My grandfather did his last chemo treatment for the first round, and then came home, on December 2nd.

Since coming home, he’s had chills, his voice has been hoarse (which Mom says is actually the lung cancer, not the chemo), and he’s had pretty much nonstop diarrhea.

It’s only going to get worse; the doctors have advised that this kind of chemo, which is really aggressive, could shut down his kidneys.

Chemo. Medicine.

When I was a little kid, I had a cough one time that was really bad. I couldn’t stop coughing. Mom was really worried and called Noni and Popi. Popi ran to the store to get me some cough medicine and cough drops. The medicine made me stop coughing. It made me feel better.

Chemo does not make you feel better. The side affects are almost worse than the symptoms you had in the first place.

The chemo is just supposed to make him more comfortable, to buy him more time. I hate stringing those words together, but there they are. Without the chemo, the doctors said he would only have weeks.

Watching my strong, sure Popi get sicker and sicker is killing me.