Tag Archives: graduation woes

Finally, things are going my way

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9

You know those days were it seems like everything bad possible can happen and it keeps on happening? Today was like that, but the polar opposite: I got smacked in the face with a bunch of good shit.

As soon as I got out of work I stopped at my house to grab that Academic Advising Form. I went to the ATM and took out $400 — not for a bribe; I didn’t up needing that kind of leverage — and stopped at Barnes and Noble for a gift card. Then I went to NVCC and found the Dean’s office. Her secretary said she was at lunch and would be back any minute, and coincidentally the secretary had just been on the phone with the Counseling Center discussing me and the Academic Advising Forms.

The Dean came back and we sat down with all of the copies. She looked at my form and confirmed that my advisor had told me to take the wrong course. Then, she said she would email the Registrar and have them waive that class. I’m graduating.

After that, I drove through a ton of traffic to get home and Dad called me. He told me to meet Vinny, the guy selling the Pontiac Sunfire, so he could sign the title over to me and I could pay him. He handed me the title, I handed him the $400, and not even the crazy traffic could kill my buzz. I have a better car.

On top of all that, tonight is the last night that Mike will be doing 3rd shift. He’ll be doing early mornings until the new year, and then he’s going to look for a better job. I get my Michael back.

Everything is falling into place, instead of falling apart.

Now it’s time to get ready for the holidays…

It's beginning to look a lot like ridiculous

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6

I’ve got mixed feelings right now. Part of me is really happy and excited. Another part is a little anxious. The other part is mad.

I finally got in touch with the Dean of Academic Affairs today. It turns out that she was out sick last week. I spoke with her over the phone and she said that if I could provide proof — an Academic Advising Form that my advisor wrote the class down on and signed — she would let me graduate. Voila, I have the form! I’m going to meet with her tomorrow to give her the form and take care of whatever paperwork or whatever is necessary.

The bad news is, because I gave up last night, I’ve got to get as much Visual Basic done as possible before midnight tonight. Kind of makes me want to kick myself for not at least trying.

I also might be getting a better car. It’s a 1998 Pontiac Sunfire and the guy will give it to me for $400. I have to go look at it tomorrow with Dad to assess some minor damage and a couple things that are wrong with it. If Dad thinks he can fix the few things that are wrong, and I like the car, I’m getting it.

The downside of things is that tonight I found out a couple certain family members were talking shit about me at a recent birthday party we all went to. It’s nothing that hasn’t been said to my face, but it just pisses me off that someone who was supposed to be my friend would talk badly about me behind my back. It was shocking enough when this person said it to my face; it’s even more shocking to know that they said it to someone else, without me there to defend myself. I am so tired of fake people and the little jabs that this side of the family likes to dish out. I trusted this person, and I thought we were close, but I guess I was wrong.

On top of that, I called another family member — same side of the family — to make sure it was okay if Mike came to dinner and they kind of hemmed and hawed and claimed to not have room. Then they gave me a hard time about us coming later because we also have another place to be. I am so tired of these people refusing to accept our relationship. I thought this person was better than that; they’re usually more welcoming when I bring him around. I didn’t even tell him, because I didn’t want his feelings to get hurt, which I guess is why I was kind of annoyed that he didn’t seem to care when I complained to him about the other family members’ remarks and this one’s problem with us being late.

I constantly feel like the outcast of the family. I don’t know why, but they all seem to have something against me. I never did anything to them. There’s always some sort of jabbing remark, or disapproval toward my boyfriends or my choices. I’m not stupid, I know what qualities to go after in a person. I have standards. I also know how to make decisions for my own life.

Anyway, I have a monster of a headache from doing the whole last minute shopping thing, and I really need to get as much VB done as possible. I guess Thursday will be an interesting day, at the least.

Epiphany

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6

I made a tough decision today.

The semester is over, but my Visual Basic professor had given us until midnight on the 22nd to hand in all of our projects. I was pretty behind, so I was glad for the extension. I realized today, though, that I should just let it go. I had about nine projects that weren’t done, and since I don’t really understand the language it would be near impossible for me to get them done. I tried several times and just couldn’t grasp it. I know, I should have asked my professor for help, but during the last few weeks I’ve been running around like a headless horseman. I refuse to stress about this, cramming these projects and worrying that it won’t be good enough. It kills me, though, that I’m going to fail this class. I haven’t failed a single college course yet, and up until now I’ve always been proud of myself for seeing it through, no matter how hard or impossible it was. I sort of feel like a failure. I wish I’d just dropped it in the first place, because now it’s going to affect my GPA.

