Tag Archives: noni

2012 So Far: It’s All Coming Together

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I’ve been horribly lacking in the blogging department lately. I’d apologize, but I’ve been accomplishing a lot. As some of you know, my parents, sister, and I moved in with my grandparents about six years ago. The house is a three-family home, and each apartment is a one-bedroom. Originally, my great-grandmother lived on the first floor and my grandparents lived on the third floor. My great aunt lives on the second floor. When we moved in, my sister and I moved in with my grandparents on the third floor, and my parents moved in with my great-grandmother on the first floor. It was supposed to be temporary, so we literally slapped down mattresses in the middle of each apartment. When Popi got sick, he and Noni moved downstairs and my parents came upstairs. Mike moved in with us on the third floor. Popi passed away. Our apartment continued to look like a hostel rather than a home.

For years, we planned on moving things around, making it look better, but for one reason or another (conflicting schedules, procrastination, etc), it never quite happened. We did finally empty out our storage unit and move everything into the cellar. Mom rearranged the bedroom. I decided to stop waiting for any kind of collaborative effort and took it upon myself to rearrange my sister’s and my room, what was originally our grandparents’ dining room.

For the past six years, our mattresses sat on an angle in the middle of the room, leaving only a slim pathway between the living room and kitchen. It’s still not done, but I moved a lot of furniture around, went through all of my things and took out several garbage bags, vacuumed, dusted… and ended up with this:

Coming together...

Coming together...

There’s still a huge walnut desk and dry sink that need to be moved downstairs so that Noni can use them again (the dry sink is just for decoration), but it’s coming together nicely. Mostly, I’m proud of myself because I thought I couldn’t do anything like this anymore (moving furniture around). I thought it’d be too much on my body… which it was, but I did it anyway. And you know what? Every day after I moved furniture, I felt a little better. Sure, I popped a lot of Tylenol and Tramadol at night after lifting, heaving, and tugging all day, but the sense of pride I felt way outweighed the pain.

I’ve lost a little momentum now, but can’t do much more anyway until the desk and dry sink come out. I have “before” pictures and I can’t wait to show you them with the “after” pictures I’m going to take. I know it’s probably not such a big deal, but knowing I did this all by myself is a big deal to me. Take that, joint pain! Plus, getting anything done around here is a big deal anyway. We’ve all been sardined in here for so long that everyone’s sort of gotten comfortable with it, even though we all complain about the lack of space.

I printed out the first draft of Secondhand Mom, and as I put the pages into plastic page protectors in a binder, I noticed a lot of continuity errors just from speed reading as I went through the stack. I sort of want to edit Secondhand Mom before I work on Sade On the Wall, but I’m not sure yet. I think SOTW will be easier to turn into a second draft, because there aren’t any continuity errors, just some style issues, accuracy with some description, and maybe pace. The more editing and revising I do, the more I love it.

Speaking of which, I’ve edited and revised another short story to be published as an ebook soon. I just need to format the manuscript and haven’t had the chance to do it. I did design a cover, though, and after sleeping on it for a few days, I’m really happy with it and won’t be making any changes. At some point, I’m going to write up a quick post about designing covers.

And continuing with the writing theme… I found a website that has tons of freelance copywriting jobs, and was thinking about trying to make that into my part-time income, but then decided I’d rather spend that time working on my fiction. So, one of my goals for this year have changed, just a little.

I’m really anxious to get this room finished, though, because my whole reason for rearranging it was to create a more organized and comfortable work space for myself. I have a hard time doing any writing when I feel cluttered.

