Tag Archives: english major

Just do it, like Nike

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I spent Friday afternoon on the phone with Southern (the university I’ve been trying to attend since last winter). After graduation Thursday night, I felt determined; I wanted to get everything squared away so that I could definitely start classes in the fall. All work and no school really brings some perspective into your life; I was bored as hell and I suddenly missed the papers, the homework, the fresh new notebooks waiting to be used. (Okay, so I have an addiction to office supplies. Whatever.)

As I learned last winter, doing things for myself without my mom to hold my hand was no easy task. As I got transferred further and further down the line of humorless staff, I thought more and more about giving up. I couldn’t seem to get the help I needed and every person I talked to transferred me before I could get a sentence out of my mouth.

I didn’t give up, though. I didn’t break down like I did last winter when I found out that my schedule had been dropped because I couldn’t afford the higher tuition cost. After the last two years of putting everything into school, after hearing Jon Savoy‘s inspiring speech about his fifteen year commitment to his Associates degree at commencement, I didn’t want to waste any time.

I’m going to double major, in English: Creative Writing and Elementary Education (for grades K-6). I’m probably insane, but I want to do it. I don’t care how long it takes.

Growing up, I had several great elementary school teachers who made me want to be a teacher. Every day after school and homework, my sister and I would play school. She would be the teacher for one grade, and I would be the teacher for another grade. We both played each other’s students. We used actual textbooks that our school gave to us because they didn’t use them anymore. We printed worksheets and carefully planned lessons for our imaginary students. We wrote out math problems on black- and whiteboards. We took attendance on graphing paper from our great-grandmother. I loved every minute of it.

I don’t mind helping Mike’s little brother with his math homework. I love doing it. Even when Tony gets frustrated, I still feel calm and patient — even though I am the least patient person in the world when it comes to everything else. (Kids are my weakness. Heh.) I love playing games with my little cousin Katarina and reading to her. I love helping Tony with his spelling words and his English homework. I love coloring with my goddaughter Kaylene, or explaining to Katarina the difference between an orca and a shark.

I have always kind of wanted to be a teacher, but didn’t think I could because I am already a web designer. You already have a career, I would tell myself. You can’t do everything at once. Wait a few years and see if you still want to do this. Just wait.

But I figure, why the hell not? Why not now? Why do I have to just stick to one thing? I can do it all. I can do and be anything I want.

I’m not going to rush. I don’t expect to finish in just two years (since I transferred, I expected myself to be able to completely my Bachelor’s in another two years). I refuse to put any pressure on myself. I’ll take my time, and when it’s all over I’m going to walk across that stage again — with two more degrees.

I’m all about accomplishments these days. It feels so good to finally feel alive.

I have no idea what I was going to write about

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Growing up, I never really had to do anything for myself, by myself. Usually my mom would be there to help me out and take care of things — like doctors appointments and school — for me. Even after I turned 18, my mom still helped me take care of all that stuff. If I did have to do something on my own, I never went in blind. It was always something I’d already done with her.

Recently I’ve become more independent. Yeah, my parents are still there to help me and support me, but most of the time it’s me making the phone calls, me making sure everything is okay.

It’s empowering, and a little scary.

Like on Thursday. I went to SCSU to meet with my advisor, register, take my picture for my photo ID, and all of that fun new-student stuff.

It was really weird. First, SCSU is a lot bigger than NVCC (the community college I just graduated* and transferred from). Luckily, everything I needed to do was all in the same building. It was also a little confusing, because of the transferred credits and my financial aid situation.

I did find out that I can use my financial aid at SCSU. I just had to login to the FAFSA site and change my school code. So I’ll probably be taking two or three classes instead of just one.

This also gives me more freedom to put money into the Sunfire! I’m probably going to get it registered tomorrow, and hopefully can get the shifter problem fixed soon. Oh. I didn’t write about that.

The Pontiac Sunfire has just a couple minor problems. The power steering pump needed to be replaced, which is all done; now Dad or I just have to return the tool so I can get my rental deposit back. There is some damage on the passenger side, but it’s nothing that Dad can’t fix later on. Also, there’s something rattling in the front but Dad said that wasn’t a problem. He can look at it and fix it.

The main issue is the shifter. Right now it doesn’t go into Park, so the key can’t be shut off. This obviously drains the battery and — wait, did I already write about this?

Anyway, it’s nothing that can’t be fixed. I got it registered yesterday, so if Dad can’t figure out the shifter deal I can just take it to a mechanic. The downside of it being registered is that it cost me $149. Luckily I still have to return the tool we rented at Autozone and I also get the core charge back for the power steering pump, so I’m gonna have another $40 once I do that. In the meantime, I’ve got a little over $20 in my checking, $14 in my savings and Mom forced $20 on me after I stupidly admitted I was broke. (I got my stubbornness from her.)

I have no idea where this post was going — I originally started writing it a few days ago and then never published it — but Sarcastica wanted to read it, so here it is.

And for something completely random: I took an Ultraset — the painkiller my neurologist prescribed for me to try — about half an hour ago and so far don’t feel any different. I’m still getting twinges of pain.

GRR.

*Although I’ve finished all of my course requirements and transferred, I haven’t received my diploma yet. The ceremony is in the spring, so I’m assuming I’ll get my diploma mailed to me before then. Hopefully.

Talking, making plans

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I’ve been thinking since I talked to Nikki on Monday. We talked about school, and how she goes to Southern. She’s an English major there, and highly recommended the department. So it got me thinking.

I went online and looked at their programs, and they have a concentration in Creative Writing. It would probably be easy to transfer, too, since some of the requirements look the same as some of the classes I’ve taken at NVCC. New Haven is only thirty minutes away (I’d have to leave early, knowing my habits of perpetual lateness) and I could still live at home. I could probably get financial aid–see if FAFSA will still hook me up–and I could keep my job and still work part time.

Of course, that kills the plans of moving into my own place. And I’d have to have a reliable car if I’m going to be driving that far every day.

I was going to use the leftovers from this year’s FAFSA grant and buy that reliable car. If I want to go to Southern, I should get started as soon as possible–like, the spring semester. There goes that car. I could still save up for said car, but there goes any trips or the possibility of an apartment. Poof. Gone.

But Creative Writing. I would be going to school to read and write. What in the world could be better than that? (An apartment.) Besides, this gives me something to focus on after I have my Associate’s. I still have something to do. It won’t actually be like school, because I’ll be taking classes on how to write novels, short stories, plays and poetry. (Unless they make me take more math or some kind of science. BLEGH.)

Did I mention they have a literary magazine? NVCC has the once-a-year Fresh Ink. (I’m not too modest to admit that I won this year’s writing contest. “Moon Prayer” was published and won first place.) I could be on the staff for Folio and work at getting stuff published.

I love web design, but the more I think about it I want my full-time career to be in writing. Sure, web design will make a great side business. I can do both. I can do anything I want.

For the first time, I’m actually sure about something. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me! I was really stressed out about this. Now I’m going to call Southern when I get home from work and talk with them about their Creative Writing program and transferring in the spring. I can save up for a better car between now and then, and the rest of this year’s FAFSA can go to the spring semester.

I think I’m going to cry, I’m so relieved.