Tag Archives: inglourious basterds

Twilight fans need straightjackets

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UPDATE: Hey, Twilight fans. With an s, because there are more than one of you. I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT A SINGLE PERSON. I AM NOT PICKING ON ANY SINGLE PERSON. So stop sending me hate email and quit trolling my Facebook. If you’d like to say something to me, leave a comment here and prove how brave you are, rather than hiding behind an anonymous email address and your other friends on Facebook.

Also, if you can have your opinion, I can have mine. So please stop hating me just because I don’t agree with you.

Why do Twilight fans get so offended when someone doesn’t like Twilight? I mean, seriously, I have spoken to some people who are so obsessed with it, you’d think they might actually die if all of the movie actors got killed or the books were banned. (Note: I’m not singling anyone out here, in case you were wondering. I’ve just seen way too many people unhealthily obsessed and it’s perplexing.)

I have a lot of things that I love: The Crow (both the graphic novel and movie), Watchmen (both the graphic novel and the movie), The Dark Tower, Inglourious Basterds, to name a few. I collect almost anything related to The Crow and am working on getting all of the Watchmen action figures. Inglourious Basterds moves me every time I watch it. The Dark Tower series is hands down my all-time favorite book series. These are only a few examples of things I really love that spark an interest in me.

I have never written Facebook statuses proclaiming Eric Draven my love. I have never devoted all of my time to creating art based on Watchmen. I have never gotten angry when someone I met didn’t like The Dark Tower or hadn’t heard of it. Bad reviews of Inglourious Basterds don’t make me sputter and ask people how they can be so stupid for not liking it. I don’t swoon in anticipation of the next installment of The Dark Tower comic book series: “OMG I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL (INSERT MONTH HERE)!!!”

Each person is entitled to like whatever they want to like, but Twilight fans are seriously just fucking creepy. Some of them actually compare their relationships to that of the two main characters’, Bella and Edward. Some of these people have it so hard for Edward that I fear for any Twilight posters’ well being.

This is why I don’t like Twilight. The fans are seriously disturbed. I’m not even joking or exaggerating any of this. You* people need help.

*There are some normal Twilight fans out there. Some.

Movies that didn't suck in 2009

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I only saw a few movies this year. Honestly, I thought most of 2009′s new movies were garbage and didn’t bother. There were a few I wanted to see but just didn’t get there, so I’ll probably rent those at some point. I really want to go see The Princess and the Frog, and will probably be going sometime this week with my mom and sister.

Unfortunately, Hollywood no longer thrills me. All of the supposedly “scary” movies look like they were filmed to frighten three-year-olds, and all of the supposedly “funny” movies look like the same stupid shit that’s already been done. Maybe I am a movie snob. I didn’t know I was a movie snob, but here we are. I’m a huge horror freak, so I take my horror movies very seriously. (I’m looking at YOU, lame ass 3D My Bloody Valentine. Your trailers made me giggle.)

I did see a few movies this year that absolutely blew my fucking mind… and a few that kind of just, well, didn’t do any blowing. They just sucked. (Hi, X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Yes, I know I watched a rough mid-production version, but still. You bored me to tears!) The Hangover was pretty fucking predictable and only made me actually laugh maybe three times.

BUT.

Taken, Watchmen, and Inglourious Basterds absolutely thrilled me. I sat in the theater, completely and totally emotionally tied to everything that happened in those movies. For the two or so hours they ran, I was a PART of those movies. If you don’t know the feeling I’m describing, I’m sad for you. It’s the feeling that says, “The cast and crew more than did their job right with this one and are completely sweeping me away!”

They were fucking EPIC in a way that Lord of the Rings can’t even begin to be. I would say that they are my absolute three favorite movies of this year, and that they all go under “Favorite Movies of All Time,” right under The Crow.

(I saw maybe ten movies this year, which qualifies me to judge.)

Up and the latest Harry Potter were also good. Disney/Pixar always makes a good team, and the HP movies just keep getting better and better. (Unlike some other teen oriented movies, TWILIGHT. Sorry, but you suck and I won’t ever see New Moon or the other two. My hatred for annoying Twilight fans and all of the horrible ways the cast and crew fucked up the first movie will forever scar my love of the books. And for all of you supposed fans who have only seen the movies, do yourself a favor and read the books. Please.)

Ahem. Um, where was I? Oh yes, shitting on Twilight and praising Pixar. Or was it Harry Potter?

Whatever.

Anyway, if I ever get a little more time besides the time it takes to pick my nose, I’d also like to see: The Taking of Pelham 123, Zombieland, The Princess and the Frog, and District 9.

So. Now I’m done babbling. What were YOUR favorite movies this year? Leave a comment and tell me! And if you’re a Twilight fan, let’s take it to the parking lot! (;