I’ve also been thinking about going back to Facebook. Hear me out. I know I said I wouldn’t, but it’s becoming more and more clear to me that, for marketing purposes, I do probably need to be there, to some extent. I want to get my hands dirtier with self-publishing and submitting stories to markets so that when I start querying Sade On the Wall, I have somewhat of a name and readership built up for myself. I was talking with a friend one night over dinner about self-publishing and she asked me if she could do it, too. “Sure,” I said. “You’d even have a leg up on me, because you still have a Facebook, with friends and family on it who’d support your work.” And it’s true. I gained a lot of readers through Facebook. Half the time, I didn’t even know people were reading until it was casually mentioned, or someone emailed me about a blog post I’d written. I’ve decided that, if I do go back, my personal profile will be completely locked down, and I’ll use it only to run a page focused on my writing. That way, I won’t have to deal with most of the things I hated about Facebook. I haven’t completely decided yet, though.

Speaking of social media, I now have an author profile on Goodreads. This isn’t nearly as cool as it sounds. It’s still the same profile I had before, just more writerly. I’m still relatively unknown… but I’m hoping this will give me a leg up. Maybe I won’t have to return to the devil Facebook. ;)

However — and this is cool — I discovered that Goodreads authors can put their ebooks up for sale there… so “Moon Prayer” is now available on Goodreads. “Moon Prayer” is still not available on Amazon… but De told me it’s because Smashwords and Amazon are at some kind of standstill for negotiations, so I need to upload it to Amazon myself. This is on my mile-long To Do list… which is only getting longer, but I love every minute of this.

I’ve been following De’s successes closely for a long time now, but recently started following the success story of Amanda Hocking as well, and the more I read about either of them, the more possible this all seems. I’m going to be an author. It doesn’t feel far-fetched, like some kind of pipe dream. It feels like a real dream. It still scares me, but in a good way.

If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough.

via Pinterest

It’s freeing.

Aside from all that, I’ve been reading, experimenting with clothing and makeup, contemplating cutting my hair, spending time with friends and family, saving my ass off for a Mac and an apartment, snuggling with my cat, loving Mike and falling in love with him over and over, and just enjoying life in general.

It’s all coming together.

Off My Mind: Christmas, Careful Economics, and Crashing Appointments

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I haven’t been able to do much writing lately, and I think it’s because my mind is clogged with so much other crap, I can’t get into writing mode. I’ve tried making a To Do list of all of the writing things, but that just bogs me down more. Clearly I need to get some things off my mind.

My day job is starting to get kind of intense. I worked five days in a row, and two of those days were like being in the Twilight Zone. My normally nice coworkers kept snapping at me and giving me snarky answers to questions. I think it’s the holidays — Black Friday is around the corner and we have no idea what the sales are or what the associate schedule is going to be — but still. I’m relieved that I have today and tomorrow off.

I still really like my job, though. I never thought I’d actually like working in retail, but I don’t mind working there at all.

I’m probably going to be working a second job during the Christmas season. I may or may not be completely out of my mind. Only time will tell. My old boss from my very first job asked me if I would come back during the holidays. I’m broke, so I’ll pretty much do anything — “anything” including working at the mall during December. I am fully prepared to be a babbling heap by the New Year.

Thinking about Christmas shopping kind of makes me want to throw up. I wrote a whole article about budgeting for the holidays — it’s coming, get ready! — and while I’m actively doing all of the steps I’ve outlined in said article, I’m still nervous. Clearly I am a trustworthy source.

In all seriousness, I’ve given myself a budget of $25 per person, and I hate it. I want to give everyone on my list the world, but I can’t even afford everyone on my list. It comes down to this: I have twelve people I’d like to shop for, but can only afford eight of them. How do you choose?!

I tried to get Mike to agree to not get each other gifts, but he said he’s getting me something anyway… which, in all honesty, just makes me feel like I have to get him something. I know he just means that he’s excited — he loves Christmas shopping — but he just doesn’t realize how stressed I am about the whole thing.

I know it shouldn’t matter, because either way, I’m going to spend the holidays with the people I love, and that’s very precious to me. I wish Christmas was more like Thanksgiving (which is next week, and my belly is very, very excited); there’s no pressure to get things for people. You just have to bring yourself (and some food). Eating is very zen like that.

