Today I'm gonna fly

This last week has just totally depleted my energy. Even though at times I faced many difficulties, I’d have to say this week probably defined how the rest of the semester will go.

Last Friday I started my field placement for my EDU-200 (Principles of Education) class. (It will also help for my SED-225 [Introduction to Exceptional Individuals] course, since I have to observe for one hour an inclusive classroom and write a paper about the teacher[s] working in that classroom.) I fell instantly and irrevocably in love with the students in that classroom. This Friday only strengthened that love, and strengthened my passion for becoming a teacher. I bought a Praxis PPST preparation book this afternoon and am fully prepared and committed to obtaining my certification. How could I not, after spending two amazing days with around twenty amazing young individuals? These kids rock — there is no other way to put it.

During this week I also spent a lot of time trying to better understand the content in my MAT-105 (Mathematics for Elementary Education I) class, because I barely passed our first test with a 65 and spent the last week really struggling with the material (mainly Base Five and Base Two, which are these fancy number systems designed to make mean spirited wannabe teachers remember how hard it was when they grill a little kid during multiplication and division lessons). I spent a night totally depressed, because I was convinced that I could not be a teacher if I didn’t get this. I kept telling myself, You can’t be a teacher if you don’t even know how to do long division. Once I snapped out of it and really tried to get a handle on it, I started doing much better. (It also helped to have a brief recap of how elementary students do long division and determine the remainder; I was literally combining the remainder technique with decimals because it’s been that long. I blame the calculator.)

I spent several days in excruciating pain, and still am struggling. It does not help that I can’t take my medication for it because Tramadol gets me so fucked up that I cannot function normally on it. I had a great day at the school today — again, those kids are freaking awesome — but the constant twinges and the tension pain in my shoulders and neck that results from the last few days of pain made it very difficult. I still can’t take anything tonight because I have class early tomorrow morning. At the very latest, I can take it tomorrow after I go shopping for Mike (tomorrow’s his birthday)!

I am sticking with my decision to participate in NaNoWriMo this year, although I am not sure how I am going to study for Praxis and do that much writing. However, I miss writing so much that I can’t help myself. The characters of my NaNo novel have become so real to me, and I can’t ignore them even if I tried. I honestly think this is going to be the best thing I’ve written yet, as long as I can be disciplined enough to do it (and as long as my body permits me to do it).

As crazy as everything has been, today made it all worth it. I’m just taking it all one step at a time, doing the best that I can. Hopefully I’ll have this same attitude during midterms! :D

Now to look forward to being on vacation this week, because I finally put in for my vacation at work. I’m hoping that I can go to the spa and get a massage during the week, since I still have that gift certificate my uncle gave me for my birthday. But seriously, getting to sleep in and do whatever I want for a whole week with only school as a responsibility? Sounds just fine to me.

Welcome back to elementary

This morning I went back to elementary school. I couldn’t get my hair to cooperate because of the heatwave, and my shirt kept slipping and showing my bra strap (which never happens with that particular shirt, so I blame the bra). I convinced myself that I would not get lost and, directions in hand, jumped on the highway on my trek to the town my school is in.

I found the school with little trouble, found a parking space right away, and for a moment looked at the building I was about to enter. All one level, from the outside it just looked like one long, skinny building. It looked nothing like the elementary school I had gone to, but I hadn’t expected it to. I went inside and found the main office right away. Everything stood out at me in bright, friendly colors. I felt a little out of place but not unwelcome; the school practically jumped up and down saying, “Hi Elizabeth!”

I stepped into the main office shyly, feeling all eyes on me. “Hello,” said the secretary.

“Hi,” I said. “My name’s Elizabeth Barone. I’m here to see Mr. Johnson*.”

“He’s in a meeting,” she said. “Is he expecting you?”

“Yes. I’m from Southern.” I looked at the two secretaries anxiously. Had I just drove down here for nothing?

“Your last name?” The second secretary asked.

Just then, a relatively young guy in a nice dark suit came into the room. “Mr. Johnson’s in a meeting,” he told me. “He let me know she was coming,” he told the secretaries. “Hi,” he said to me. “I’m Mr. Valdez*.”

He led me to a comfortable conference room and we sat down. We briefly talked about my program at Southern and my EDU-200 course, my grade preference, and my preference for an inclusive classroom (classroom with general education kids and special needs kids, integrated). I told him I didn’t have a grade preference, but that I definitely needed an inclusive classroom for my SED-225 class.

“I have a classroom for you,” he said, his brown eyes lighting up. I liked him instantly. He was warm, friendly, and I could tell that he just loved his job. “It’s first grade,” he said.

I nodded vigorously. I had purposely not picked a certain grade because, honestly, I’m not yet sure which grade I’d like to teach. I’m kind of leaning toward fourth or fifth, but I think the lower grades would be fun too. (Maybe I could just teach a different grade every year, and that’ll solve my indecisiveness!)

