First, I want to say that, although I’m not replying directly to comments, emails, tweets, etc right now, I am reading them all and I do appreciate every one of them. You guys have been amazing through this, and I couldn’t ask for better friends. (This, of course, includes my face-to-face friends. You all rock!)
Second… an update on Popi. Yesterday, I stopped in before going to work to say hi and give him a kiss. VITAS — the hospice center we’re using — was there to present him a military award, the first among several he’s receiving. I hadn’t seen him since the day before, so I didn’t expect the condition that he was in. He could barely talk and was almost out of it. (Actually, I just realized that I already wrote about this, so you can read it here, if you’d like.)
When I got home from work, he was worse. He wasn’t really talking at all. We could just make out some of what he was saying. I stayed downstairs with my laptop to get some work done so that I could be around and work at the same time. Lauren came home from work and we visited a while longer, then went in to kiss him goodnight. We told him we love him, and he mumbled something that — to me, Lauren, and Noni — was unmistakably, “I love you, too.”
About an hour later, someone from downstairs called Dad and he went downstairs. Lauren and I waited for a while, then decided we couldn’t wait any longer to see what was going on.
When we went downstairs, we found that Popi was on oxygen because he was having trouble breathing and Noni called one of the hospice nurses in. This was all at about midnight or later; I’m not really sure.
The nurse told us all that Popi is in the dying stages, and that it could happen within the next couple of days. We all — Lauren, me, Mom, Dad, Noni, Biz Noni, Aunt Wendy, and Uncle Lonny — were up until five in the morning or later, staying together, crying, holding each other, visiting with Popi, and basically just being together.
That mumbled, “I love you, too” was the last thing he said to me and Lauren, but we’ve all been talking to him and he can definitely hear us. He raises his eyebrows when we say something that piques his interest or strikes him as funny, and he squeezed my hand earlier.
Today my cousin Vinny — no pun intended — came over to visit, too, and Mike stopped by before going in to work (he’s still doing overnights). Popi’s breathing is getting more and more labored.
I called out of work for the rest of the week and will take more time as needed. I’m also not working with my aunt for the time being. What’s important to me right now is to spend time with my family, and to be there for all of us.
I’m not sure how often I’ll be updating this blog at this point. I just wanted to let you all know what was going on, and to let you all know that I’m heartbroken, but I’m not sinking. I’m definitely depressed, but I think that having my family, writing down all of my memories of Popi, and being here throughout all of this is keeping me from completely going under.
I thank you all for your support, your hugs, your love. I’ll be back; I just don’t know when.
Completely random: The joint in my wrist has been hurting since I was downstairs with my family last night. I took Tylenol earlier and it seemed to help, but now it’s aching again. I’m hoping this all isn’t starting again, but it’s highly coincidental that this is how my chronic pain issues all started. Sigh.
Even more random: The LEGO Harry Potter game is awesome. I’m glad that I got it; it’s been a great way to take my mind off of things, and it’s also a lot of fun.