Of course, thinking about Christmas shopping just reminds me that I’m very broke. How I can justify buying things for people when my car is currently unable to go on the highway is beyond me. I should be putting that money toward the car, and car insurance, and my student loan repayment. I wish I could figure out some other sort of gifts so that I could put the majority of the money I’m saving for Christmas toward the car instead. But thinking about that might just collapse my already fragile nerves.

I am, however, saving for a few things. My savings account is currently the home of Operation Apartment. I am saving at least $10 a week, which is nothing at the time, but it adds up. Or at least, it does as long as I don’t touch it.

I’m also saving for a new computer. Specifically, a Mac. More specifically, a 15-inch MacBook Pro. Of course, I so don’t have $1,799 (or $2,199). I’ve calculated that, if I save $30 a week and save all of my pennies (quite literally), I can afford one in about a year. I’ve been drooling over the idea of getting a Mac for quite some time. I’m admittedly kind of attached to the PC I have because I’m sentimentally weird like that, but it’s way out of date — I can’t even play The Sims 3 on it, and that’s a fucking crime — and acts like a geriatric brontosaurus. I refused to even start looking at computers until this one actually needed to be replaced, though; I’m just not the kind of girl that needs the latest and greatest. My basic needs in a computer are: internet, word processor, and Sims (and pretty much in that order). I’m not a tech junkie or WoW gamer (Sims are way cooler than WoW, anyway). Quite frankly, I’m sick of Microsoft and Windows. I want to get as far away from anything Microsoft as soon as I can. I have very limited experience with a Mac, but if getting away from Microsoft means shelling out about $2,000 and learning a whole new computer interface, then so be it. (Besides, it’s really not that different. I worked at a web design shop a few years ago that used nothing but Macs, so I spent my days bouncing back and forth between a PC and Mac. If I hadn’t started my day on a PC at Job 1, switched to a Mac at Job 2, then went back to a PC for Job 3, I would have gotten the hang of it much faster.)

While my laptop is pretty outdated, though, I don’t really need a new one… yet. (But not being able to play TS3 or The Sims Medieval is kind of making me want to cry.) I do, however, need a new phone. My BlackBerry, bless its little chip, is pretty wonky, and even more outdated than my laptop at this point, even though the laptop is physically older. How’s that for the technology we have these days?! I abhor the BlackBerry’s track ball. My biggest gripe about this phone from day one is the track ball constantly getting stuck, or the screen moving up instead of down even though I am scrolling down, dammit. A little less than a year ago, I updated my BB’s OS so that I could have the new Twitter app at the time, but now the damn thing’s OS is out of date again. It’s a pain in the ass to do, though, and I’d rather not tempt fate (I was a little nervous about accidentally destroying my phone the first time around). Contrary to popular belief, I am not an IT. (Web designer =/= IT. I cannot stress this to my family enough. Sigh.)

Even worse, though, the thing keeps freezing all the time. I’m waiting for the day it just stops working completely. Realistically, it still makes phone calls, so it’s still serving its purpose — like I said, I’m more practical than techie, even though I really like shiny things — but I’d really like to come a little bit out of the dark ages and get a touch screen. My grandmother — Noni — has a touch screen, and I don’t. (She rocks at it, too.) The question is, though, which one? My mom told me she’d get me a new phone for Christmas. When my sister and dad got the HTC Evo several months ago, I started drooling over it. I figured I’d just get that. But now Sprint has the iPhone, and the iPhone 4 — not 4S, mind you; I don’t need my phone talking to me, thank you very much — is actually the same price as the Evo. How do you choose?!

