Tag Archives: jess

Finally, a facial piercing

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I’ve been wanting to do what every sixteen-year-old has already done for a long time now, but kept putting it off because I was slightly worried it wouldn’t look good on me.

I think it turned out pretty well.

Metal in my face.

Metal in my face.

My lip color is Mary Kay’s Red Ribbon, in case any of you are wondering. I’m wearing some Victoria’s Secret lip gloss over it, though, so it’s not as red as it is normally. The Red Ribbon is actually a lip gloss, but it seriously wears like a lipstick. I’ll have to remember to take a picture of it sans VS. Sandy is going to be selling MK soon, so I’ll be whoring it out here when her website goes up. I’m really loving their products.

This weekend was pretty good. Friday night Mike and I hung out with our friend Sean and his girlfriend. Saturday night we went out for karaoke with a mega group of people. Sandy and I got pierced earlier Saturday evening at our friend Jess’s. She got her tongue redone. Jess is an awesome piercer. It rocks that she is pretty much making a business out of it.

I’m still having flareup issues, but my rash is nearly gone, thanks to the Nystatin that Sandy gave me. I took the last of my Celebrex trial yesterday, and as suspected, it didn’t help at all in the last two weeks. I’m still stiff and achy every day, mostly in my hips and knees. Watching me walk when my joints get like that is kind of funny.

Both Friday and Saturday night, though, I said “fuck it” and made sure I looked good on the outside. I’m going to do the same every day this week for work (probably minus the lipstick, though, as the environment is super casual). I am sick of feeling and looking sick. I can’t control how I feel on the inside, but I can control what my body looks like on the outside. And this weekend? I looked damned good, if I do say so myself.

How was your weekend?

2010 in 700 words

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Mike and me, New Year's Eve (taken by Sandy)

Mike and me, New Year's Eve (taken by Sandy)

Last year was a lot of things. I’m not naive enough to believe that the year itself was evil, and that this year will make all of the bad of last year go away. I can, however, look back at the ups and downs, and try to take something from it. I can also admit that this was totally not my idea, and that I stole it from Jess.

I started off the year a university dropout, working two jobs, trying to figure out what I wanted in life and what was going on with my body, worried about my grandfather, and minus a good friend. I ended the year with a good idea of who I am and what I want for my career, a better picture of what might be going on with me, working one job, minus a grandfather, and plus a good friend. Life is very strange.

At the beginning of the year, I started rebuilding one of the most important relationships in my life. I am so grateful that Sandy and I were able to fix things.

Sandy and me, New Year's Eve (taken by Sandy)

Sandy and me, New Year's Eve (taken by Sandy)

I also gained about twenty pounds, thanks to a depression medication called Seroquel. As soon as I realized that was why I gained so much weight, I stopped taking it. I haven’t — knock on wood — felt the need to take medication for my depression since. I started working out, and also rediscovered softball.

In April, I got my second tattoo, to represent my family.

Because we didn’t know how much time Popi had left, we started seeing my two cousins, Mindy and Vinny, more often, even though we hadn’t seen either of them in a long time (both from different circumstances). It sucked that it took Popi being really sick to get everyone together again, but it made me so happy to have all of us together. I know it made him really happy, too.

Lauren, me, Mindy, and Vinny, July 2010

Lauren, me, Mindy, and Vinny, July 2010

Just a couple of weeks after we were all together, Popi took a turn for the worst… and we lost him on July 9th, 2010, early in the morning. I was dreaming that he was gone as my parents woke me up to tell my sister and me that he had passed. It still hurts, especially since my birthday and Christmas card from Noni were signed just from her. I would give anything for his name to be on those cards, too, for him to be here with us now, healthy.

Not long after Popi’s memorial service, Mike’s family lost their house, his mom and stepfather separated, and he had nowhere to go. So, he moved in with me, my parents, my sister, and our two cats. Our relationship has strengthened since he moved in, even though I had been afraid living together might be a bad thing.

In October, at New York Comic Con, I learned that my mystery autoimmune disease has severe physical limitations. Because I’d spent a day walking, I spent the next three or four days unable to walk without being in pain.

November was probably the weirdest month of all. My worst flareup ever began with weird itchiness all over and an even weirder rash on my face, I got my first rejection letter for a short story, my blood work came back all kinds of positive and my doctor referred me to a (third) rheumatologist because he thinks I have Lupus, and I wrote and finished the first draft of a 50,000+ word novel.

