I’m a digital hoarder.

I’d really like to simplify my digital life. I’ve been wanting to for a while, but while I knew it was the right decision, I still had a really hard time letting go. I try hard to be honest here and to be honest with myself, so here’s the truth: I have many websites and different social accounts. I almost always create them on a whim, and then I feel guilty for ignoring them, so I feel obligated to keep them, but only end up using them occasionally. A perfect example is Letters of Love. Don’t get me wrong. I’m very, very proud of that site. The thing is, I created it during a time when I really needed it, and I don’t need it anymore. Because I don’t need it anymore, I don’t have the passion I once had to keep it going. At the same time, though, I can’t bear to let someone else take it over because it’s mine. It’s my baby. Call me possessive, I don’t care. I just can’t let go, and I can’t bear to leave it sitting there collecting digital dust.

I also started Freaking Bookworm, and then fell way off the book review bandwagon. The thing is, I feel too obligated; I feel like I have to review every single book and comic that I read, so then I feel overwhelmed and just don’t review or write anything there. Plus, once I found Goodreads I started to wonder what the hell was the point in doing both. I argue with myself in my head all the time: “Goodreads is just a social network. One day it could disappear. Freaking Bookworm is my site and won’t disappear unless I want it to.” “Yes, but why update both? It’s a pain in the ass to review the same book twice, and repetitive as hell. How can I possibly write two different reviews about the same book without repeating myself?!”

I have a different problem with this blog. I enjoy writing here. I don’t ever feel obligated. However, instead of writing stories like I should be doing, I end up writing posts here. Instead of doing the dishes or cleaning or something else productive, I write draft upon draft that I will probably never actually publish. I regularly have to clean out my drafts because they’re either no longer relevant, half finished, or just too much information to post publicly. I know that I need to let go of this blog and focus more on my fiction writing, but dammit, it’s hard. It’s hard because it’s a security blanket, but it’s also hard because I know there are a lot of you who like this little space and I hate to let you down.

Still, I need to simplify. I don’t want my digital life to resemble the homes we see on Hoarders. I’m sick of leaving half finished projects behind me. I’m disgusted with myself for wasting so much time online when I should really be honing my writing skills; I say all the time that I want to be a writer, but instead of using that time to actually write and improve, I sit online. (I should say, though, that this morning I wrote a story before doing anything else, other than checking my bank account’s balance and a few other quick, important things. I’m damn proud of myself.)

I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet. I mean, I have a pretty good idea, but I’m still thinking about it. Mostly, I’m thinking about the execution. Basically, I want to embark on an adventure next year. (Because holy shit, in a couple of months it will be next year.) I’ve seen another writer, Deanna Knippling, do it and she’s learning a lot and getting a lot out of it. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, pretty much since she first started posting about her experiences with independent epublishing. My first thought was, Damn this is cool. I wish I could do it. A few weeks ago I thought, Maybe I could actually do it. Since last night I’ve been thinking, I want to try it.

Since my writers’ group started in September, I’ve been trying — well, okay, I haven’t been trying too hard because I’ve been blogging here instead — to write one short story a week, that way I’d have something new every week for my writers’ group. So far, I’ve written two, and that’s counting today’s story. I’ve had a lot of writers’ block, but it’s getting better finally. I’m also gearing up to do NaNoWriMo this year in November. Coincidentally, elizawhat.com is up for renewal in November. Now, granted, I’m pretty good about sticking to the writing during NaNoWriMo. The rest of the year, you can forget it. I don’t want to be like that anymore. I want to be disciplined, dammit. I’ll be completely honest with you: I’m thinking about not renewing this blog. I’m also thinking about cutting down on all of my online accounts, quite severely. At the top of the list are Tumblr and Formspring. I’m keeping my @elizabethbarone Twitter, but the other ones are probably going, too. I’m also going to make myself permanently delete my Facebook.

I need to do this. It’s hard to think about it, and it’s going to be hard to do it, but I need to. I’ve known this for a long time.