I have a friend who has had and loved both, and even she doesn’t always give me the same answer. The iPhone’s battery lasts longer, she says, but the HTC survives more drops (unless you get the expensive plexiglass hard case for the iPhone). She also told me the HTC’s apps are cheaper (as in, usually free), but after some research I discovered the iPhone can be synced to your Mac, so all pictures you take or changes to documents you make on your iPhone instantly go to your Mac via iCloud. Since I know I’m getting a Mac at some point, this is a huge thing; I could put Pages (word processor) on my iPhone and Mac, and write away from my computer if I need to… and it would be on my computer instantly. Right now, if I’m away from my computer and get an idea for a story or book I’m writing, I pull out my BlackBerry, open up WordPress, and start writing. Then I send it as a draft and it goes to my WP site, and then I log in to my website, open up the draft, and copy and paste it into a Word document. If I take a picture on my BB, I have to connect it to my PC via USB, upload the photos to my computer, and then upload them to my website or whatever. iCloud cuts out those middle steps, and like I said, it’s a huge deal to me.

So I guess I’m leaning toward an iPhone. My mom told me to let her know whenever I decide. Hahaha, I guess there is a techie in me.

I should be coming into some extra money soon, so fortunately we may be getting our apartment and I may be getting my Mac even sooner. I don’t know if I wrote about my 401(k) woes here — and if I did, I can’t find the post — but I finally got it all straightened out. To make a long story short, the third party company that managed the retirement plans at the newspaper I worked at a couple of years ago took it upon themselves to move my 401(k) into one of their IRA accounts, instead of into an IRA account at my bank like I requested. I still don’t know entirely how it happened, but when they moved it into their IRA, they never sent me any access information, so I got locked out of it somehow. I couldn’t contact them, either, for similar reasons — you have to have a PIN to even get through their 800 number to talk to someone — so I ended up going through my bank yet again, the retirement plan company sent me some paperwork in the mail and I filled it out and faxed it, and I should be getting a check from them soon. That check is going toward the Operation Apartment fund.

Come January, I should be coming into more money, because I put a lot of extra money into taxes withheld while I worked at my full-time job as a Tee Shirt Terrorist. At the time, I made enough money to do so without even missing it, and figured it would be like a savings account I’d get to use on whatever I wanted down the road. Well, “down the road” is here, and I’m putting that money toward my Mac.

I’m writing a graphic novel with Mike, Robbie, and Sean. This isn’t actually stressful, but it is on my mind (I’m super excited about it). A couple weeks ago, Mike and I were sitting around the house talking about how talented of artists Robbie and Sean are, and I said, “You’re getting really good, too, though.” He kind of just shrugged that off, and somehow the conversation led to me announcing that the four of us should make a graphic novel and get it published. “I mean, the three of you all draw, and I write, and it just seems like a crime to not take advantage of that and at least try to get something out there.” The original idea was for me to write, Mike to do the cover, and Robbie and Sean to do the inside art, but since then, Mike has been talking about cowriting it. I came up with some characters and then the story today, and am writing a short story that Mike and I will convert into a script later.

I need to set up some appointments with a few doctors. I missed my Mirena followup again when the power was out; the office didn’t have power on the date of the appointment, and it never got rescheduled. I also never followed up with my PA-C after seeing my rheumatologist a few months ago. (Oops.) I guess I’m just sick of the whole doctor thing. I have an appointment with my rheumatologist next week, I think, but I’m not sure if it’ll work out because the schedule for next week at work isn’t up yet for some reason, and they’ve also put up a notice saying that no one can request any time off until after the holidays. (This is normal, though, from what I remember from my previous retail days.) I may have to reschedule it for January or later; I kind of want to schedule an appointment at Yale first. I also need to see a different gastroenterologist. My GI issues are not improving, and I don’t feel that my current gastroenterologist is attentive enough.

I’m really sick of playing the doctor game. I don’t want to go all the way to New Haven every time I need to see a rheumatologist, but Yale is world renowned for its medical practitioners. They have an entire rheumatology building there. If they can’t figure out what’s wrong with me, I don’t know who can.

