Tag Archives: creative writing

Just do it, like Nike

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I spent Friday afternoon on the phone with Southern (the university I’ve been trying to attend since last winter). After graduation Thursday night, I felt determined; I wanted to get everything squared away so that I could definitely start classes in the fall. All work and no school really brings some perspective into your life; I was bored as hell and I suddenly missed the papers, the homework, the fresh new notebooks waiting to be used. (Okay, so I have an addiction to office supplies. Whatever.)

As I learned last winter, doing things for myself without my mom to hold my hand was no easy task. As I got transferred further and further down the line of humorless staff, I thought more and more about giving up. I couldn’t seem to get the help I needed and every person I talked to transferred me before I could get a sentence out of my mouth.

I didn’t give up, though. I didn’t break down like I did last winter when I found out that my schedule had been dropped because I couldn’t afford the higher tuition cost. After the last two years of putting everything into school, after hearing Jon Savoy‘s inspiring speech about his fifteen year commitment to his Associates degree at commencement, I didn’t want to waste any time.

I’m going to double major, in English: Creative Writing and Elementary Education (for grades K-6). I’m probably insane, but I want to do it. I don’t care how long it takes.

Growing up, I had several great elementary school teachers who made me want to be a teacher. Every day after school and homework, my sister and I would play school. She would be the teacher for one grade, and I would be the teacher for another grade. We both played each other’s students. We used actual textbooks that our school gave to us because they didn’t use them anymore. We printed worksheets and carefully planned lessons for our imaginary students. We wrote out math problems on black- and whiteboards. We took attendance on graphing paper from our great-grandmother. I loved every minute of it.

I don’t mind helping Mike’s little brother with his math homework. I love doing it. Even when Tony gets frustrated, I still feel calm and patient — even though I am the least patient person in the world when it comes to everything else. (Kids are my weakness. Heh.) I love playing games with my little cousin Katarina and reading to her. I love helping Tony with his spelling words and his English homework. I love coloring with my goddaughter Kaylene, or explaining to Katarina the difference between an orca and a shark.

I have always kind of wanted to be a teacher, but didn’t think I could because I am already a web designer. You already have a career, I would tell myself. You can’t do everything at once. Wait a few years and see if you still want to do this. Just wait.

But I figure, why the hell not? Why not now? Why do I have to just stick to one thing? I can do it all. I can do and be anything I want.

I’m not going to rush. I don’t expect to finish in just two years (since I transferred, I expected myself to be able to completely my Bachelor’s in another two years). I refuse to put any pressure on myself. I’ll take my time, and when it’s all over I’m going to walk across that stage again — with two more degrees.

I’m all about accomplishments these days. It feels so good to finally feel alive.

Bitching about nothing

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I don’t think I can sit here much longer but I need my Visual Basic professor to look at my programs!

Lately I’ve fallen ridiculously behind in VB, which I’d been sort of ahead in to begin with. At this point I’ve completely given up on trying to read the chapters, and have been printing out his lecture slides instead. I still have two and a half assignments to finish, and tonight he is giving us another one. At least I’m all caught up with Creative Writing (I just have to edit poems to hand in for my portfolio).

Between all of the pain I’ve been in lately and this maddening rush to catch up on school work, I’m beat. Pile on a few other personal things and I’m ready to hop on a plane to Florida. (Besides, it’s warm down there!) I like to say that I thrive under pressure, and normally I do, but right now I’d rather ignore certain things than face them like a man — um, woman.

As for something totally random, I managed to smash two of my fingers in the door of the Director of Student Activities’ office. My middle finger has a crescent shaped blood blister below my nail and it hurts. It’s kind of cool looking but it kind of grosses me out.

NaNoWriMo starts in less than ten days and I still need to finish my characters’ profile sheets and my outline. I wonder if my professors and boyfriend would be okay with it if I totally ignored everything else just so I can get ready to write? :D

Be careful what you wish for

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Between Tuesday and a few minutes ago, I’ve written three poems and revised “Death Magnetic” for Creative Writing. I also wrote up critiques for two classmates’ poems (two apiece). I am only halfway through one of the three chapters assigned this week. Class is at 5:30 tonight. Sigh.