In December, I found out that I inherited migraines from my mom’s side of the family. It was only the third or fourth I’ve ever had, but it was by far the worst. I hope it’s a long, long time before I get another one.

December 2010

December 2010

I definitely went through a lot this past year. I’d like to say that I wouldn’t change any of it, that I wouldn’t be who I am without all that happened, and that I’m grateful for that kind of shaping, but I would give anything to have my Popi back. I also wouldn’t mind living without chronic illness and pain. I am, however, grateful for the good things that happened, because if there hadn’t been so much good, I wouldn’t have been able to cope with the bad.

My head split open, I threw up… and then I found my Christmas spirit

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I found my Christmas spirit. I was laying in bed the other night, pretty much dying of a migraine, when I realized I have a lot of people who love me: my mom made me ice packs and stroked my hair while I cried like a two-year-old who has skinned her knee, Mike tucked me into bed before he went to work, my dad sacrificed the TV so that my brain would stop feeling like it was swelling, and my cat snuggled up with me as if to keep watch. With all of that love, who cares whether I’m broke! Sounds magical, right? There was also throwing up and screaming. Trust me, it was not up to Disney standards. It was only my fourth migraine, but I swear each one is worse than the last.

Definitely puts things in perspective.

Apparently I’ve also never mentioned them to my mom before, so she wants me to tell Pam (my PA for those of you who are new) next time I see her. It may or may not have anything to do with the Mystery Autoimmune Disease, but they could probably give me good drugs for the next one — and there will almost definitely be a “next one.” I spent from 4:30 Wednesday night to most of Thursday in bed; even though I woke up and only a small, threatening headache remained, I was completely exhausted and decided what I needed most was rest.

Then, last night, I risked having another massive headache by going out and getting completely sloshed with a bunch of friends for Sandy‘s birthday. (I am so grateful to her for buying my drinks. I’m definitely getting her an awesome birthday/Christmas present.) I was so drunk that, when I woke up this morning before the sun was even up, I was still drunk, and when I woken up again around eight, I was tipsy. I woke up again at noon and was fine, though, so I guess I’m pretty lucky. I’ve only been hungover once and I intend to keep it that way, but last night I guess I tried pretty hard to get one! I know my limit, though, and stopped after… five drinks and two shots: two orange juices with Peach Tree and vodka, two shots of raspberry chocolate wine, and three vodka collinses. Eep. Yeah, I’m pretty damn lucky!

Oh well. I figure, I’m twenty-two, and pretty much have to do this. I enjoy it and enjoy the company. Our group always has a blast.

So yeah, if you see a video of me singing “Wannabe” with a couple of hot chicks, don’t be surprised. I was way too drunk to say no when Jess suggested it!

30 Days

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I miss blogging — a lot. I’ve been trying to cut back on it, though, so that I have more time in the day to get all of my work (for that day) done and have time for some writing. So far, I’ve managed to increase my workload and have not yet fallen into a daily writing routine. I am such a self-saboteur.

I saw an interesting sort of meme on Jess’s blog that you do over a period of thirty days. I’ve seen a few different versions of this, and most recently I’ve seen one other that I didn’t really like. I really like the topics on this one, though, so I’m going to (try to*) do it, too.

Here are the topics:

Day 01: A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02: The meaning behind your blog name
Day 03: A recent picture of you and your friends
Day 04: A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05: A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06: Favorite super hero/fictional character and why
Day 07: A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08: Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09: Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10: Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11: Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12: How you found out about WordPress and why you made one
Day 13: A letter to someone who has hurt you
Day 14: A picture of you and your family
Day 15: Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16: Another picture of yourself
Day 17: Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18: Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19: Nicknames you have; why do you have them?
Day 20: Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21: A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22: What makes you different from everyone else?
Day 23: Something you crave for a lot
Day 24: A letter to your parents
Day 25: What I would find in your bag
Day 26: What you think about your friends
Day 27: Why are you doing this 30 day challenge?
Day 28: A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29: In this past month, what have you learned?
Day 30: Who are you?

*Because we all know how good I am at sticking to things.

Why my life is better than BlogHer… except not

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The people have asked for a blog update, so who am I to deny her them?

I have officially survived my first two weeks of being full-time self-employed. The reason I have completely forgotten about abstained from updating my blog is that I’ve been leaving my laptop at my aunt’s, and during the day I don’t have enough time to write anything. I actually like this. The days go by fast, and I always feel good and productive when I leave.

There’s also a lot of drama going on, none of which I can write about, because as much as it pisses me off, it’s not my drama to tell. I would move the world for Mike, but when I can’t, it makes me crazy.

