would just knock me out!
lmao I used to be horrible with procrastination, and still have my moments. I like that list idea, though. I’m definitely going to try it!
Making myself take a break is like dragging a little kid away from Barney or Sesame Street, lmao. Sometimes I have to force myself to get up to grab something to drink or eat, or even use the bathroom!
We need help!