I just hope you won’t be too mad at me, or too disappointed. I’d really like to give you a new short story every month. I have a ton that need to be edited so that they won’t suck when you read them, but I’d also like to write a new one every week, for real.

Now, I’m still thinking about all of this, but I’ve slept on it and still feel the same. Usually, when I need to make a decision, I sleep on it because I rarely feel the same the next day. As hard a time I have making decisions, I also tend to go completely the other way at times and make rash decisions. Today I still feel like this needs to be done.

However, if I do delete this blog, there will be a new one. You’ll just have to wait and see it. It’s going to be awesome. And there will definitely still be Liz’s Anatomy. The rest I’m not so sure about.

Apparently, my application hadn’t “moved forward.” She put me on hold while I pondered what that meant, then came back relatively quickly — so at least I didn’t have to wait forever — and told me that when I’d moved my application from the last time I’d applied, it didn’t move forward in the system because I’d last applied in 2009 and they can only go back a year.

I get that it’s my fault, but when the hell were they going to tell me? They could have at least sent me a letter or an email saying, “Hey, dumbass, you’ve got to reapply, because it’s been too long since you last applied.” I’ve basically been wasting my time since June.

I also asked her if it would be too late if I applied now, and she gave me a really vague answer which translated to, “Yes, it is too late, but we can’t tell you that straight up because we don’t want to discourage anyone.”

I don’t really have a problem reapplying, but let’s face it: there are two weeks before the semester starts, so am I really going to get in? And, if I did, would there be any openings left for the class I need to take? As it is, you’re supposed to allow four to six weeks for a decision. Since I’m also a transfer student, I’m pretty sure I’d also have to wait for my transcripts to be sent in again and who knows how long that would take.

Plus, I have to pay the $50 application fee again, and of course I don’t really have it. I mean, I do have fifty bucks I could scrape up, but then I won’t have gas to get back and forth from work, or money to buy anything to take with me for lunch at work. Since I have no idea when I’ll be getting my first paycheck, I’m kind of reluctant to spend any money right now.

So, I’m going to think about it a little more. I can always apply for the Spring 2011 semester, instead. I’m just impatient and really want to get started. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if I had to wait, because then I could whittle my student loan down a little more, save for the first class I have to take, and get a few other things in order, but I really wanted to start in two weeks, dammit.

A representation of The Plan; image shown not necessarily accurate.

Many a text have been written about The Plan, but no two are ever the same.  The Plan doesn’t always work correctly, either. It is simultaneously an extinct and thriving creature.

This month, The Plan hopefully has a better survival rate here on planet e•liz•a•what than in previous months. I hate that I’m already into August and haven’t even heard from the university so that I can register already, but hopefully that will be changing soon. After all, this morning I was still unemployed and I now have one definite position of employment, and another quite likely opportunity to do some work on a website for a local shop that I adore. Because life is so unpredictable, The Plan has to be quite adjustable. It kinda teaches you to think on your feet.

My plan for this month is simple: Register for one class at the university and arrange a payment plan so that I don’t have to take out (another) loan. I’m hoping to get at least a teensy piece of the Pell Grant — which for all of my out-of-country readers is money for college education that you don’t have to pay back, but is on a first come, first served basis — but since I applied so late, I might be shit out of luck. I’d rather take two classes, but I’m trying to keep this as low-cost as possible while I finish paying off my student loan. I know I could take out another loan, but I’d rather not rack up a lot of debt. My country might be good at spending money it doesn’t have, but I sure as hell am not looking to go down that same path!

That is my only plan. I know I said I wanted to treat myself to a few things once I got this job — and I got it; I start this week! — but I’m going to be super careful with all of my income so that I can pay for this class, continue making payments on my student loan, pay my car insurance each month, and start putting aside money in my savings account again. I may treat myself to one Sims expansion pack, probably the Fun with Pets Collection. I am, however, definitely buying myself a happy pound of Caffé Verona, because it’s been a long time since I had my favorite coffee. All of that other stuff can wait, but in the meantime it’s nice to dream.

