Tag Archives: freaking bookworm

Review | The Walking Dead #91, by Robert Kirkman

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The Walking Dead #91 (November 2011)I read this issue a few days ago, but my scanner was acting up and I needed a little time to digest this one, anyway.

Warning: Potential spoilers ahead! Proceed with caution.

♦

Slowly but surely, Andrea and Rick have been building a relationship. I’ve always said these two would make a fantastic couple, but I loved Andrea and Dale. (Dale. I miss Dale. And Tyreese. Sigh.) They finally kissed last issue, but in #91 Rick told Andrea it would never work. He gave her the whole, “I’m a loner. Everyone I love dies,” spiel. It would normally be kind of cliche, but under the circumstances, it was a little heartbreaking. I practically yelled at the panel: “Come on, Rick. Just let it go. You and Andrea deserve whatever little happiness you can get! No one is safe, so you might as well!”

Andrea started talking to Dale’s hat — remind you of anyone? — but quickly stopped herself. It looks like she may be finally starting to move on… but I’m not sure it will end up being Rick.

Rick sort of has his hands full, though, so I can understand. He went to say goodnight to Carl and admonished him to conserve power, but Carl freaked out on him a little. The kid is dealing with a lot, true, but his statement about Rick not knowing what it’s like to be without an eye is kind of untrue; Rick has been working with only one hand for about six months at this point. (Has it been six months? It may actually have been less time…) They actually have a lot in common now, and it’s interesting to see a father and son both handicapped and still going strong. (I’m sure Carl will get back on his feet and regain his fire soon. The kid is tough!) It will be interesting to see more parallels of their characters.

Sophia is another tough kid. She finally admitted to Glenn and Maggie that she knows they aren’t her biological parents, and just likes to pretend they are in order to maintain some semblance of normal in her world. I honestly wasn’t too thrilled with this sequence, though; instead of Glenn and Maggie talking to her a bit, they kind of brushed it off. “We know, dear. It’s okay. We still love you.” This issue was kind of jam packed, but still. I would have liked to see a longer dialogue between the three of them.

#91 ended with a panel of the community through someone’s binoculars, and then cut to a splash page of someone standing on top of a hill watching them. The someone in question was outfitted with several weapons, camouflage clothing, and a knit cap over long hair. It was impossible to see their face, though. My imagination has been going wild and running through all of the possibilities.

It could be the Governor, but then again, we last saw him get fed to a pack of zombies. He’s probably not the stranger in question.

It’s hard to tell whether the commando looking person is a man or woman. Their nose is kind of big, but that doesn’t mean anything. It could be Lori, out for revenge. We don’t necessarily know that she died.

It could also be Merle. I’m probably stretching it here, but it would be interesting to see a villain crossover from the TV series.

I’ve even considered one of the cannibals from just after the prison arc.

It may even just be someone completely new. There isn’t even a way to tell whether their intentions are good or bad. It really sucks having to wait a month.

Who do you think the stranger is? Do you think they’re friend or foe?

I Need to Stop Digitally Hoarding if I'm Going to be a Writer

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I realized this last night as I flipped through the pages and pages of usernames and passwords for different online accounts that I have. I can guarantee that I don’t even use half of them, and another 40% of them I probably only use once in a great while, especially if I need to procrastinate something. Still, I can hardly bear to get rid of these accounts. A perfect example is the Facebook account I deactivated. I know how to fully delete it thanks to Matt, but can’t bring myself to do it. What if I do want to use it again? I ask myself. Then the facebook.com/elizawhat username might be taken and that’s my name. It’s MINE. I didn’t really even use the thing, and yet I can’t convince myself that it’s okay to delete it forever. The same goes for my old @elizawhat, @freakingbookwrm, and @lettersoflove Twitter accounts, and a bunch of other accounts. Those names are MINE, dammit. What if I want them later and someone has taken them?!

I’m a digital hoarder.

I’d really like to simplify my digital life. I’ve been wanting to for a while, but while I knew it was the right decision, I still had a really hard time letting go. I try hard to be honest here and to be honest with myself, so here’s the truth: I have many websites and different social accounts. I almost always create them on a whim, and then I feel guilty for ignoring them, so I feel obligated to keep them, but only end up using them occasionally. A perfect example is Letters of Love. Don’t get me wrong. I’m very, very proud of that site. The thing is, I created it during a time when I really needed it, and I don’t need it anymore. Because I don’t need it anymore, I don’t have the passion I once had to keep it going. At the same time, though, I can’t bear to let someone else take it over because it’s mine. It’s my baby. Call me possessive, I don’t care. I just can’t let go, and I can’t bear to leave it sitting there collecting digital dust.

