Facebook Friend Request: Omg, hi!! We went to the same high school, never spoke, but I’m gonna add you anyway!!
Me: How do I know this person? *looks* Oh. We went to the same high school. I don’t remember them… but evidently I must know them, because we went to the same high school and they’ve requested me over and over throughout the last week. *adds*
New Facebook Friend: Omg! I’m gonna start poking you and hitting you with pillows! Because it’s FUN!!1L And then I’m gonna invite you to Farmville and other such stupid Facebook apps because omg they are the shit!!
Me: *ignore* *remove* *ignore* Why did I add you? *ignore* *ignore* But it’s mean to delete you. *remove* *ignore* Fuck, ANOTHER damn pillow fight? The hell, I thought you were a dude! Only thirteen-year-old girls have pillow fights! *remove*
Annoying Facebook Friend: So, there’s this new Facebook app that asks you dirty questions about your Facebook friends, posts said dirty question for all the world to see right to your profile WITHOUT your permission, and requires you to add it to see my answer to the dirty question… And of course I’m gonna do it, because I enjoy annoying the fuck out of you and making you look bad in front of family and co-workers. Isn’t this fun?
Me: *puffs up to ten times original size, Jigglypuff style* WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?? *remove* *remove* I think I might stab you!!!
Annoying Facebook Friend: I didn’t get why you deleted all of my pillow fight posts and dirty question posts, so I’m gonna hit you with a pillow again. And again.
Me: Okay. I can either delete him from my friends, or kill him. But I don’t know where he lives, considering we never spoke — even though we went to the same high school. I still sorta want him dead though. But that isn’t legal, unless things have changed… *consults Google* Nope, still illegal to kill people. And I’m a bad liar, so I’d totally get caught if I tried it anyway. *goes to friend list* DELETE, MOTHAFUCKER!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Annoying ex-Facebook Friend: Omg, why did she delete me? We went to the same high school! *friend requests*
Me: *eye twitch*
Hahahaha!
I ignore requests like that ALL OF THE TIME. If I didn’t like or know you in High School, it’s not happening now. Shooot, I am super picky about who I let in, even though my count of 356 friends would not suggest so.
Oh fuck… this is why I hate facebook now… but I am such a bad person I can’t remember birthdays. However, this post is Taken Tuesday worthy. Unfortunately, I already offered this week up. If they don’t respond can I take yours… if not, then I will take it next week. Oh that sounds dirty. Seriously though (yeah right), I loved this one.
*consults Google* Nope, still illegal to kill people.
Fucking great.
I love those. I’m constantly getting the people that are like..”HOMG HI! I’m a friend of a friend of a friend that you used to know! let’s be friends” oh the ” Hey you play mafia wars? lets be friends so I can add you to my mafia”
I once had to delete a girl five different times before she finally got the hint.
It’s like..really now? REALLY?! Stop being a friend whore and get a life.
Wow, this is why I avoid Facebook. I don’t want to be found.
Now to go catch up on your previous blog posts and revel in the funny.
Ha I loved this. You are very funny. I have a “Mafia wars friend” also I have no interest in it and I guess he figured it out. He has stopped bothering me now. Watch now that I said it he will bombard me tonight… I just went back and read the last post. I am a great listener if you need therapy during the day. I work out of my home office so I am here quite a bit. Most of the time dressed… If youi need a crazy person to chat with just let me know. See ya…
IT IS CHRIS. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT HE DOES IT TO ME TOOOOO. I want to stabby stab! Wait till he somehow gets your cell number. It will be text messages allll night and random phone calls and trying to stop by your house with beer! Until you have your boyfriend (or in my case cousin) call him and tell him to GTFO AND STOP STALKING HER.
>.<
I laughed so hard reading this, especially since you just KNEW who it was. That is creepy shit, though. He scares me a little now.
LMFAO
I think I peed myself a bit! HILARIOUS!
I’ve been there too haha
Thanks! I was half afraid that this guy would friend request me again, too, just ’cause that’s how it works!
He added every girl on my friends list. I noticed that a coworker from Lake Compounce who now lives in Boston and is a lesbian added him today. How could he possibly know her? Oh yeah, MY FRIENDS LIST, even though I deleted him. Ughh. Creepster.
Oh my, how creepy! You can block him, you know.
Awesome! Glad you liked it.
Can’t say I blame you. You should totally go read my post, Why birds shouldn’t work in customer service, if you liked this one. (:
Friend whore! I like that. It’s so true, though. I don’t mind making new friends online — I mean, hello, that’s why I blog — but TALK to me instead of spamming me with a bunch of annoying garbage Facebook apps!
You can totally have this for a future Taken Tuesday, if you’d like. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you.
I’m the same way. If I don’t know you, I won’t add you, unless we strike up a conversation. And if I didn’t like you in high school? Not adding you, because you were probably a douche to me at some point then and I don’t expect douches to grow up.