Most of the money I’ll be saving is going toward Mike’s and my future apartment, but I also have a funny feeling that I’d better start saving up for a new laptop. Mine is about five years old, and it’s been acting kind of funny lately. Apparently, five is old for a laptop — or so everyone keeps telling me — so I’d rather have the extra money set aside… just in case. I was going to upgrade this one’s processor, but I’m not sure whether it’d be worth it. Computer experts: What do you think?

So… zat is ze plan for zis month! I am going to call the university in the morning to see what my matriculation status is. I’m sure they’re just overloaded with applications and stuff, but I’m getting nervous. I guess it wouldn’t be a huge deal if I had to wait until the spring to start, but I’m bored and want to get a-movin’ on my edumacation here.

What are your goals and plans right now?

Also, shortly after making this vlog, I discovered a new way to annoy Mike. The “All for You” song does the trick, but any Mariah Carey song will make him threaten to burn an X into my forehead. I need your help. Give me Mariah Carey songs to sing to him! The only one I can think of and remember is “Sweet Fantasy” or whatever. I need a full arsenal, and you’re my only hope.

I had an easier time with the subconscious picking today. I still did it a few times but not as often as Day 2 and Day 1. I did somehow start replacing it with biting and peeling the skin off my lips with my teeth, so I had to put some A+D Ointment on and then some lip gloss to keep myself from doing it. Sigh.

I’m really glad I’m on Day 4 now. This is hard!

My plan is to keep going after Day 4. If the first four days are really the hardest, then Day 5 and beyond should be no problem, right?

♦

In other news, tonight — this morning? — I watched a documentary that turned me completely upside down. I’ll try to write more about it later when I’ve depolarized and stabilized a little.

My little scabbed pimple is still scabbed!

Technically it’s now Day 3, but I was out at the grocery store and Taco Bell trying to get me a couple of fixes: ice cream and a Crunchwrap Supreme.

I think Day 2 was just as hard as Day 1. I’m still catching myself doing it without thinking. In some ways, it might have been worse, because a few times I went to do it on purpose and ended up rubbing the spot with my fingertips instead. Rubbing it is helping, because I’m not picking at it but still get to do something to it. I don’t know if that makes sense, but it makes sense to me.

It definitely hasn’t been easy, but I’m proud of myself for making it halfway through!

To keep myself occupied, I spent the day nursing my six-day headache, reorganizing and cleaning files, and setting up a play by post RPG.

I went to bed Thursday night with the headache and woke up with it again, so I started to freak out a little. It can’t be good to have a headache for six days, even if there’s some reprieve occasionally. So, I went to WebMD and put my symptoms into their Symptom Checker: headache, dizziness, and forgetfulness. Some of the diagnoses that came up only made a little sense, and then I saw “heat exhaustion.” It turns out that the fainting episode I had last week — the same day I got my Fievel tattoo – was most likely from heat exhaustion, and this week I’ve been suffering the aftereffects.

Basically, last Tuesday night I fainted while hanging out with some friends. At the time, I thought it had been because of low blood sugar, but after reading the article on WebMD, I’m convinced it was heat exhaustion. I hadn’t really been drinking a lot of fluids, other than an iced coffee. It was also a super hot day — we’ve been having a heatwave — and the AC at the shop couldn’t keep up with it. All throughout my tattoo, I dripped sweat. I am not normally a sweater, but I had sweat dripping down my face and probably soaking through my shirt. It was attractive. After I got the tattoo done, I had two Jack and Coke’s at the bar with Sean. About an hour after the drinks, I fainted. My blood pressure dropped, all of the color went out of my face, and I hit the floor. Luckily I had someone to catch me, but it was still scary because I didn’t remember fainting, and didn’t even remember feeling like I was going to faint.

