2012 So Far: It’s All Coming Together

I’ve been horribly lacking in the blogging department lately. I’d apologize, but I’ve been accomplishing a lot. As some of you know, my parents, sister, and I moved in with my grandparents about six years ago. The house is a three-family home, and each apartment is a one-bedroom. Originally, my great-grandmother lived on the first floor and my grandparents lived on the third floor. My great aunt lives on the second floor. When we moved in, my sister and I moved in with my grandparents on the third floor, and my parents moved in with my great-grandmother on the first floor. It was supposed to be temporary, so we literally slapped down mattresses in the middle of each apartment. When Popi got sick, he and Noni moved downstairs and my parents came upstairs. Mike moved in with us on the third floor. Popi passed away. Our apartment continued to look like a hostel rather than a home.

For years, we planned on moving things around, making it look better, but for one reason or another (conflicting schedules, procrastination, etc), it never quite happened. We did finally empty out our storage unit and move everything into the cellar. Mom rearranged the bedroom. I decided to stop waiting for any kind of collaborative effort and took it upon myself to rearrange my sister’s and my room, what was originally our grandparents’ dining room.

For the past six years, our mattresses sat on an angle in the middle of the room, leaving only a slim pathway between the living room and kitchen. It’s still not done, but I moved a lot of furniture around, went through all of my things and took out several garbage bags, vacuumed, dusted… and ended up with this:

Coming together...

Coming together...

There’s still a huge walnut desk and dry sink that need to be moved downstairs so that Noni can use them again (the dry sink is just for decoration), but it’s coming together nicely. Mostly, I’m proud of myself because I thought I couldn’t do anything like this anymore (moving furniture around). I thought it’d be too much on my body… which it was, but I did it anyway. And you know what? Every day after I moved furniture, I felt a little better. Sure, I popped a lot of Tylenol and Tramadol at night after lifting, heaving, and tugging all day, but the sense of pride I felt way outweighed the pain.

I’ve lost a little momentum now, but can’t do much more anyway until the desk and dry sink come out. I have “before” pictures and I can’t wait to show you them with the “after” pictures I’m going to take. I know it’s probably not such a big deal, but knowing I did this all by myself is a big deal to me. Take that, joint pain! Plus, getting anything done around here is a big deal anyway. We’ve all been sardined in here for so long that everyone’s sort of gotten comfortable with it, even though we all complain about the lack of space.

I printed out the first draft of Secondhand Mom, and as I put the pages into plastic page protectors in a binder, I noticed a lot of continuity errors just from speed reading as I went through the stack. I sort of want to edit Secondhand Mom before I work on Sade On the Wall, but I’m not sure yet. I think SOTW will be easier to turn into a second draft, because there aren’t any continuity errors, just some style issues, accuracy with some description, and maybe pace. The more editing and revising I do, the more I love it.

Speaking of which, I’ve edited and revised another short story to be published as an ebook soon. I just need to format the manuscript and haven’t had the chance to do it. I did design a cover, though, and after sleeping on it for a few days, I’m really happy with it and won’t be making any changes. At some point, I’m going to write up a quick post about designing covers.

And continuing with the writing theme… I found a website that has tons of freelance copywriting jobs, and was thinking about trying to make that into my part-time income, but then decided I’d rather spend that time working on my fiction. So, one of my goals for this year have changed, just a little.

I’m really anxious to get this room finished, though, because my whole reason for rearranging it was to create a more organized and comfortable work space for myself. I have a hard time doing any writing when I feel cluttered.

I’ve also been thinking about going back to Facebook. Hear me out. I know I said I wouldn’t, but it’s becoming more and more clear to me that, for marketing purposes, I do probably need to be there, to some extent. I want to get my hands dirtier with self-publishing and submitting stories to markets so that when I start querying Sade On the Wall, I have somewhat of a name and readership built up for myself. I was talking with a friend one night over dinner about self-publishing and she asked me if she could do it, too. “Sure,” I said. “You’d even have a leg up on me, because you still have a Facebook, with friends and family on it who’d support your work.” And it’s true. I gained a lot of readers through Facebook. Half the time, I didn’t even know people were reading until it was casually mentioned, or someone emailed me about a blog post I’d written. I’ve decided that, if I do go back, my personal profile will be completely locked down, and I’ll use it only to run a page focused on my writing. That way, I won’t have to deal with most of the things I hated about Facebook. I haven’t completely decided yet, though.