I also started Freaking Bookworm, and then fell way off the book review bandwagon. The thing is, I feel too obligated; I feel like I have to review every single book and comic that I read, so then I feel overwhelmed and just don’t review or write anything there. Plus, once I found Goodreads I started to wonder what the hell was the point in doing both. I argue with myself in my head all the time: “Goodreads is just a social network. One day it could disappear. Freaking Bookworm is my site and won’t disappear unless I want it to.” “Yes, but why update both? It’s a pain in the ass to review the same book twice, and repetitive as hell. How can I possibly write two different reviews about the same book without repeating myself?!”

I have a different problem with this blog. I enjoy writing here. I don’t ever feel obligated. However, instead of writing stories like I should be doing, I end up writing posts here. Instead of doing the dishes or cleaning or something else productive, I write draft upon draft that I will probably never actually publish. I regularly have to clean out my drafts because they’re either no longer relevant, half finished, or just too much information to post publicly. I know that I need to let go of this blog and focus more on my fiction writing, but dammit, it’s hard. It’s hard because it’s a security blanket, but it’s also hard because I know there are a lot of you who like this little space and I hate to let you down.

Still, I need to simplify. I don’t want my digital life to resemble the homes we see on Hoarders. I’m sick of leaving half finished projects behind me. I’m disgusted with myself for wasting so much time online when I should really be honing my writing skills; I say all the time that I want to be a writer, but instead of using that time to actually write and improve, I sit online. (I should say, though, that this morning I wrote a story before doing anything else, other than checking my bank account’s balance and a few other quick, important things. I’m damn proud of myself.)

I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet. I mean, I have a pretty good idea, but I’m still thinking about it. Mostly, I’m thinking about the execution. Basically, I want to embark on an adventure next year. (Because holy shit, in a couple of months it will be next year.) I’ve seen another writer, Deanna Knippling, do it and she’s learning a lot and getting a lot out of it. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, pretty much since she first started posting about her experiences with independent epublishing. My first thought was, Damn this is cool. I wish I could do it. A few weeks ago I thought, Maybe I could actually do it. Since last night I’ve been thinking, I want to try it.

Since my writers’ group started in September, I’ve been trying — well, okay, I haven’t been trying too hard because I’ve been blogging here instead — to write one short story a week, that way I’d have something new every week for my writers’ group. So far, I’ve written two, and that’s counting today’s story. I’ve had a lot of writers’ block, but it’s getting better finally. I’m also gearing up to do NaNoWriMo this year in November. Coincidentally, elizawhat.com is up for renewal in November. Now, granted, I’m pretty good about sticking to the writing during NaNoWriMo. The rest of the year, you can forget it. I don’t want to be like that anymore. I want to be disciplined, dammit. I’ll be completely honest with you: I’m thinking about not renewing this blog. I’m also thinking about cutting down on all of my online accounts, quite severely. At the top of the list are Tumblr and Formspring. I’m keeping my @elizabethbarone Twitter, but the other ones are probably going, too. I’m also going to make myself permanently delete my Facebook.

I need to do this. It’s hard to think about it, and it’s going to be hard to do it, but I need to. I’ve known this for a long time.

I just hope you won’t be too mad at me, or too disappointed. I’d really like to give you a new short story every month. I have a ton that need to be edited so that they won’t suck when you read them, but I’d also like to write a new one every week, for real.

Now, I’m still thinking about all of this, but I’ve slept on it and still feel the same. Usually, when I need to make a decision, I sleep on it because I rarely feel the same the next day. As hard a time I have making decisions, I also tend to go completely the other way at times and make rash decisions. Today I still feel like this needs to be done.

However, if I do delete this blog, there will be a new one. You’ll just have to wait and see it. It’s going to be awesome. And there will definitely still be Liz’s Anatomy. The rest I’m not so sure about.