Anyway, I posted “Nerves”, “But, Uh and Um” and “Headache”. I would love some constructive criticism on any of the poems I post, because every little bit helps (and I’m pretty sure I suck at writing poetry, so if someone could confirm that maybe I won’t have to write anymore of it).

I woke up at ten this morning and worked on The Cure Program for an hour. (Okay, less than an hour, but I was also researching different things as I wrote. Besides, Twitter doesn’t update itself!) I’m actually really pleased with the way it’s turning out. A seemingly minor — yet important — character has suddenly taken on a vibrancy of her own and has demanded to be given nine more chapters in the novel.

All I want to do is write — everything but poetry — and read. Funny, I wished that I could write more and now that I am I wish I could have specified. Heh.

I’m proud of myself, but I miss my hot chocolate.

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This weekend was not exactly the best. It wasn’t really the worst, either.

Right now I’m supposed to be working on the mailing list for Letters of Love. If only I could stay focused. (Maybe I should go get some sleep instead.)

I went and got hot chocolate with Sandy tonight and I’m really sad that it’s gone now.

I think that when I get my vacation time at work I will spend my week off doing nothing but writing and playing video games. I don’t do much of either anymore. Speaking of writing, I owe Professor Harding (for Creative Writing) two extra poems. He claims I am not writing enough poetry. He is an evil, evil man.

I learned a very hard lesson this weekend. It’s not easy to accept these kinds of things, especially not for me.

I am very, very proud of Letters of Love. (Now if only I could get the website’s design finished.) I just realized that it has been going strong for nearly eight months. That’s a really long time for something so new, especially on the internet. The group involved has not really changed from the beginning, and more and more new pen pals are joining every day. I’m really proud of myself for doing this. I don’t mean to sound egotistic. I am just very proud of myself and Letters of Love. I’m glad that it is still going strong and has been able to help so many people.

Talking, making plans

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I’ve been thinking since I talked to Nikki on Monday. We talked about school, and how she goes to Southern. She’s an English major there, and highly recommended the department. So it got me thinking.

I went online and looked at their programs, and they have a concentration in Creative Writing. It would probably be easy to transfer, too, since some of the requirements look the same as some of the classes I’ve taken at NVCC. New Haven is only thirty minutes away (I’d have to leave early, knowing my habits of perpetual lateness) and I could still live at home. I could probably get financial aid–see if FAFSA will still hook me up–and I could keep my job and still work part time.

Of course, that kills the plans of moving into my own place. And I’d have to have a reliable car if I’m going to be driving that far every day.

I was going to use the leftovers from this year’s FAFSA grant and buy that reliable car. If I want to go to Southern, I should get started as soon as possible–like, the spring semester. There goes that car. I could still save up for said car, but there goes any trips or the possibility of an apartment. Poof. Gone.

But Creative Writing. I would be going to school to read and write. What in the world could be better than that? (An apartment.) Besides, this gives me something to focus on after I have my Associate’s. I still have something to do. It won’t actually be like school, because I’ll be taking classes on how to write novels, short stories, plays and poetry. (Unless they make me take more math or some kind of science. BLEGH.)

Did I mention they have a literary magazine? NVCC has the once-a-year Fresh Ink. (I’m not too modest to admit that I won this year’s writing contest. “Moon Prayer” was published and won first place.) I could be on the staff for Folio and work at getting stuff published.

I love web design, but the more I think about it I want my full-time career to be in writing. Sure, web design will make a great side business. I can do both. I can do anything I want.

For the first time, I’m actually sure about something. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me! I was really stressed out about this. Now I’m going to call Southern when I get home from work and talk with them about their Creative Writing program and transferring in the spring. I can save up for a better car between now and then, and the rest of this year’s FAFSA can go to the spring semester.

I think I’m going to cry, I’m so relieved.