This afternoon, I get my blood test results. I have to admit, my hopes are really high. I’ve also got this nagging fear that my rheumatologist is going to look at me and say, “Everything’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with you.” I have this superstition that my blood tests are only going to show something if I’m in pain during the blood work. (When my double stranded DNA came back positive, my right leg hurt like a bitch. I was convinced that whatever is wrong with me will only show up when I have symptoms. My mom said that isn’t possible, but I’m still kind of superstitious.)
I just want answers. I want the rheumatologist to say, “You have blahblahblah. Here’s what we’re going to do to help you.”
I can’t really think of anything else. I won’t be able to relax until this afternoon. And even then, will I just end up frustrated and disappointed?
Today is going to be a very, very long day.
Here’s hoping that they have the answers that you need!
Oooooh, I hope you have your answers now! If you want to talk about any of it, I’m around.
It makes complete sense that this is so important to you. Once you have answers, you stop living in limbo. You will know what it is, and start moving on with your life.
Thanks. Unfortunately, not yet, but hopefully soon.
Exactly. I can’t seem to move on with this; every time I take a step forward, I take two or three steps back. But I guess we’ll see what my new blood work says next month. Argh.
Pingback: Perpetual Smile » Blog Archive » Whatever the fuck is wrong with me hurts. Cymbalta can help.