Speaking of social media, I now have an author profile on Goodreads. This isn’t nearly as cool as it sounds. It’s still the same profile I had before, just more writerly. I’m still relatively unknown… but I’m hoping this will give me a leg up. Maybe I won’t have to return to the devil Facebook. ;)

However — and this is cool — I discovered that Goodreads authors can put their ebooks up for sale there… so “Moon Prayer” is now available on Goodreads. “Moon Prayer” is still not available on Amazon… but De told me it’s because Smashwords and Amazon are at some kind of standstill for negotiations, so I need to upload it to Amazon myself. This is on my mile-long To Do list… which is only getting longer, but I love every minute of this.

I’ve been following De’s successes closely for a long time now, but recently started following the success story of Amanda Hocking as well, and the more I read about either of them, the more possible this all seems. I’m going to be an author. It doesn’t feel far-fetched, like some kind of pipe dream. It feels like a real dream. It still scares me, but in a good way.

If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough.

via Pinterest

It’s freeing.

Aside from all that, I’ve been reading, experimenting with clothing and makeup, contemplating cutting my hair, spending time with friends and family, saving my ass off for a Mac and an apartment, snuggling with my cat, loving Mike and falling in love with him over and over, and just enjoying life in general.

It’s all coming together.

I wanna go, go, go

Maybe it’s winter cabin fever, maybe it’s just wanting to experience something new, but I’ve got an itch to travel. Think about it: I am twenty-two, childless (for now), and curious. (If only I had more money. Or, hell, any money at all!) I’ve been thinking a lot lately about all the different places I want to experience. I’d even like to live in some of these places for a short while, just to see what it’s like.

  • New York City. Last time I went was for the comic convention in October 2010. It was only a few months ago, but it feels like it’s been forever. I’d like to go again, to do something else (maybe see something on Broadway); when I’m in New York, I feel really alive. (It might be the fear of crossing the street, though; all of the drivers are insane!) Even at night, there are thousands of people out on the streets, going somewhere, doing something. I think I’d even like to live there for a while — not too long, though, and definitely not during the winter, with all of the walking I’d have to do in the cold.
  • Australia. I was watching a special on Animal Planet last night about some kind of giant Australian spider that they recently created an anti-venom for (fucked if I can remember the name of the spider). At the beginning of the program, I was kind of panicking, because I’d like to visit Australia sometime, but the idea of a spider bite killing me while out there is not exactly my idea of fun. So when they depicted the first person to be bitten and saved by a (then) newly developed anti-venom, I was pretty relieved. I think Australia is beautiful, and can’t wait to see it someday.
  • England. I guess I’d really like to visit other English-speaking countries first — you know, sort of pop my traveling cherry. Australia and England are at the top of my list. I think it’d be cool as hell to sit in a British pub and have a beer (or four). I’d also like to check out their theatre. Plus, I am part English; some of my ancestors are from our (the States’) cousin country. I think they were Welsh, specifically. Or maybe it’s wishful thinking, since I love Duffy so much.
  • Canada. Again, another English-speaking country I’d like to visit. I also have quite a few friends up north — Jess, Blaine, and my Sanya — who I’d love to meet. I am pretty sure you all live hours apart, but it’d be worth driving around and getting lost in the wilderness snow.
  • Japan. I’ve wanted to visit Japan since I was a kid. For a while, I picked up a lot of Japanese, and was really interested in their culture. Naturally, that led to watching anime and reading manga. For most people, it’s the other way around, but my interest in Japan actually started because of something I borrowed from the library as a tiny Liz. (Again, fucked if I can remember what; I just remember it was from the library and it inspired in me a huge interest.) When I saw Sarah Michelle Gellar move to Tokyo in The Grudge, I thought, I can do that, too! I can totally live on ramen. Who cares that you can’t read the ingredients?! I’m older and smarter now; I’d make sure to learn Japanese before visiting — at least enough so that I could do basic things like go grocery shopping.
  • Florida. Like NYC, I’ve already been to Florida several times. But I feel magnetically attracted to it, in the same way that I have to be around Mike; I just feel like I belong there. Being in a small beach town like Deerfield, just a few minutes’ walk away from the beach, is all I want in life. I’m sure Deerfield is more of a tourist trap now, but if it’s still decent, I don’t care. Even when it’s summer here, I long for Florida sand beneath my toes. It is my biggest wish that Mike will move down with me and we can raise our family there. (Unfortunately, my Michael is stubborn and has his roots firmly set here, where his family is. I totally get it, but I’m slightly afraid that this will eventually pull us apart. We shall see.)
  • Italy. I am mostly Italian. I’d love to see where my Biz Noni’s parents came from. (She’s my great-grandmother; my dad’s mom’s [Noni's] mother.) Popi is half Italian, half French, so I’d love to see where his family came from, too (even though from what I hear, they were not good people). Plus, as shallow as this is going to sound, I love pasta, and the thought of being in the country where most pasta dishes¹ came from sends my tastebuds into a near-erotic frenzy. On a less shallow note, I love hearing Italian spoken, and hope that someday I can speak it, too.
  • France. Watching Inglourious Basterds made me really want to see France. I think French is a beautiful language — actually, I think most languages are beautiful: English, Japanese, Italian, Hindi, French, Spanish, etc — and I want to sit in a French cafe, smoking a cigarette with a cup of coffee and pastry in front of me. (Okay, I guess after thinking about all of my reasons for wanting to visit other places, I’m a shallow romantic.)
  • Egypt. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve wanted to go to Egypt and see the pyramids and other monuments. I’d die happy if I could walk through the passages of a pyramid. Of course, right now things aren’t too stable in Egypt, so it will be quite a while before it’ll be safe to visit. (Plus, I’m a huge believer in speaking at least some of the language of the country you’re visiting, and although I dabbled a little in glyphs as a kid, Egyptian is very difficult to learn.)
  • Mexico. I want to see the Mayan ruins, plain and simple. (I’d also like to visit a Spanish-speaking country, because, again, it’s a beautiful language, but my inner history nerd gets the credit for this one.) When I think of Mexico, I either think of the Mayans or of the 1800′s (but probably because Mike has been playing a lot of Red Dead Redemption).