“It’s Mrs. Harkins’s class, and it’s an inclusive class. A few of the kids go out to the resource room.” He handed me back my paperwork. “C’mon, I’ll give you a tour.”

He led me around the school, bringing me into all of their inclusive classrooms and introducing me to the teachers. Everyone greeted me warmly, all genuinely happy to see me. The kids looked up at me with bright, curious eyes. I smiled back at them. (One of them made a face at me at one point. Heh.)

We watched a sixth grade classroom working on decimals and fractions with Skittles. Mr. Valdez knelt down by one student’s desk and helped him with his problem. I started to panic a little, as I’m horrible with decimals and fractions, and if he asked me to help another student, I would be screwed. Fortunately for me, Mr. Valdez worked with the boy for a few minutes until he got it, and then stood up. We left the classroom, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

“I always had such a hard time with fractions and decimals,” I said casually as we walked down the hall. “I’m trying to figure out how to explain it to my students.”

“Sometimes, the best teachers are the ones who had trouble because they understand what it’s like to struggle.”

I nodded. “Exactly.”

We came to the gym, where a class was lined up to leave. A line of girls were taking turns at the water fountain, and a line of boys waited for their turn at the gym doors.

“We’re having trouble with Ian*,” one of the teachers said. “He won’t come with us and he almost ran out.”

Mr. Valdez straightened his shoulders and nodded. “I’ll go talk to him.” He signaled for me to wait, and disappeared into the gym.

I stood, watching the girls take turns and then line up by the next set of doors.

“Quickly, quickly,” said their other teacher. “Boys, stay right here. Your eyes are on me.” Some of the kids took their time, while some of them lined up right away. She began counting to five for each kid at the water fountain, sort of turning it into a game. As the boys lined up, some of them dillydallying, she called out, “Boys, I’m not happy.”

Whatever Ian had done had upset the entire order of the class, and now she had to regain control. I listened to her tone of voice, paid attention to what she said. Miraculously, order was restored.

Mr. Valdez came out, holding a little boy wearing very baggy clothes by the hand. The boy’s left ear was pierced with a thin golden hoop, and he stood quietly next to the assistant principal.

“Ian, you want a drink? C’mon, buddy,” he said, leading Ian to the water fountain. The two lines of students began to stroll down the hall, their teacher in the rear. “Okay, that’s enough. Go get in line.” Ian continued to drink. “Ian, they’re leaving you. That’s enough.” Ian drank a little more, than turned from the water fountain. He started to run toward his classmates, stopped, and then started to go down the hall. Mr. Valdez blocked him, caught him gently by the cloth of his baggy shoulder, then led him toward his classmates.

We stopped in another classroom, a resource room, and then came back to my classroom — Mrs. Harkins’s first grade. Mrs. Harkins was absent, and in her place was a substitute teacher. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen a guy as a substitute. I gave him a lot of credit.

Mr. Valdez introduced me to the kids, who all said hello. I waved and said hi back.

“Ms. Barone is going to help Mrs. Harkins sometimes,” Mr. Valdez said. “You guys are the best first grade class. They even won a reward,” he told me. They all smiled proudly. “Who can tell Ms. Barone what your reward is?”

Most of their hands shot up. Mr. Valdez looked at me. “I can pick?” I asked. He nodded. My eyes fell on a little girl with big brown eyes. I picked her.

“A party,” she said quietly.

“A party!” I tossed up my hands. “Wow!”

A few kids called out. “An ice cream party,” said one. “And five minutes of recess,” another added.

“Now, you know Mrs. Harkins doesn’t like you guys calling out,” Mr. Valdez reminded them. “What else did you win?” Another kid raised their hand. “Yes?”

“Five minutes of recess,” he said.

“An extra five minutes of recess,” Mr. Valdez said.

“Oh, wow,” I said, hoping I hadn’t caused too much trouble.

A few minutes later, we left the classroom. A couple of adults and a little boy came up to us. Ian was in trouble again. I followed Mr. Valdez to Ian’s classroom, where he took the little boy out of the room. I followed them, watching Mr. Valdez lead Ian to the main office. Ian walked with a cocky swagger — too cocky for a six-year-old. I watched the way his baggy clothes fell around his little frame, and I felt sorry for him. Here was a kid whose parents probably paid him little attention and maybe spoiled him a little too.

“Ian, you’ve gotta get your behavior together. We can’t be doing this every day,” Mr. Valdez said. We entered the main office, and he sat Ian down in a chair in a small adjoining room. “Now, you’re going to sit right here in this chair until I come get you. You understand me?”

“Yes,” little Ian said.

Mr. Valdez came back out into the main office conference room. We talked briefly about the kids’ music, art, and gym classes, and then my schedule. I said goodbye to him and the secretaries, and then went out to the parking lot, feeling buoyant. I had a good feeling about my school.


*Names have been changed for privacy