We are moving our things out of storage during the last weekend of this month. Our dressers are definitely coming up here, and most of the stuff is going into the cellar so that we can go through it little by little. I have to move the dining room around so that I can fit the dressers in here, but I’m not sure exactly how I’m going to do it. The roof/ceiling hasn’t leaked since that rain storm before Irene, but I don’t want to put anything important under that general area because it would kind of be like asking for the roof to collapse. Still, the only way I can think of to make that room work involves putting my bed right under where the leak is. I really want to move that room around, though, because Noni said I can use her desk that’s in there as a work station. I am seriously sick of working from the couch, even though it’s kind of comfy.

Still, I’m really excited about getting my dresser back.

I did something I thought I could never do this past Saturday. I really want to write about it, but it’s hard. I tried writing a poem about it, but so far all I have is a bunch of fragments that could be a poem. Still, I’m really proud of myself. I feel a lot better, and I’m not regretting my decision… which was one of my fears.

I need to create a writing schedule, but the thought of doing it kind of overwhelms me. I’ve even created half-assed schedules, and those overwhelmed me enough. It boils down to being afraid of actually doing it — “it” meaning making a living off of writing — or failing; whether I become successful or fail, I’ll still no longer have the goal of becoming a professional writer. It’s been my goal for so long that I am not sure how to be apart from it now that I’m actively pursuing it.

♦

I really do feel a lot better now that this is all off my mind. I even have a mini To Do list now:

  • write short story for graphic novel (goal: 5,000 words)
  • create article schedule
  • submit “Outlaw Love Story”

What do you wish you could get off your mind?

Off My Mind: I Hate Waiting

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I’m good at a few things, but I’m not good with waiting. Patience is most certainly not my virtue. Everyone who knows me knows this. Admittedly, since meeting Mike, I’ve gotten a lot better, because patience is his virtue; it’s hard to always have a hot head when the person you spend the most time with is so relatively calm.

Still, I’m not good at playing the waiting game.

Right now, two people I am very close to are wondering if they have cancer. Breast cancer. And I can’t do anything other than wait, the thing I suck most at. I’m trying my hardest to just write this story right now — that superhero story I tweeted about last week — but I just can’t, and I have to admit that I’m just too weighted down by all of this waiting to really concentrate.

Watching Grey’s Anatomy — one thing that always takes my mind off of all the things that bother me — is not helping, because I’m on Season 5 and Izzy is battling cancer. It’s just everywhere right now and I’m having a hard time dealing with it. Noni and Aunt Martha are battling breast cancer, Aunt Rikki may be battling breast cancer, and now someone else I love — who I’m not going to name just yet because it’s too early and I’m not sure who knows, so there’s no sense in freaking anyone out right now — may be battling breast cancer too, and I’m sick of waiting.

I’m just not good at it.

The Ring

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Mike completely surprised me when he officially asked me to marry him. I’d been suspecting he might ask me, but chalked it up to me being a girl when nothing happened at dinner. I can honestly say I was surprised when he asked, which is good, because despite the many times I thought he was going to do it, I was disappointed in myself for even thinking it because it would ruin the big surprise.

(In case you’re a guy and you’re wondering: Yes, we women are very complex, slightly crazy creatures. Someone should pay us for being this weird; it’s a lot of work.)

After he asked me, he told me that he had a ring, which threw me completely off guard because I thought he asked because we always ask each other. We’ve talked about it a thousand times. We’ve even talked about our wedding party and who would be what in the wedding. He always said one day he would officially ask me. He said that he didn’t have the ring on him, though, and that Britt had it because it was their grandmother Nanny’s.

When it comes to our families, Mike and I are almost the same person. We love our families fiercely, especially our grandparents. My relationship with Noni and Popi and how I feel about them is pretty much the same as Mike’s relationship with his Nanny and Poppy. I never got to meet them, but I know all about them.

So when he told me that the ring he was giving me had been Nanny’s, was passed down to Britt, and that Britt wanted to give it to me because she loves me, I teared up. I always thought I was the type of girl who wouldn’t cry when the Big Question was asked, but I did, so here we are.

“Text Britt and see if she’s home!” he said excitedly as he drove. “Actually, call her!”

She answered right away. “Hey, are you home?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said. “What’s up?”