Why Every Writer Should Read A CLOCKWORK ORANGE

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I’ve heard many writers say how in love with the English language they are. While I had a certain appreciation for it — it constructs my stories, after all — I couldn’t quite understand their profound love for words and letters in the American English language. I first started to grasp an understanding when I watched the scene in Donnie Darko where Drew Barrymore’s character tells Donnie about the phrase “cellar door.” (Skip to 7:41 and stop at 8:25 for the scene.)

In that moment, I realized that “cellar door” does sound really beautiful — at least, when Drew Barrymore says it. Beyond that, though, I didn’t give English much more thought (except for when I couldn’t remember a certain word and had to harass everyone around me while writing or Google it – in vain because you certainly can’t search for a word you can’t remember). When I started reading A Clockwork Orange, my brain kind of froze. Words like “droog” were easy enough to decipher, but the rest of it felt almost like reading a foreign language at times, especially when traipsing through a thick forest of slang word after slang word in a single sentence. However, I pressed on, mostly because I’d spent almost fourteen bucks on it, but also because I knew that if I could get past the slang, there would be some good stuff underneath it.

I had no idea just how good.

After reading the first thirty or so pages, I began to soak up the slang without even really realizing it. I then began to analyze the slang words themselves, which led me to think about the English language in general. It’s now amazing to me that a simple letter, like P, can be used in so many different ways. Put it in front of a vowel, like A, and it’s a hard letter: “pace.” Put it in front of an H and it becomes softer, like an F: “phony.” Add an S and a Y after it and it becomes softer still: “psychic.” If you put it in front of a T, it becomes completely silent and hard again: “pterodactyl.” The more I thought about this, the more amazed I became. Author Anthony Burgess plays with this last combination in particular with the slang word “ptitsa,” meaning “young woman.” It seemed humorous to me because, with the P silent and the T taking over, the word sounds a lot like “tit,” and young woman are known for their perky breasts, huhuhuh.

He also plays with language in such a way that you think, “Why don’t we all use it that way?” For example, the main character Alex calls elderly people “starry.” Technically, it makes no sense, but it feels right. “Smeck,” “tolchock,” and “gulliver” — that is, “laugh,” “punch,” and “head” — feel right, too, as in “I had a smeck after giving him a tolchock on the gulliver.” Now 119 pages in, I’m so fully immersed in this language that Alex’s world feels vivid in a way that I can “viddy” everything going on without consciously translating the slang using context. It’s the kind of novel that I would without hesitation begin reading again the second I finish it.

I now realize how immensely important language is in any written work, but especially in my own works of fiction. Depending on the language you choose, your piece will either live or die in the eyes of its audience. Anyone who calls themselves a writer — be it copywriter, novelist, poet, playwright, journalist, or even casual blogger — should read A Clockwork Orange to gain a better understanding of just how important language is.

No More Picking: Day 2

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My little scabbed pimple is still scabbed!

My little scabbed pimple is still scabbed!

Technically it’s now Day 3, but I was out at the grocery store and Taco Bell trying to get me a couple of fixes: ice cream and a Crunchwrap Supreme.

I think Day 2 was just as hard as Day 1. I’m still catching myself doing it without thinking. In some ways, it might have been worse, because a few times I went to do it on purpose and ended up rubbing the spot with my fingertips instead. Rubbing it is helping, because I’m not picking at it but still get to do something to it. I don’t know if that makes sense, but it makes sense to me.

It definitely hasn’t been easy, but I’m proud of myself for making it halfway through!

To keep myself occupied, I spent the day nursing my six-day headache, reorganizing and cleaning files, and setting up a play by post RPG.

I went to bed Thursday night with the headache and woke up with it again, so I started to freak out a little. It can’t be good to have a headache for six days, even if there’s some reprieve occasionally. So, I went to WebMD and put my symptoms into their Symptom Checker: headache, dizziness, and forgetfulness. Some of the diagnoses that came up only made a little sense, and then I saw “heat exhaustion.” It turns out that the fainting episode I had last week — the same day I got my Fievel tattoo – was most likely from heat exhaustion, and this week I’ve been suffering the aftereffects.