WebMD said the symptoms of heat exhaustion are fainting, dizziness, thirst, and headache, and that you can feel shitty for about a week after the episode. As soon as I put it all together and realized that was what was going on, I did my best to stay inside and drink extra fluids. I’m feeling better now, but occasionally I can feel the headache threatening. I really hope it doesn’t come back again, because I’ve tried everything at this point and am ready to just be a baby and go to the ER if it does.

Since I’m unemployed and bored out of my mind, I spent a good two to three hours going through, reorganizing, and backing up files across my laptop, two flash drives, and external hard drive. I cleared one of the flash drives so that I can use it for school things. You know. If the school ever sends me my damn acceptance letter. I also fretted about said unemployment and decided that this weekend I am hardcore job hunting and someone is going to hire me, dammit.

Also because I’m unemployed and bored, I then got an idea for a play by post RPG — which is not the dice-rolling Dungeons and Dragons kind of crap you probably think it is; it’s more like writing a novel with a bunch of people on a forum — and started setting it up. It’s not done yet, but you can check it out and let me know if you’re interested. If I wasn’t procrastinating, I’d put this time into editing Sade on the Wall, but here we are.

I also read and wrote a review for Serenity: The Shepherd’s Tale. If you’re a Firefly/Serenity fan, you should go read my review and comment on it so we can geek out.

I guess it was kind of a productive day, even though I stayed in my pajamas and didn’t comb my hair.

How was your day? If you’re doing a four-day challenge like mine, how’s it going?

Check out that monster scab on my chin.

Today was hard. I wrote my goal post long before midnight last night, and even though I technically didn’t have to start yet, I tried like hell to get used to not picking. Even then, I kept catching myself doing it unconsciously… and that’s been the case all day today. Of course, I’m not counting it if I don’t realize I’m doing it; the whole point is to stop doing it knowingly so that I won’t do it without realizing it.

I took the snapshot to the left early this afternoon. You can see some of my pimples, but mostly what I wanted to show you was the scabbed pimple smack in the middle of my chin. I have been dying to pick at that all day today. The good news is, I haven’t! This four-day trial just might work.

Of course, I’m also dying to cheat and buy myself my reward early so that I can get started on my new project. Last night I said I was going to get a hand sewing machine, a Barbie, and some fabric. I’m sure that sounds slightly crazy, right? Well, there is a method to my madness: I want to learn how to sew clothing for myself, but am too chicken, cheap, and broke to buy a sewing machine and start practicing, so I’m going to start practicing on one of those cheap $6 Barbies. And okay, there is also a slightly crazy reason for this; ever since I stumbled on Dorrie Belle’s site, I’ve secretly wanted to try making clothes for fashion dolls. She does some amazing stuff, and so does this guy. I’ve been inspired by Teresa’s DIY projects for real people since I found her space, but I think the sewing kick really started when I saw some of the reupholstered chairs Mike’s mom, Tracy, did. A few months later, I saw Joel Dewberry’s Sewn Spaces at Joann’s, and it’s been love ever since.

Sewn Spaces, by Joel Dewberry

I am possibly obsessed with his book, and I don’t even own it yet. It’s full of really cool and simple sewing projects for around the house… but again, it requires a sewing machine. The book itself is an investment — I think it’s almost $30 — but he explains all of the projects in a way that I easily understand, and it comes with all of the project patterns. I’m definitely going to get it someday; my plan is to buy a sewing machine as soon as I can and get cracking! (I might even just start hanging out at Mike’s mom’s 24/7 and hijack her sewing machine. Hell, I think my great-grandmother still has hers, and she does live right downstairs from me. Hmn…)

Pajamas and yoga clothes sketch

In the meantime, it’s just going to be Barbie and me. I’ve already sketched up some things I want to try, that I think I can eyeball without a pattern. Either that, or I’m going to end up learning how to make patterns for her teeny tiny ass through trial and error. I know there are tons of free patterns online, and I’ve even bookmarked a few of them, but I’m a hands on kind of girl and learn much better by trying and doing. I’ve also decided to forgo the hand sewing machine, because I’m kind of skeptic of them. If you’ve ever used one and like it, please let me know and maybe give me some recommendations. In the meantime, though, I’m going to try my hand at sewing… literally.