See, I’ve pretty much realized that no one at my college is going to help me with my graduation problem. I’ve tried several times to get in touch with the Dean and she has yet to either call me back or reply to my email. At this point, the semester is over and I’m running out of time. If no one will help me, there isn’t much I can do. I’m going to have to take this extra math course, even if it means wasting a whole semester.

So I figured, if I fail Visual Basic — which is likely — I’ll just retake it, since I’m going to have to take the math anyway. Maybe I’ll even take Java or C## instead, something more web oriented. I’ll also probably take a foreign language, since I need one for SCSU anyway. It just sucks, because I have to call SCSU and tell them that I can’t start there until the fall. It makes me sad, that I won’t be getting my diploma for the holiday. It also makes me sad that I have to waste a whole semester on a class I was mislead on, and that I now also can’t get a full-time job in my career until the summer or fall.

Thanks, NVCC. Thanks, Mr. Advisor Who Shall Not Be Named.

Up the ladder

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Literally seconds after my munchie post, I went to check my email to see if the Math/Science Division Director had gotten back to me yet.

She basically recommended a couple of classes that I could take in the spring. I don’t know if she can help me beyond that. She didn’t even refer me to someone else who might be able to.

Well, if I’m going to fight this I might as well go all the way. I think I’ll email the Dean of Academic Affairs.

I don't want anymore, thanks

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5

I feel like I’m at the mercy of some unseen force right now. I swear someone is using a voodoo doll on me.

Saturday night as I got home from my little cousin’s birthday party, I got some super sharp and stabbing pains in my left shoulder. They were in the same spot and only lasted a second or two, but were enough to make me scream, cry, and made my knees buckle. I went to see my new GP on Friday and the nurse practitioner there said she would set me up an appointment with a neurologist. I assumed they’d call me with an appointment later on Friday, but they didn’t. Hopefully they’ll call me Monday, because I can’t take much more of this. I want answers and treatment and relief, and I want it NOW. I am going out of my mind. I’m afraid to do anything or go out in public; can you imagine collapsing on the street or screaming in the middle of the mall? I mean, this is just getting ridiculous. Something is wrong and someone needs to help me before it gets any worse.

I’m also waiting on my college to get back to me. The math/science director still hasn’t responded to my second email, and I won’t get anything until at least Monday. I think my next step should be the Dean; I mean, it was not my mistake and I refuse to pay for the mistake of someone who gets paid to advise students. He obviously gave me the wrong advice, so why do I have to put everything on hold?

Worst of all, Mike is still working third shift. We were supposed to hang out Thursday night (because he was actually off!), but he ended up sleeping through the alarm he’d set and didn’t wake up until one in the morning. He felt bad and I felt bad, but now he won’t be off again until next Thursday. I miss him like crazy and all I want to do right now is drive down there and bang on the doors until they let me in. Then I’d kidnap him and steal him away so that I can be selfish and snuggle in his arms until we wake up. I know he misses me too but somewhere along the line I became sentimental and now I feel like I’m gonna die if I don’t get to see him soon. What happened to the hardass version of me, the one who spat at the very mention of love? Oh. Right. She was one bitter bitch.

On top of everything else, “Jude” invited me to hang out tonight — uh, Saturday night, technically. She was going to have “Zeppelin” come get me, and since I was feeling sorry for myself (because of the Chronic Arm Pains 4.0) I said maybe I shouldn’t. She said she really wanted me to come, and then when said she’d call me back in a few minutes. I assumed she was going to ask “Zeppelin” if she minded picking me up, and that since she wanted me to come over and hang out so bad she’d call me back and make sure I hadn’t changed my mind, but she never called me back. I know I can’t make her give a fuck but really. She knew I wasn’t feeling good — I burst into tears the second she said “hello” when I called her — and yet she still couldn’t be bothered to call me back. This is the shit that makes me want to tell her to have a nice life. When I need her, she never comes through. And yet, when she needs me I am always there.

I love her kids to death and even though I know she’ll pull the You Can’t See the Kids card if I try to stop being friends with her again, I don’t know what else to do. Every time we go through this, she promises to try harder and blahblahblah, but it never happens. We always end up at the same place. She claims that she cares but when it comes down to showing me she cares, she just can’t do it. There’s always something more important.

Anyway, it’s almost 3 am and my arms are killing me. I knew I’d pay for this but I needed to get shit off my chest.