A couple of people have asked about my hosting bill. Since it’s kind of difficult to explain over Twitter and texts, I’ll try to explain it here.

I use Host Gator, which through some trial and error I’ve found to be the most reliable web host, and their prices are awesome, too. I have the Business Plan, which lets me host multiple domains and gives me the option to have an SSL certificate, if I needed it. (Basically, an SSL lets you create a secure connection to the server, so that you, for example, could set up a store online. Since I am — was? — in the web design business, I thought it might come in handy at some point.) The Business Plan is $14.95 a month. When I set up my account, I paid six months in advance (because I prefer to have it all taken care of as far ahead of time as I can). Altogether, it came to $89.70.

On the first, I’ll be billed $89.70, for another six months. Initially, I was just waiting for payment from a couple of clients. As of last night, however, I’m now unemployed*. (Wheee! Except not.) Either way, for the last few months, I’ve been struggling to pay all of my bills: car insurance, student loan repayment, gym membership, and doctors’ appointments. Since I was doing the freelance/self-employed/contractor thingy, every paycheck was obsessively budgeted. Unfortunately, when you’re at the mercy of waiting for a client to send out a check, you can budget all you want, but you inevitably run out of money and have to wait for that next check. Or at least, I did. Every time a specific bill date rolled around, I’d start panicking because I didn’t know if the next check would arrive in time for me to deposit it and pay the bill (or bills). I’ve asked my different doctors if they could bill me so many times, it’s a miracle they didn’t ask me to just leave (considering they all have policies that copays are due at the time of visit).

Anyway. (Whoo, tangent.) Because I’ve been struggling to pay each bill, it just makes sense to let this go for now. It’s only hosting. They’re only websites. I’ve also canceled my gym membership. Again, it’s only the gym. My car insurance and student loan repayments are much more important. (Not that I drive the car; I has no money for gas.)

I did think about canceling my current hosting plan and changing it to a less expensive plan, but again, I can’t afford even the important stuff, so it’s a lot smarter to cut out the extras. (The next plan down is the Baby Plan, at $9.95 a month. I could go down further, with the Hatchling Plan at $8.95 a month, but you only get one domain with that plan.)

Simply put: I need to cut out as many extras as possible right now, until I have a steady income. (When I first wrote about shutting my sites down, I was looking for supplemental income.)

A few people have offered to help me out with this bill, which was surprising and so, so sweet of you, but even if I did pay for another month of hosting, I’d still be in the same position next month. See what I mean? I’d much rather cancel it for now, and once I have found a new job and am not hyperventilating about how I’m going to pay for anything, I can have my websites and gym membership back**.

I’ll be honest: it definitely sucked to cancel my gym membership, and it’s going to be pretty sucky to not have my digital portfolio and other sites online for a while. But I had many offers for employment while I was working that I turned down because I liked where I was, so I’m confident that I’ll find something relatively soon. (It’s a good thing I’m registered with that freelancing agency.)

In short, I’m fine. Broke, yes, but I’ve got a lot of good things going on:

• It’s nothing new, but Mike is my rock. He’s been so good to me these last twenty-four or so hours. Last night (before we got the news about Konner and before I lost my job), he took me out to my favorite pizza place to cheer me up. I had no idea he was trying to cheer me up; he just told me he wanted to try their pizza, since he’d never had it before. He is sneaky and wonderful and I’m going to marry him (in case I don’t say that enough).
• Robbie (Mike’s brother) and I are working on a mini graphic novel. He’s a very talented artist, and I’m stoked to be working with him. I’m currently writing up an outline of the storyline we came up with, and will start on the script once we’ve fine-tuned the outline.
• I have finished reading through the first draft of Sade On the Wall, and am getting ready to outline the second draft.
• I have a wonderful family and extended family.
• There’s a roof over my head and I’m far from starving.

So you see, I might be broke, but I’m actually pretty rich. I know that sounds so cheesy, but it’s true.

*I’m probably not going to be blogging about the specifics, because it was a family business and I have family who reads this, but I will say that it wasn’t my choice. Ironically, I was looking for a part-time retail job on the weekends to supplement my freelance income, so I guess now I’m looking for something full-time. Funny how that works.

**When I canceled my gym membership yesterday, I still had a job. The guy at the gym asked for my reason for canceling, and because I’m-freelance-and-broke-at-the-moment was too long of an explanation, I just told him I was unemployed. I feel like I kind of jinxed myself.