So yeah, in a nutshell, my reward for no picking for four days is the start of my sewing adventure. Who knows, Barbie and I might end up becoming good friends again and I’ll develop a Barbie clothes making hobby.

I will, of course, be blogging all of my adventures in sewing, because there will definitely be craftastrophies and those are always blog worthy.

Are you doing a four-day challenge? How’s it going so far?

I am a skin picker. I pick scabs, pimples, my scalp, those little tiny bumps, and eczema. The only things I don’t pick are tattoos, and only because I know the consequence of doing so is a nasty, scarred, ruined tattoo.

The picking gets worse when I’m stressed. I’ve always been a picker, though. I think that’s where my deliberate, conscious self-harming — cutting — stemmed from. I also bite the inside of my mouth until it bleeds, and that’s its own kind of picking, because after I’ve bit a part a few times, it turns into a bump and I keep biting at it. Also, I’ve jokingly mentioned that I pick my nose before, but since I’m being honest here I’ll tell you that even that is something I do compulsively and more so when I’m stressed; everyone picks their nose occasionally, for one reason or another, but I do it so often when I’m stressed that I break the skin inside and end up bleeding a little sometimes.

Like I said, I pick almost everything, but like every substance abuser, I have a favorite thing to pick: pimples. With pimples, it’s kind of a circle of picking: I get stressed out, start getting small outbreaks of pimples, start picking at them until they bleed, pick at their scab, get more pimples because of the picking (bacteria gets under your skin and causes more pimples), then start picking at them… I’ve been stressed since before May, first because of working at That Horrible Place, then because I can’t find a job. So, I’ve had a crazy outbreak of pimples since about May, all along my hairline, and a few on and under my chin, and on my chest.

I really need to stop the pimple picking because like I said, it causes more pimples, and you also risk a lot of facial scarring. I’ve been lucky so far. I seem to have super resilient skin; I’ve probably been picking at my pimples for about ten years, and yet have no facial scars. The picking in general is definitely not good, because it puts you more at risk for staph infections. Again, I’ve been lucky so far, but I am planning on stopping all of it eventually. Right now, I want to focus on my pimple picking.

If for some reason you can’t see the video, she describes a method explained in the book The Four-Day Win: End Your Diet War and Achieve Thinner Peace, by Martha Beck, PhD. Basically, you take the smallest part of your habit and say that for four days, you’re not going to do it. So, if you’re trying to quit smoking, you’d say for four days, you’re not going to have more than one cigarette each day. Then, at the end of those four days, you reward yourself somehow. So you would say, “For four days, I’m going to or not going to do X, and then at the end of those four days, as long as I’ve met my goal, I’m going to buy myself Y.” After those four days, you continue to do or not do the thing you’re working on.

The idea is, the first four days are the hardest, so you need to only think about those four days and give yourself some kind of incentive.

She also admits that she has a picking problem, almost exactly like mine. (She talks about pimples in the video, so I have no idea if hers is exactly like mine or only pimples.)

Seeing this video did me a lot of good. For one, I was really ashamed of my picking problem and didn’t want to ever admit it. I also thought I was the only one — or at least didn’t think I’d ever find anyone else who has a picking problem, because it’s not an easy thing to admit. Even better, though, it gave me a way to stop without it feeling overwhelming. I’ve tried stopping before. When a habit becomes so compulsive that you don’t even realize you’re doing it, it’s a whole lot harder to break.