I guess for now I need to get a job, right? Then maybe I can start thinking about seeing something on Broadway in the summer. I just really want to see some new places. Someone once told me that a good writer has traveled and seen a lot. Aside from itching to go, I’d like the experience so that I can apply it to my stories.

What places do you want to visit?

On a totally different note, am I an old lady, or is the font on this theme way too freaking small?!

¹Yes, I know that pasta technically originated in China, from where Marco Polo brought the noodle recipe to Italy.

Christmas cookie bake day 2010

Every year, my dad’s side of the family gets together to bake cookies. Yesterday, Noni, Mom, Biz Noni, Lauren, and I made peanut butter blossoms, gingerbread, chocolate chip, and oatmeal with macadamia nuts, cranberries, and white chocolate chips. We had a really good time.

Noni's Christmas village

Noni had her yearly Christmas village all set up.

Hot Arbor Mist Orchard Fruits Chardonnay with cinnamon stick

We drank hot Arbor Mist Orchard Fruits Chardonnay with cinnamon sticks

Boy and girl gingerbread people

And decorated boy and girl gingerbread people. Noni did these.

I didn’t get to do everything I wanted to do yesterday, but I’m glad I did this.

Just another Thanksgiving list

As much as I’ve been whining lately, I have a lot to be thankful for.

I have two sweet cats (even though they aren’t so sweet to each other). I have a printer that does print (even though it is mentally challenged), and a laptop, both of which I use to write stories. Which reminds me — I am thankful that I have the ability to put my thoughts and feelings and imagination into words.

I have an awesome sister who is my best friend, and an awesome best friend who is like a sister. I have a beautiful family: my mom, dad, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I have a boyfriend who fits me completely.

I also have a mouth, which can taste and chew and eat (pleasepleaseplease let 2:00 tomorrow come quickly)! I have a body that may be diseased, but does allow me — roadblocks and all — to do what I love , and I am so thankful for that.

I have a great group of friends, both online and offline. I have a job that, although it can be stressful, I love, and allows me to work from home, during my own hours. I am so thankful that I don’t have to get up early in the morning, that I can work in my pajamas or sweats, and take as many breaks as I want, so that I can rest when I need to.

I have a beautiful niece and beautiful godchildren.

I have so much good in my life that, when I lump it all together, it far outweighs the bad.

And that is what I’m most thankful for.

What are you thankful for?

Birthday #22 recap

Thanks for all of the birthday wishes! I had a good weekend. I definitely missed my sister, but the rest of my family kept me occupied. On Saturday, we did a cookout up at the lake (the seasonal campground my grandparents have had a site at since before I was born). I chose the lake because it was one of Popi’s favorite places to be, and I feel closest to him there. Noni made me spignata, which is an Italian layered bread, with salt, pepper, rosemary, and garlic between each layer. It’s my favorite thing that she makes, and I wanted it specifically because I hadn’t had it in a long time. We did hamburgers, hotdogs, ribs, and macaroni and green salads, too, and then we had ice cream cake. We all agreed that Friendly’s ice cream cake is better than Carvel’s.