“Put her on speaker!” Mike almost sang out.

I told Britt to hold on and put her on speaker.

“Hey,” he said. “Would you mind if we stopped by?”

“Sure,” she said. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just gotta pick up a ring.” I could hear the smile in his voice, and I knew she could, too.

“Oh!” she said. “Yeah, come over!”

It's so delicate, so gorgeous.

It's so delicate, so gorgeous.

When we got to her house, she was elated. “I always knew you’d be my sister!” she said. She handed the ring to Mike and he started to put it on my finger. Nanny’s fingers were really small, though, so I couldn’t get it on past the second joint of my finger. Britt came to the rescue, though, and told us that her boyfriend Tyson has a friend who can size it for us. Leave it to my future sister-in-law to have everything in order! She really is a lifesaver. For the time being, we put it on my chain where I was wearing my promise ring (since the skin underneath that ring was getting all irritated from having water trapped under the ring).

Before we left, she said, “I’m so excited! Now we can start planning the wedding!” It didn’t hit me until hours later that…

  • Holy shit, I have to plan a wedding! 8O
  • Holy shit, I get to plan a wedding! :lol:

(Remember guys, we women are weird like that.)

I’m ecstatic. Last night, while watching Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix, I tried out my future name: “Mrs. Michael Campbell,” “Elizabeth Kaylene Campbell,” “Mrs. Campbell,” “Elizabeth Campbell,” “Liz Campbell,” and “Mike and Liz Campbell.” It makes me giggle like a three-year-old every time, because it sounds so good.

And, even though I put the ring away until it gets sized so that nothing happens to it, today I’m wearing it on my pinky because I can’t not wear it. Strangely enough, I feel naked without it.

Wearing it on my pinky today.

Wearing it on my pinky today.

We don’t have a date set yet because we’re broke, but as soon as we decide on what we want — we already have an idea, but it’s not final — we’ll probably be able to set a date based on how long it’ll take for us to save up. We’re in no rush, but oh man, I can’t wait.

Liz Campbell. Heehee.

PS: I have a lightbox plugin, so if you click on the pictures in this post, you can see them full size and really see how beautiful this ring is. I’m honored that it’s been passed to me. It means so much.

One Title Does Not Fit This Post

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I don’t really know how to say this, so I’m just going to say it: I found out yesterday that Noni’s tumor grew a little. I know that “a little” isn’t anything to freak out about, but I can’t help but think, “What the fuck? The hormones were supposed to shrink it, not let it grow.” I’m trying to stay positive and not freak out, but it’s bothering me. Her doctors are going to reevaluate the hormone treatment and see if they should try something else, or if she’s going to need surgery to have it removed like they originally planned, or what. I don’t have many more details than that. I think they’re going to do some more testing on the tumor. Honestly, I kind of went into this numb zone where I didn’t hear much else beyond “tumor grew a little,” and I’m kind of afraid to ask someone because I kind of feel like an asshole for missing most of the conversation.

Because I don’t really want to think or talk about that, I guess I’ll tell you about my second least favorite subject: My latest visit with my rheumatologist!

I saw him on on the 21st, and after waiting an hour like always, finally got into an exam room. I saw one of the nurses first. She took my blood pressure, asked me about medications, then went through a whole list of questions, like, “Do you have any joint pain? Headaches? Chest pain?” etc. Some of them were relevant, but most of them weren’t. I told her about my six-day headache, and she was kind of surprised. I forgot to tell her about my switch from oral birth control to the Mirena, so when my doctor came in I made sure to tell him about both the headache and the Mirena. He didn’t seem concerned about the headache, though. (It did, by the way, finally go away on the 23rd. I haven’t had one since, knock on wood.)

We talked about my Tramadol and how I’ve been on 25mg and how it’s radically helped my joint pain, and he seemed satisfied with that. He asked me if I’d started Tai Chi or anything like that and I told him I had planned to, but lost my job so couldn’t afford it. We also talked about my UTI symptoms. After telling me I needed to get a urinalysis done that day and get blood work done in two to three months, he asked if I’d followed up with my PA-C at my regular doctor’s. I hadn’t, and hadn’t even thought about it, so he said I should follow up with her… and also with Dr. Lichter.

