Elizabeth Barone


Depression lies. It’s a really good liar, too. The hardest part of living with depression is siphoning the distortions from reality.

I’ve been in a weird place. I started to feel better this weekend, then slipped right back down. My head feels heavy again. It’s hard to focus. Thoughts can’t entirely be trusted. I’m not even sure I should be taking my medication; I feel like a lot of this has something to do with Wellbutrin. The same thing happened to me on Viibryd.

The medication seemed to be working. I felt great; I could focus and write again. Then, all of a sudden, I could barely function. Thoughts that were not mine slipped into my head at random.

I’m still not quite ready to share my Viibryd experience. I’m sure it helps some people. It almost killed me.

Wellbutrin seems to be affecting me the same way.

Depression is a bitch, to say the least.

Between my mental and physical health, I’ve been slogging through edits for Savannah’s Song. Because of Sulfazine, my joint pain has improved quite a bit. But one lymph node in my neck has been swollen and sore for a week now, and I’m exhausted. I don’t know if it’s Sulfazine side effects or something else brewing.

I need to make a barrage of appointments with my doctors, but to be honest, it’s all a little overwhelming.

So I’m taking it all a little at a time, because sometimes that’s all you can do.


via Unsplash

via Unsplash

I love this time of year. I don’t know if it’s from conditioning after twenty-something years of being a student, but it always feels ripe with possibility. I’m usually at my most creative during autumn.

After two weeks of depression and being unable to write, it’s like the spell has lifted. I’m seeing more clearly now, feeling more like myself. Even better, I’ve been able to remedy a novel that’s been haunting me for years.

I’m not sure if this means that, come tomorrow, I’ll be able to write. I did spend the entire weekend working on Secondhand Gigi (what some of you might remember as Secondhand Mom). (I also did a signing! Check out the recap here.) This is the third? fourth? reincarnation of this novel. I’ve rewritten it so many times, I’ve lost track. But I think I’ve got it this time.

I re-outlined the entire book by hand—something I haven’t done in years. Putting pen to paper got things flowing again in a way that sitting at the computer just couldn’t.

The depression is still there. I’m hoping that adjusting my meds will put things back in balance for me. For now, I am content in having made even a little progress.

This week I’m wrapping up edits for Savannah’s Song. After that? Anything is possible.

PS: Did you know you can order signed paperbacks through my website? Click here to order now.

Recap: Signing at Lake Winnemaug Social Club!

Photo by Lauren Barone

Photo by Lauren Barone

This place is dreamy.

If you know me, you know that I am absolutely a water baby. The soft lap onto the shore soothes me like nothing else. I joke all the time that I should be a beach bum. Nowhere else truly feels so much like home.

So when I found out that we were going to be on the lake all day, I almost jumped for joy. I say “almost” because it’s kinda hard to jump with a bad hip. 😉 The day was gorgeous. The wind coming off the lake was a little brutal. I initially set up my banner but it nearly blew away.

Photo by Sandra Kostenko

Photo by Sandra Kostenko

My dear friend Sandy was my lovely assistant today. I can’t thank her enough for it. Not only did she help me set up, but she also fed me. My sister Lauren stopped by in solidarity. Then my sister-in-law Britt came down with our niece—and another PSL for me.

Only one of them is related to me by blood, but I am so grateful these three are my family.

Table setup

Table setup

I've got swag

I’ve got swag

This was the club’s first ever craft fair. Everyone was absolutely lovely. I chatted with a few of the other vendors and some shoppers. Not only did it feel amazing to set up shop, but it felt great to get out into the fresh air! After being sick all week and inside writing all summer, it was very refreshing.

I came home to all of the kitty love, too.

Squirt marking "my" stuff as hers

Squirt marking “my” stuff as hers

She greeted me at the door and snuggled with me for a bit before loping off to do whatever it is cats do. Sleep? Plot my death? Both? She’ll never tell.

All in all, it was a great day. I definitely plan on doing it again next year!

PS: Enter to win an autographed swag pack!

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