Basically, last Tuesday night I fainted while hanging out with some friends. At the time, I thought it had been because of low blood sugar, but after reading the article on WebMD, I’m convinced it was heat exhaustion. I hadn’t really been drinking a lot of fluids, other than an iced coffee. It was also a super hot day — we’ve been having a heatwave — and the AC at the shop couldn’t keep up with it. All throughout my tattoo, I dripped sweat. I am not normally a sweater, but I had sweat dripping down my face and probably soaking through my shirt. It was attractive. After I got the tattoo done, I had two Jack and Coke’s at the bar with Sean. About an hour after the drinks, I fainted. My blood pressure dropped, all of the color went out of my face, and I hit the floor. Luckily I had someone to catch me, but it was still scary because I didn’t remember fainting, and didn’t even remember feeling like I was going to faint.

WebMD said the symptoms of heat exhaustion are fainting, dizziness, thirst, and headache, and that you can feel shitty for about a week after the episode. As soon as I put it all together and realized that was what was going on, I did my best to stay inside and drink extra fluids. I’m feeling better now, but occasionally I can feel the headache threatening. I really hope it doesn’t come back again, because I’ve tried everything at this point and am ready to just be a baby and go to the ER if it does.

Since I’m unemployed and bored out of my mind, I spent a good two to three hours going through, reorganizing, and backing up files across my laptop, two flash drives, and external hard drive. I cleared one of the flash drives so that I can use it for school things. You know. If the school ever sends me my damn acceptance letter. I also fretted about said unemployment and decided that this weekend I am hardcore job hunting and someone is going to hire me, dammit.

Also because I’m unemployed and bored, I then got an idea for a play by post RPG — which is not the dice-rolling Dungeons and Dragons kind of crap you probably think it is; it’s more like writing a novel with a bunch of people on a forum — and started setting it up. It’s not done yet, but you can check it out and let me know if you’re interested. If I wasn’t procrastinating, I’d put this time into editing Sade on the Wall, but here we are.

I also read and wrote a review for Serenity: The Shepherd’s Tale. If you’re a Firefly/Serenity fan, you should go read my review and comment on it so we can geek out. :D

I guess it was kind of a productive day, even though I stayed in my pajamas and didn’t comb my hair.

How was your day? If you’re doing a four-day challenge like mine, how’s it going?

Letting go and moving forward

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Sometimes, in order to move forward, we have to leave things behind. It’s never easy to leave these things behind, but by doing so, we become lighter so that we can hold more of what is just ahead.

That’s how I interpret the adage, “When one door closes, another opens.”

I’m sure you can guess where this is going.

I have been blogging personally for about ten years. Maybe more, but I feel old if I think about it too hard. I started off in Diaryland or My Own Journal or something like that, moved to LiveJournal, and then found WordPress and have been using it ever since. I’ve always written about my life and what I was going through in a physical, paper journal, but I found blogging to be more rewarding. I made a lot of friends while sharing my life, and met a lot of people going through similar things. It was comforting, knowing that there was always someone out there listening.

I used to look at my blog as a security blanket. I couldn’t go a day without writing in it. More and more, though, I’m finding myself going days without even thinking about it, and when I do finally think about my blog, I realize I have nothing I feel the need to write about. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time — even before I mentioned anything — and I’ve decided that it’s time to move on.

Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against personal blogging. I’ve just come to a point in my life where I have no use for having my own personal blog. I want to focus on the adventure ahead of me: going back to school for my B.A. in English so that I can read and write for a living. I want to spend my time reading and writing, and not worrying about updating my personal blog or Twitter account so that people don’t think I’ve fallen off of the planet. I want to spend more time nurturing Freaking Bookworm, because I’ve finally found my “niche” in the blogosphere.

I want to shed the things I no longer need or use so that I can make room for the things ahead. I want to simplify, instead of collecting.

I’ve felt lighter ever since I made this decision.

I’m not just shedding my blog, though. I’m cutting down on all of the domains I own. I’m not using more than half of them, so I’m letting them just expire. I’m letting go of my @elizawhat account on Twitter and just using @freakingbookwrm. I’m looking for someone to take over Letters of Love. I’m getting rid of all nine-hundred of my email addresses, and just using liz@freakingbookworm.com. I’m considering deleting my Facebook, too.

I feel so good about all of this, even though it does make me a little sad. There is so much ahead, though, that I don’t feel empty the way I would have if I’d made this decision a few months ago.

I’ve already set up my new email address, but I don’t have a definite date yet for when I’m killing everything else. You all know where to find me, though, and of course, I know where to find you.