Dr. Lichter is a Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation specialist. He’s the one who did several nerve conduction tests on me, all of which came back fine, and then told me to get a gym membership and sent me on my way. I didn’t have a problem with him until then. I have a huge problem with doctors dismissing health problems when they can’t quickly diagnose them. He might be a fantastic doctor, but he obviously didn’t know what to do with me and didn’t think he needed to try anything else. I know I’m a mystery. I’ve had countless doctors tell me that. My blood work is wily. Honestly, if I were a doctor, I might have reason to think I was a drug addict just looking for a prescription, or at the very least, a hypochondriac. Unfortunately, before my daily dose of Tramadol, my joint pain was very real and definitely not just a twinge here and there that I freaked out over. This shit kept me up at night on many occasions that I’d rather not remember. This shit interfered with my life on many levels. If I’m a hypochondriac, I’m a really good one.

Dr. Greco wrote my PA-C’s office and Dr. Lichter’s office on the “copy to” part of the blood work order, and told me he’d see me in six months, and to follow up with Pam (PA-C) and Dr. Lichter in the meantime. I know I don’t have to see Dr. Lichter. I’d definitely rather not waste the $40 copay. Hell, I can’t even afford any of my copays right now, so I’d really rather not waste it on a doctor I don’t like and don’t want to see. I’m going to make an appointment with Pam and see what she thinks. Honestly, I’m not sure what the next step is. My symptoms are, for the most part, finally being managed. I could just walk away and be content with taking several medications — Tramadol, Miralax, a slew of vitamins — for the rest of my life. At the same time, though, I still really just want to know what the hell caused all of this. It’s kind of hard to justify more sleuthing, though, when my symptoms are being managed.

I did my urinalysis that same day, and the next day got a call from Dr. Greco’s office. I have a bladder infection, and am on Cipro. I can’t even think of how many times I’ve had bladder infection or UTI symptoms, had my urine tested, and came back with nothing. I had it so bad one time, I was screaming and crying. (I think I may have even gone to the ER, but it was a long time ago so I’m not positive.) I’m shocked that something actually showed up this time. I’ve been feeling like shit for a couple months now.

Cipro sucks. You can’t take it within so many hours of magnesium, calcium, or milk product, or with any of those things, so I am having a hard time remembering to take it. I take all of my pills in the morning after breakfast. I can’t take Cipro then because I usually have some kind of milk product; if I don’t have cereal for breakfast, I usually drink coffee with cream. It’s definitely annoying.

I’m also annoyed because I had a urinalyses when I had my annual at my gynecologist’s, and apparently the bladder infection didn’t show up. My symptoms then were worse than they are now. Speaking of my gynecologist, I missed my appointment today with her to check my Mirena. I completely forgot until I started writing this. The worst part is, their reminder machine called me yesterday, and I have it written down in my planner. I have completely lost track of my days.

Not having a job is killing me. I know I keep whining about this, but I’ve never had such a hard time finding one. At first, when I lost my job in May, I thought, Whoo, vacation! Now I am bored, a couch potato, have no life, and have no money. The bills are piling up. Most of them are medical bills, but I have to give my mom money for my car insurance next month, and then in October have to pay at least $50 toward my student loan. And if the school ever sends me my acceptance letter, I’ll need gas to get back and forth from New Haven. I’m only planning on taking one class (unless something changes drastically, like I get a work study at the school), but still.

I feel like I’ve been going through one of those really long rough patches, and I’m almost at the part where I’m going to get through it. It’s not just work related. It’s my health, family — everything. I feel like I’m on the edge, that I just have to keep swimming. It’s been a long, long rough patch, let me tell you. I cannot wait to get to the other side.

How did you get through a long rough patch?