A couple of years ago, when I quit smoking, I could easily stop myself from lighting up because it’s always a conscious decision; when I want to have a cigarette, I think to myself, I’m going to go have a cigarette. It’s probably conscious only because I smoke outside rather than inside, but it is conscious. (Except for that one time a few years ago when I had a cigarette and lighter in my hand, was planning to go outside, and unconsciously lit it. I realized it a second later and ran outside before my grandparents could smell it. I had just woken up and wasn’t quite awake yet.)

When I try to stop picking, though, I catch myself doing it without thinking about it all the time, as if I’m not even in control of my own hands. Of course, when I catch myself it’s always too late, and most of the time I only realize it after there’s blood dripping down my face. It’s going to be a lot of work these next few days.

That’s right — for the next four days, I am not going to pick at my pimples. Scabs and other non-pimple, non-tattoo things are fine, but I am not picking any pimples for four days. That means from today, the 21st, to Sunday the 24th at 11:59pm, I am not picking any pimples, for any reason. Popping with Qtips is okay, though, because that’s nice and sanitary (and actually recommended by beauty experts), but using Qtips to scrape open any scabbed pimples is not an option.

As a reward, I’m going to cash in my Gatorade bottle of change and get a couple of things for a project I’ll tell you more about later:

• a hand sewing machine
• a Barbie doll
• some fabric

I know I can do this.

Do you have any habits you’d like to break? Have you tried to break any of them? Have you ever succeeded in breaking a difficult habit? I really need some support on this, so leave me a comment to tell me about it! (You can leave me an anonymous comment by typing “Anonymous” in the name field and “anonymous@example.com” in the email address field. Leave the website URL field blank and you’re good to go!)

I promise I will not laugh or make fun of any habit, no matter how weird it may seem. After all, I totally just told you my deep, dark secret. I will also not tolerate anyone else being a dick about your habits. This is a bad habit safe zone, so comment away!

May and June 2011 Goals

I just found this in my drafts. I reread it, then published it for the date it should have been published. It was finished, but I’d never published it. Reading it again was weird. I know now that I didn’t publish it at the time because I didn’t really want to go back to school. Five months later, and I’m still not sure whether I want to go back to school. I’m not sure of much of anything.

I do know that, although I’m not where I thought I’d be, I did the best I could.

2011 Goals:

• Pay off the remainder of my student loans by the summer. I’ve knocked it down from $3,807.75 (07/25/2010) to $3,382.74 (05/16/2011). That’s about $500. Since the interest kind of makes this an uphill battle, I think $500 is pretty good. I want to do better, though. I’m tired of this debt hanging over my head. I don’t think I’ll have it paid off within the next couple of months, though.
• Re-matriculate as a junior at Southern Connect State University, apply to the Elementary Education program, and get in. Um… No thanks. I want to know that I want to go back to school, before I go back. (Translation: Before I make the commitment and rack up another expensive debt.)
• Move into an apartment with Mike by the summer. This could still happen. I have a good chunk of money in my savings account. He has more dental work to get done, though, which is going to end up being a debt he’s going to have to pay off. (And I think it’s going to be about the same amount as my student loan!) We might be looking at the fall now… or another six months. It wouldn’t be so bad, but there are five of us crowded into this one bedroom apartment (Mom, Dad, Lauren, Mike, and me [and Squirt and Apollo]). I don’t know why it seemed like less people when it was Noni, Popi, Lauren, and me here.
• Edit Sade On the Wall and produce a second draft. I’ve done a read through of the first draft… That counts, kind of, right? I know what I need to do to whip a second draft up. I just can’t seem to get myself to do it. That changes, starting today…

In January, I decided that my next steps were:

1. Find and implement a better source of income, and
2. Read through Sade On the Wall once and make a complete list of things that need to be fixed.

I actually ended up doing both. I found a $28,000 salary job, and I read through “Sade,” made some corrections, and made notes and lists of improvements for the second draft.

I’m proud of what I accomplished.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I’ve decided on what my goals for right now are — what my “what’s next” is.