Thursday night I went to see Ramona and Beezus with my mom and sister. It was really, really, really cute. When I was in elementary school, I read most of the Beverly Cleary books about Ramona. She is one of my all-time favorite children’s book characters. I can’t wait until I have a little girl — or until my goddaughter Kaylene is old enough — so that I can read her the Ramona books. It was a nice night out with Mom and Lauren, and one of very few left, since Lauren is going away to school… on my birthday. I’m honestly really sad about my little sister leaving the nest, even if it’s not really permanent. I’ve spent the last eighteen years seeing her almost every day. She’s my best friend*.

But you can’t change anything**. You can only adapt.

It’s weird when life is half good and half crazy-in-a-bad-way. You spend all of your time alternating between grinning like the Joker and feeling ready to hire a hit man on someone, so you end up looking completely insane.

I did, however, manage to get away from it all for a few hours last night. I went to my watering hole with my cousin Kate, and we drank vodka collinses and sang karaoke until last call. Our karaoke guy called me “badass” after my last song, and this guy kept hitting on me, even though I kept reminding him that he’d met my boyfriend, and all of my friends at the bar kept talking about my boyfriend in front of him. Like Kate said, some guys never give up, even when it’s hopeless. It wouldn’t have been so annoying if the guy hadn’t inserted himself into every conversation and smoke break (even though he doesn’t smoke). Poor Mike’s little hottie is in high demand; a couple of weeks ago, a guy asked me out for coffee as I was leaving Barnes and Noble. It always amuses me when guys hit on me. I like the way I look, but I’m so used to ignoring the male species with my gaga eyes on Mike, that when I get hit on, I am always surprised.

Anyway, to make this post even longer and more ADHD, I’m going to be participating in #superbyseptember, a weight loss challenge started by Karen and brought to my attention by my friend Brooke. I just have to find a scale in my house and weigh myself, something I’m not exactly excited about doing. At this point, the cheeseburger baby now looks like I am carrying a real human baby and am somewhere in my second trimester. Since I have my mom’s side of the family’s curse — wherein all extra weight goes to our stomachs and asses — the extra twenty or so pounds I’ve gained from Seroquel and have continued to gain after quitting it from a massive intake of fast food and little to no exercise has indeed made me look like I’m now picking out clothes for a baby whom I now know the sex of. My mom is the only person who insists that I don’t look pregnant. Thank you for your dishonesty, Mom, but the mirror tells the truth, and so does everyone else who comes into contact with me and my baby bump.

Basically, I just have to weigh myself sometime this weekend — and fuck am I afraid to see; last time I weighed myself, I was 17lbs over my normal weight, which I’m sure has increased — and start getting fit. I’ve been saving money for a bike for some time now, so I think I’ll be buying it and a bike rack maybe this week. I’ll also need a scale in my house, since we don’t have one (though Noni has one downstairs). I want to stop ignoring the fact that I’ve gained so much weight and put it right in front of my face, where I can’t ignore it. A quick BMI check says that I’m just on the verge of being overweight — and that’s only using the weight I was last weighed at. I used to wonder how anyone overweight could let it happen, and now I see that it just happens. There are so many factors, that you can’t just pinpoint one thing. Seroquel is the biggest factor, but so is the fact that I stopped walking around so much and spend most of my time in front of the computer these days***.

So I am determined to lose some kind of weight this month using this challenge. Since I have a track record of losing weight unnecessarily, I’m not even sure what a healthy goal is for the month. I’m just going to stop eating fast food so much, ride my bike around some trails a few times a week, and go for a twenty minute walk every day, even if I just walk around the mall.

I know I’ve attempted to give up fast food before, and I failed horribly at it, but I just can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to give it up completely, though, because that’s apparently how I cave. I’m going to try to eat it only once a week, and try to make healthier choices (like Taco Bell instead of Burger King****).

I’m feeling kind of dubious about this, but I want to at least try it. If I fail, at least I tried, right?

PS: I severely need to go get my eye prescription updated. Someone please remind me to call the Walmart eye center place thingy on Monday so that I can start seeing the computer screen — and everything on the road — again.

*Yeah, Mike and Sandy and my cat count, but Lauren and I have tons of history and inside jokes that can’t be beat by some hot guy, funny girl, and pretty cat.

**Unless we’re talking underwear.

***Still, I mostly blame Seroquel, because I was pretty lazy before I started taking it and would probably still weigh around 118lbs if I hadn’t started.

****Is Taco Bell healthier? It seems healthier. I must research this.