After we stuffed ourselves, I opened my presents. I got lots of money, which I plan on putting toward new clothes* and some treats**. I also got a gift card to Victoria’s Secret, which I really needed***.

Nana, Aunt Elyne, and Kate left before it got dark. Noni, Aunt Wendy, Vin, Mike, Mom, Dad, Biz Noni, Aunt Barbara, and I all stayed overnight (Biz Noni and Aunt Barbara’s site is right next to Noni’s). I attempted to make a vodka collins and failed; Smirnoff vodka really sucks unless you’re using it for mixed drinks. (You know, the ones you can barely taste the alcohol in. Sigh.) Mike and I got into a relatively stupid fight (but talked things out the next morning and throughout the next day). Dad built a really big fire, and we all just hung out until we were tired. I also ended up crying like a five-year-old on Aunt Wendy’s shoulder because I really missed Popi, but I still had a good night.

Sitting around the fire, 08/28/2010

Sitting around the fire, 08/28/2010

The next day, we had a huge breakfast after Dad and Vinny got back from fishing. A bee ended up stealing my pancakes and eating my syrup, so I mostly ate bacon****. Then Dad went to go visit one of his childhood friends who now camps there, too, while the rest of us went down to the water for a swim. The water was a little cool but very refreshing. Mike and I talked some more while I floated around, and things were worked out.

I’m proud of us; we’re learning to communicate better and to recognize when we are overreacting. Everyone — I don’t care who you are — picks stupid fights, and it’s important to talk even when you think you’re overreacting, or when you think the other person is being unfair. I realized years ago that I tend to pick fights for no reason, and have been making a huge effort lately to ask myself, Is this really that important to me? before I open my mouth. (I have a hard time thinking before acting.)

Like a good wine, we just keep getting better and better.

And speaking of, tomorrow is our four year anniversary. When I stop and think about it, four years isn’t really a long period of time — but it is a long time to be with someone, and it also feels like we’ve been together forever. We know each other really well. In some ways, I think we know each other better than we know ourselves, which has helped me learn more about myself. We have come a long way from the uncertain beginning we had.

I just realized that I got way off track here, so I’ll write more about us tomorrow. :D

Anyway, we spent most of Sunday up at the lake. Aunt Wendy and Vin left shortly before we had an early dinner, and Mom and Dad left just before dark. Mike and I would have left then, too, but he saw the sun setting over the lake and thought it would be romantic to go watch it. Noni had suggested we watch the sunset the night before, saying that she and Popi used to all the time. I think that was when he had his headphones on and I was annoyed with him, so we ended up not going, hahaha. But we did go last night, and it was beautiful. I ended up taking him on the trail to the old root cellar — what we kids always called The Cave. There’s a little shore there with a great view of one side of the lake, and that’s where we sat, talking about the future.

For all of the times we get on each other’s nerves, we have at least ten good “moments” or days.

We left after walking back up to the site and kissing Noni goodnight, trying to beat the sun setting completely. We made it… sort of. We ended up missing the exit to get on the next route, getting off the expressway (which ended right after the exit), getting back on, and jumping on the next route… in the wrong direction. Luckily, we were able to find what we thought might be a shortcut, but naturally we ended up sitting on 84 in Hartford because they decided Sunday while people were driving back from weekend getaways was a good time to do night paving. We just sat there listening to music and laughing at our luck, which if you know me is funny, because I have no patience for traffic. Although, I should add that I did make a few comments, so I’m still me. I think I’m growing as a person, but Mike says he’s just rubbing off on me. (I’M GROWING AS A PERSON, DAMMIT!)

By the time we got back and hit the bank, we were too tired to do anything else. I made us scrambled eggs and toast, and then we went to bed.

Operation Twenty-Two was a success! I had a good time, with good people. And oddly enough, I slept better in the air mattress in the tent Saturday night than I did in my own bed last night. This tells me my mattress sucks.


*As soon as I lose more weight, I’m treating myself to a new wardrobe. A couple of people told me I look like I’ve lost some weight this weekend, and I managed to squeeze myself into my size seven jeans Thursday night before going to the bar with my friend Sean.

**I desperately need some new CDs, and I want to get a pair of boots, and maybe some DVDs (I still need Firefly, and Dollhouse comes out October 12th)!

***GIRLS ONLY post about this coming soon!

****Seriously. The little fucker refused to get off of my plate, and I’m too chicken to swat at bees anyway, so he had an easy victory.