May and June 2011 Goals:

• Find a part-time job. I’ve decided that, if I’m really careful and budget well, I can make a part-time income work for me.
• Write the second draft of Sade On the Wall. The other part of my time will be spent making those changes I found when I read through the manuscript.
• Make $65 on FreakingBookworm.com. The third part of my time will be spent growing Freaking Bookworm and making $65 by October, to pay for my New York Comic Con ticket.
• Submit “Outlaw Love Story” to another magazine. I’ve only submitted this story to one magazine, and it got rejected. I’m still excited that it got rejected, but now it’s time to get over the simultaneous disappointment, tweak it a little, and submit it somewhere else.

I’d also like to enter some kind of writing contest, but I’m not going to add that to the list of goals. Four is enough for now.

By accomplishing these goals, I’ll be officially done being a web designer. I’ll be a part-time writer, on my way to being a full-time writer. And, with the flexibility of a part-time retail job, I’ll be able to attend my doctors’ appointments without hassle and hopefully finally get a diagnosis.

I can do this.

I’m going to try to get everything in purple done today, and everything with a * done this week.

UPDATE 02/08: I’m trying to get everything in blue done today (Tuesday).

UPDATE 02/09: Today is redrum.

UPDATE 02/10: Apparently trying to divide this list into days isn’t working for me, so from now on I’m just going to tackle this list like I did the last one: a little at a time.

• Open IRA and transfer 401(k) to it*. My new job has 401(k), also, so I really want to get this moved as soon as possible.
• Reorganize work area*. I organized most of my work area last month, but now that I’m not working from home anymore, I want to organize it so that it can be utilized solely for writing. The way I have it organized now, everything for work is within reach, and everything for writing… not really.
• Pay back Mike. Poor Mike. He’s been keeping my nicotine levels stable and helping me out with anything else that he can. I feel horrible that I owe him so much money from Christmas and that he’s still helping me out. At the same time, it’s a nice feeling; like he says all the time, I’d do it for him. It’s so nice to be in a relationship like that.
• Pay Mom for January, February, and probably March car insurance. More guilt ensues.
• Put aside money for 2010 taxes. It’s a good thing I have until April, huh?
• Edit first draft of Sade On the Wall and add chapters for second draft*. First, an outline!
• Pawn sword*. I have a replica of a samurai suicide sword that an old boyfriend once bought me. At the time, I wanted to collect tons of sharp, pointy objects. It’s sat tucked between a couple of pieces of furniture for the last, oh, five or so years, because I’ve had nowhere to put it. Now that I’m older, I don’t even want to collect swords, nor do I want one in the house for when future Mini Liz and Mini Mike are roaming around. (Eek!) Plus? Hi, I’m broke! I’ve already tried one pawn shop but they don’t take weapons. I’m going to (try to remember to) try another one sometime this week.
• Upgrade processor. I want a faster laptop, and I want to play Sims 3 without it crashing, dammit!
• Edit “In the Darkness, It Waits” for Confluenza reading*.
• Take car to Town Fair Tire to get tires checked out for leaks*.
• Discuss final payment*.
• Redesign personal sites. I’d like to redesign EKB Designs, Letters of Love, and my blog, so that when I’m ready to renew my hosting, I can launch some sexy-ass sites¹.
• File tax return*.
• Exchange Dad’s Christmas gift*. I am so late on this. Good thing the receipt lasts until March 31st.
• Transplant dragon tree*. My poor little plant is way too big for the pot it’s in right now.

It never ends, I guess.

What’s on your To Do list?

¹All of my websites are still live at the moment, and my plan is definitely canceled. I’m starting to wonder if one of you were sneaky and renewed it for me. I’m thinking it’s a glitch on my host’s part, though, and while I’d love to be using my sites, I’m afraid that if I start using them again, they will get wiped and I’ll lose some data. Once I get back on my feet, I’m paying for three years in advance. It’s cheaper, and that way, I won’t have to worry about it again for quite some time.

*I want to try to get all of these things done this week!