I think I’m in love with Chelsea Handler.

My Horizontal Life, by Chelsea Handler

The day after my grandfather passed away, and after a week of sitting around the house waiting for who knows what, I decided that A, I needed to get the hell out of the house, and B, I needed some medicine. Books are, of course, my favorite medicine, so I went straight to my Barnes and Noble.

My Horizontal Life was waiting for me in the New in Paperback section.

The great thing about sleeping with a midget is that first you get to have sex with them and then you can use them as a pillow. Those little midgets have it so easy. Sometimes when I see one, I want to chase it. I don’t want to scare them, but I want to hold them and cuddle them. Mostly I would like one for the carpool lane.

With her love for vodka, hilarious one-night stands, and laugh out loud sense of humor, Chelsea made me laugh in the mere hours it took me to read this book; I couldn’t put it down. She calls her L.A. roommate Dumb Dumb and terrorizes her Jewish parents with her black lovers and gay friend. I laughed so hard while reading this, my cousin said, “Oh, I’m going to have to read that!”

Books and laughter are some of the best medicine, and while it didn’t completely take my pain away, My Horizontal Life made a few hours of this nightmare just a little more bearable. It also reminded me that maybe a little vodka might help, too.

Friday, I’m getting her Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea.