Tag Archives: movies

Why my life is better than BlogHer… except not

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The people have asked for a blog update, so who am I to deny her them?

I have officially survived my first two weeks of being full-time self-employed. The reason I have completely forgotten about abstained from updating my blog is that I’ve been leaving my laptop at my aunt’s, and during the day I don’t have enough time to write anything. I actually like this. The days go by fast, and I always feel good and productive when I leave.

There’s also a lot of drama going on, none of which I can write about, because as much as it pisses me off, it’s not my drama to tell. I would move the world for Mike, but when I can’t, it makes me crazy.

Thursday night I went to see Ramona and Beezus with my mom and sister. It was really, really, really cute. When I was in elementary school, I read most of the Beverly Cleary books about Ramona. She is one of my all-time favorite children’s book characters. I can’t wait until I have a little girl — or until my goddaughter Kaylene is old enough — so that I can read her the Ramona books. It was a nice night out with Mom and Lauren, and one of very few left, since Lauren is going away to school… on my birthday. I’m honestly really sad about my little sister leaving the nest, even if it’s not really permanent. I’ve spent the last eighteen years seeing her almost every day. She’s my best friend*.

But you can’t change anything**. You can only adapt.

It’s weird when life is half good and half crazy-in-a-bad-way. You spend all of your time alternating between grinning like the Joker and feeling ready to hire a hit man on someone, so you end up looking completely insane.

I did, however, manage to get away from it all for a few hours last night. I went to my watering hole with my cousin Kate, and we drank vodka collinses and sang karaoke until last call. Our karaoke guy called me “badass” after my last song, and this guy kept hitting on me, even though I kept reminding him that he’d met my boyfriend, and all of my friends at the bar kept talking about my boyfriend in front of him. Like Kate said, some guys never give up, even when it’s hopeless. It wouldn’t have been so annoying if the guy hadn’t inserted himself into every conversation and smoke break (even though he doesn’t smoke). Poor Mike’s little hottie is in high demand; a couple of weeks ago, a guy asked me out for coffee as I was leaving Barnes and Noble. It always amuses me when guys hit on me. I like the way I look, but I’m so used to ignoring the male species with my gaga eyes on Mike, that when I get hit on, I am always surprised.

Anyway, to make this post even longer and more ADHD, I’m going to be participating in #superbyseptember, a weight loss challenge started by Karen and brought to my attention by my friend Brooke. I just have to find a scale in my house and weigh myself, something I’m not exactly excited about doing. At this point, the cheeseburger baby now looks like I am carrying a real human baby and am somewhere in my second trimester. Since I have my mom’s side of the family’s curse — wherein all extra weight goes to our stomachs and asses — the extra twenty or so pounds I’ve gained from Seroquel and have continued to gain after quitting it from a massive intake of fast food and little to no exercise has indeed made me look like I’m now picking out clothes for a baby whom I now know the sex of. My mom is the only person who insists that I don’t look pregnant. Thank you for your dishonesty, Mom, but the mirror tells the truth, and so does everyone else who comes into contact with me and my baby bump.

Basically, I just have to weigh myself sometime this weekend — and fuck am I afraid to see; last time I weighed myself, I was 17lbs over my normal weight, which I’m sure has increased — and start getting fit. I’ve been saving money for a bike for some time now, so I think I’ll be buying it and a bike rack maybe this week. I’ll also need a scale in my house, since we don’t have one (though Noni has one downstairs). I want to stop ignoring the fact that I’ve gained so much weight and put it right in front of my face, where I can’t ignore it. A quick BMI check says that I’m just on the verge of being overweight — and that’s only using the weight I was last weighed at. I used to wonder how anyone overweight could let it happen, and now I see that it just happens. There are so many factors, that you can’t just pinpoint one thing. Seroquel is the biggest factor, but so is the fact that I stopped walking around so much and spend most of my time in front of the computer these days***.

So I am determined to lose some kind of weight this month using this challenge. Since I have a track record of losing weight unnecessarily, I’m not even sure what a healthy goal is for the month. I’m just going to stop eating fast food so much, ride my bike around some trails a few times a week, and go for a twenty minute walk every day, even if I just walk around the mall.

I know I’ve attempted to give up fast food before, and I failed horribly at it, but I just can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to give it up completely, though, because that’s apparently how I cave. I’m going to try to eat it only once a week, and try to make healthier choices (like Taco Bell instead of Burger King****).

I’m feeling kind of dubious about this, but I want to at least try it. If I fail, at least I tried, right?

PS: I severely need to go get my eye prescription updated. Someone please remind me to call the Walmart eye center place thingy on Monday so that I can start seeing the computer screen — and everything on the road — again.

*Yeah, Mike and Sandy and my cat count, but Lauren and I have tons of history and inside jokes that can’t be beat by some hot guy, funny girl, and pretty cat.

**Unless we’re talking underwear.

***Still, I mostly blame Seroquel, because I was pretty lazy before I started taking it and would probably still weigh around 118lbs if I hadn’t started.

****Is Taco Bell healthier? It seems healthier. I must research this.

The problem with Kick-Ass

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I’m confused. The first time I saw a trailer for Kick-Ass, it looked like another Spy Kids type of movie: a group of young friends playing superhero. The only trailer I’ve seen is the one where the kids decide to do something about the crime in their town. They all dress up as superheroes and fight crime. Sounds like Teen Titans, right? So why is the movie called Kick-Ass if it’s meant for kids?

Well, according to IMDB, it’s not. It’s rated R.

So basically, kids are seeing a kid friendly trailer that is actually tied to a movie that has “strong brutal violence throughout, pervasive language, sexual content, nudity and some drug use — some involving children.”

Huh??

The kids in the trailer look like kids. The girl doesn’t even look over fourteen. It looks like Harry Potter with disguises, and yet there’s drug use and nudity? I’ve seen misleading trailers, but this takes the cake. If I were a parent and had seen the trailer I’ve already seen, I’d be perfectly okay with taking my kid to go see it. I would have cluelessly walked up to the ticket booth, asked for two tickets, and would have had no clue what I was about to show my child. The person selling the ticket would have probably not even told me it was an R-rated movie, because when they see a parent with their child, they assume it’s okay because children under 17 need a parent to attend an R-rated film.

Hell, watching the preview I kind of thought to myself, “Looks lame but I bet Little Tony would be interested.” Little Tony is Mike’s almost twelve-year-old brother. Imagine if I continued to be oblivious about the rating and had taken him to see it!

Parenting is hard enough without misleading movie trailers. Ideally, we want to protect our kids from seeing sex and drug use in movies and on television. I’m not a mom yet, but even I can see how wrong this movie’s marketing scheme is. Did they even stop and think for a second before putting together that trailer? How many clueless parents will agree to take their children to see Kick-Ass thinking it’s an innocent, slightly more mature version of Spy Kids (high school characters instead of middle school characters), only to find out while watching the movie that it’s for adults?

It can’t be that bad if Nicholas Cage is in it, right? I mean, shit, I’m not a prude or anything, but being that it looks kid friendly and really isn’t, I have a huge problem with it.

Thoughts?

PS: Here is a longer, definitely adult trailer for Kick-Ass. I still say the one I saw (linked above) is misleading. It looks like a fun movie that I would be interested in, but I think that other trailers should be more up front about the intended age level of the audience.

Movies that didn't suck in 2009

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I only saw a few movies this year. Honestly, I thought most of 2009′s new movies were garbage and didn’t bother. There were a few I wanted to see but just didn’t get there, so I’ll probably rent those at some point. I really want to go see The Princess and the Frog, and will probably be going sometime this week with my mom and sister.

Unfortunately, Hollywood no longer thrills me. All of the supposedly “scary” movies look like they were filmed to frighten three-year-olds, and all of the supposedly “funny” movies look like the same stupid shit that’s already been done. Maybe I am a movie snob. I didn’t know I was a movie snob, but here we are. I’m a huge horror freak, so I take my horror movies very seriously. (I’m looking at YOU, lame ass 3D My Bloody Valentine. Your trailers made me giggle.)

I did see a few movies this year that absolutely blew my fucking mind… and a few that kind of just, well, didn’t do any blowing. They just sucked. (Hi, X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Yes, I know I watched a rough mid-production version, but still. You bored me to tears!) The Hangover was pretty fucking predictable and only made me actually laugh maybe three times.

BUT.

Taken, Watchmen, and Inglourious Basterds absolutely thrilled me. I sat in the theater, completely and totally emotionally tied to everything that happened in those movies. For the two or so hours they ran, I was a PART of those movies. If you don’t know the feeling I’m describing, I’m sad for you. It’s the feeling that says, “The cast and crew more than did their job right with this one and are completely sweeping me away!”

They were fucking EPIC in a way that Lord of the Rings can’t even begin to be. I would say that they are my absolute three favorite movies of this year, and that they all go under “Favorite Movies of All Time,” right under The Crow.

(I saw maybe ten movies this year, which qualifies me to judge.)

Up and the latest Harry Potter were also good. Disney/Pixar always makes a good team, and the HP movies just keep getting better and better. (Unlike some other teen oriented movies, TWILIGHT. Sorry, but you suck and I won’t ever see New Moon or the other two. My hatred for annoying Twilight fans and all of the horrible ways the cast and crew fucked up the first movie will forever scar my love of the books. And for all of you supposed fans who have only seen the movies, do yourself a favor and read the books. Please.)

Ahem. Um, where was I? Oh yes, shitting on Twilight and praising Pixar. Or was it Harry Potter?

Whatever.

Anyway, if I ever get a little more time besides the time it takes to pick my nose, I’d also like to see: The Taking of Pelham 123, Zombieland, The Princess and the Frog, and District 9.

So. Now I’m done babbling. What were YOUR favorite movies this year? Leave a comment and tell me! And if you’re a Twilight fan, let’s take it to the parking lot! (;

I don't have anything witty to put here, so let's title it "Religion"

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I’m singing the Spice Girls right now and my cat has probably OD’d on Lithium, she’s so happy.

Tonight is going to rock, despite all of the shoot-me-now my life has been lately. I’m going to see Watchmen with Mike, and it’s going to be awesome. I’ve never read the graphic novel, but the trailer just looks so cool I think I’m going to be obsessed. In fact, there is a discount book store in my city that just opened, so I think Mike and I are going to check that out today. Maybe they’ll have the book and I won’t have to feel guilty about spending any money because everything in there is (supposedly) 40% off regular seller prices.

Last night was the season finale of Burn Notice. The new season starts in June. I’m going to die between now and then. Speaking of TV, I’m behind on Dollhouse and probably going to miss tonight’s episode. Whoever decided to put it on a Friday night is a moron. No one is home Friday night. I hope they count the number of views the episodes on the Fox website get, because I doubt the TV ratings are very high.

We also watched Religulous last night. I agreed with a lot of what Bill Maher said. My mom is Protestant and my dad is Catholic, though neither of them are hardcore about it. I was baptized Protestant and raised with a little bit of both. Mom always made us go to church on Sundays with her mother, while Dad stayed at home and watched Nascar. (I never got why it was okay for him to stay home but I had to endure two hours of either Sunday school or the pastor droning on and on. My favorite part about church was the Italian bread and grape juice. Oh, that and going home and playing with my toys afterward.)

I can’t remember exactly when I stopped going, but eventually my mom gave up on dragging me out of bed to go somewhere I didn’t want to be. Religion just never made sense for me. I listened to the stories and teachings, but I had a hard time believing in something I couldn’t see or feel. I tried exploring other religions for a while. I practiced Wicca and read about Druidism. I studied the Muslim religion in eighth grade. As interesting as it all was, I didn’t take any of it seriously.

I don’t believe in any kind of higher power. I am a firm believer of living my own life the way I want to, and treating others the way I want to be treated. I practice being happy and being a good person. I’ve been called a Satanist, and I’ve had people stop talking to me just because I don’t believe in any kind of god. (For the record, I don’t believe in any kind of devil, either. I think people have the freedom to be good or evil.) I once got fired from a job for no real reason, and I still believe to this day that it was because I don’t have a religion. (My boss and coworkers were all religious in some way.)

Religion is a touchy subject for most people. Don’t get me wrong. I am fascinated by other people’s beliefs. It’s interesting to me, but I take as much stock in it as I take in the spaghetti monster in the sky. (I did that just for you, Mike. I know you’re reading this, even though you never comment. Lazy ass.) I won’t not talk to someone just because of their religion. As weird as some practices may seem to me — like Scientology — I won’t dispute that it’s something people believe in. You believe what you wanna believe. I’ll leave you alone, as long as you leave me alone. Don’t interrogate me or tell me what I need to believe. Don’t try to force me into praying, or I’ll sick the vicious kitty on you:

Squirt

Squirt

The weekend of champions!

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What’ll it be: the requisite Valentine’s Day post, a review of the Friday the 13th remake, a review of the pilot episode of Dollhouse, or more drama than is healthy for anyone?

Michael and I stopped bickering long enough to go see the Friday the 13th remake on, well, Friday the 13th. Instead of being mean to each other, we strolled around the mall arm in arm (he even bought me clothes)! Instead of picking at each other over every stupid little thing, we watched people get slaughtered and listened to fifteen-year-old gangstas yell out stupid things at regular intervals. I didn’t want to see it at first (Mike can tell you all about our debate on remakes and sequels), but eventually my curiosity won. Besides, it was Friday the 13th! (And I figured I should be a good girlfriend and go see the damn movie with my boyfriend.)

Of course, nothing is ever perfect. We sat in the truck letting it warm up when the movie was over. The parking lot was nearly empty and it was kind of creepy. Mike chainsmoked his way through our post-movie banter. All of a sudden, I got a sharp, stabbing pain in my left shoulder — much like what happened after my cousin’s birthday party two months ago. This time, the pain was on the backside of my shoulder and the backside of my upper arm. Just like last time, it brought me to tears and hysterics. I sat there screaming like a two-year-old while Mike tried to figure out what the hell was wrong with me.

Just like last time, it was over relatively quickly. The weirdest part, though, was that it happened exactly two months after the first time.

Valentine’s Day was pretty low-key, luckily. Mike came over for cake for Lauren’s birthday, and fried dough for dinner. We went to Walmart for a few things and then went to his house. On top of the three shirts he bought me (see above), there’s also a mystery present he got on eBay that is en route to his house as I type this. I gave him his card, which apparently was not gay (I wrote him a long, sappy letter inside; everything I usually do like that is “gay,” according to him). We watched random TV and cuddled and stuff, and then he dropped me off. Naturally I forgot my Walmart bags in his truck, but I got them the next morning after I took him out to breakfast at our favorite diner.

Breakfast was nice but he had to go to work after, so we didn’t get to linger or hang out afterward (which was probably a good thing; I didn’t want to push our luck and have us start bickering again). I went to a birthday party for Kaylene, my goddaughter, where there was all kinds of drama that I don’t have any ambition to write about.

Last night I watched the pilot episode of Dollhouse, since I couldn’t watch it Friday night when it aired. It was an awesome episode, and I hope it’s just the beginning of how awesome this series is going to be. It seems that Joss Whedon’s writing has gotten even better, which I didn’t think possible. It was really cool to see him do something so different, and of course it’s even better to see him working with Eliza Dushku and Amy Ackers again. I can’t wait until next Friday.

All in all, it was a pretty good weekend. It could have been worse, right?