The people have asked for a blog update, so who am I to deny her them?

I have officially survived my first two weeks of being full-time self-employed. The reason I have completely forgotten about abstained from updating my blog is that I’ve been leaving my laptop at my aunt’s, and during the day I don’t have enough time to write anything. I actually like this. The days go by fast, and I always feel good and productive when I leave.

There’s also a lot of drama going on, none of which I can write about, because as much as it pisses me off, it’s not my drama to tell. I would move the world for Mike, but when I can’t, it makes me crazy.

Thursday night I went to see Ramona and Beezus with my mom and sister. It was really, really, really cute. When I was in elementary school, I read most of the Beverly Cleary books about Ramona. She is one of my all-time favorite children’s book characters. I can’t wait until I have a little girl — or until my goddaughter Kaylene is old enough — so that I can read her the Ramona books. It was a nice night out with Mom and Lauren, and one of very few left, since Lauren is going away to school… on my birthday. I’m honestly really sad about my little sister leaving the nest, even if it’s not really permanent. I’ve spent the last eighteen years seeing her almost every day. She’s my best friend*.

But you can’t change anything**. You can only adapt.

It’s weird when life is half good and half crazy-in-a-bad-way. You spend all of your time alternating between grinning like the Joker and feeling ready to hire a hit man on someone, so you end up looking completely insane.

I did, however, manage to get away from it all for a few hours last night. I went to my watering hole with my cousin Kate, and we drank vodka collinses and sang karaoke until last call. Our karaoke guy called me “badass” after my last song, and this guy kept hitting on me, even though I kept reminding him that he’d met my boyfriend, and all of my friends at the bar kept talking about my boyfriend in front of him. Like Kate said, some guys never give up, even when it’s hopeless. It wouldn’t have been so annoying if the guy hadn’t inserted himself into every conversation and smoke break (even though he doesn’t smoke). Poor Mike’s little hottie is in high demand; a couple of weeks ago, a guy asked me out for coffee as I was leaving Barnes and Noble. It always amuses me when guys hit on me. I like the way I look, but I’m so used to ignoring the male species with my gaga eyes on Mike, that when I get hit on, I am always surprised.

Anyway, to make this post even longer and more ADHD, I’m going to be participating in #superbyseptember, a weight loss challenge started by Karen and brought to my attention by my friend Brooke. I just have to find a scale in my house and weigh myself, something I’m not exactly excited about doing. At this point, the cheeseburger baby now looks like I am carrying a real human baby and am somewhere in my second trimester. Since I have my mom’s side of the family’s curse — wherein all extra weight goes to our stomachs and asses — the extra twenty or so pounds I’ve gained from Seroquel and have continued to gain after quitting it from a massive intake of fast food and little to no exercise has indeed made me look like I’m now picking out clothes for a baby whom I now know the sex of. My mom is the only person who insists that I don’t look pregnant. Thank you for your dishonesty, Mom, but the mirror tells the truth, and so does everyone else who comes into contact with me and my baby bump.

Basically, I just have to weigh myself sometime this weekend — and fuck am I afraid to see; last time I weighed myself, I was 17lbs over my normal weight, which I’m sure has increased — and start getting fit. I’ve been saving money for a bike for some time now, so I think I’ll be buying it and a bike rack maybe this week. I’ll also need a scale in my house, since we don’t have one (though Noni has one downstairs). I want to stop ignoring the fact that I’ve gained so much weight and put it right in front of my face, where I can’t ignore it. A quick BMI check says that I’m just on the verge of being overweight — and that’s only using the weight I was last weighed at. I used to wonder how anyone overweight could let it happen, and now I see that it just happens. There are so many factors, that you can’t just pinpoint one thing. Seroquel is the biggest factor, but so is the fact that I stopped walking around so much and spend most of my time in front of the computer these days***.

So I am determined to lose some kind of weight this month using this challenge. Since I have a track record of losing weight unnecessarily, I’m not even sure what a healthy goal is for the month. I’m just going to stop eating fast food so much, ride my bike around some trails a few times a week, and go for a twenty minute walk every day, even if I just walk around the mall.

I know I’ve attempted to give up fast food before, and I failed horribly at it, but I just can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to give it up completely, though, because that’s apparently how I cave. I’m going to try to eat it only once a week, and try to make healthier choices (like Taco Bell instead of Burger King****).

I’m feeling kind of dubious about this, but I want to at least try it. If I fail, at least I tried, right?

PS: I severely need to go get my eye prescription updated. Someone please remind me to call the Walmart eye center place thingy on Monday so that I can start seeing the computer screen — and everything on the road — again.

*Yeah, Mike and Sandy and my cat count, but Lauren and I have tons of history and inside jokes that can’t be beat by some hot guy, funny girl, and pretty cat.

**Unless we’re talking underwear.

***Still, I mostly blame Seroquel, because I was pretty lazy before I started taking it and would probably still weigh around 118lbs if I hadn’t started.

****Is Taco Bell healthier? It seems healthier. I must research this.