Tag Archives: ppst

Life's like a jumprope

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Things have been very up and down lately. Right now I’m on vacation from work, so that’s a definite up. I’ve been sleeping in and even though I still have school to worry about, it’s not as stressful because I’m getting the sleep I need.

My biggest down right now is my symptoms. They are getting worse. Lately, my legs have been getting very weak out of nowhere. Since that last post, it’s happened twice more. Both times I had to sit down because my legs were like Jello and I didn’t want to collapse again. I realize at this point I should just call the rheumatologist, but I’m going on Monday anyway to get some blood test results. I’m hoping that there are answers in those results, or at least something to get me one step closer to the answer, but I am also completely pessimistic at this point.

Teaching is a huge up for me right now. Since deciding I am completely committed to becoming a teacher, I’ve been able to focus better and work harder toward that goal. (I still have no idea when I am going to have time to study for the PPST or when I am going to have time to even schedule the PPST. Luckily, my friend Cheryl told me that Sylvan Learning Center will do the test right there in their facilities, and the scheduling is flexible to your own schedule.) I’ve been thinking very hard about the lesson plan I have to write. I am, admittedly, a little behind in school, but I’m doing the best I can to catch up. I’ve accepted (for now, anyway) that my best is all I can do.

Mike and I got into a stupid fight last night, which got me down for a while but I’m over it now (and I’m sure he is, too). Things were going really well for a while, to the point where it all felt brand new and just completely amazing. Last night was both of our faults and, just like every other time we fight, we’ll just come out stronger.

Now you’re older and the weight is on your shoulder
Make the world a little colder
No more hiding in the old day
Be strong
Don’t you give up hope
It will get hard
Life’s like a jump rope

Today I'm gonna fly

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This last week has just totally depleted my energy. Even though at times I faced many difficulties, I’d have to say this week probably defined how the rest of the semester will go.

Last Friday I started my field placement for my EDU-200 (Principles of Education) class. (It will also help for my SED-225 [Introduction to Exceptional Individuals] course, since I have to observe for one hour an inclusive classroom and write a paper about the teacher[s] working in that classroom.) I fell instantly and irrevocably in love with the students in that classroom. This Friday only strengthened that love, and strengthened my passion for becoming a teacher. I bought a Praxis PPST preparation book this afternoon and am fully prepared and committed to obtaining my certification. How could I not, after spending two amazing days with around twenty amazing young individuals? These kids rock — there is no other way to put it.

During this week I also spent a lot of time trying to better understand the content in my MAT-105 (Mathematics for Elementary Education I) class, because I barely passed our first test with a 65 and spent the last week really struggling with the material (mainly Base Five and Base Two, which are these fancy number systems designed to make mean spirited wannabe teachers remember how hard it was when they grill a little kid during multiplication and division lessons). I spent a night totally depressed, because I was convinced that I could not be a teacher if I didn’t get this. I kept telling myself, You can’t be a teacher if you don’t even know how to do long division. Once I snapped out of it and really tried to get a handle on it, I started doing much better. (It also helped to have a brief recap of how elementary students do long division and determine the remainder; I was literally combining the remainder technique with decimals because it’s been that long. I blame the calculator.)

I spent several days in excruciating pain, and still am struggling. It does not help that I can’t take my medication for it because Tramadol gets me so fucked up that I cannot function normally on it. I had a great day at the school today — again, those kids are freaking awesome — but the constant twinges and the tension pain in my shoulders and neck that results from the last few days of pain made it very difficult. I still can’t take anything tonight because I have class early tomorrow morning. At the very latest, I can take it tomorrow after I go shopping for Mike (tomorrow’s his birthday)!

I am sticking with my decision to participate in NaNoWriMo this year, although I am not sure how I am going to study for Praxis and do that much writing. However, I miss writing so much that I can’t help myself. The characters of my NaNo novel have become so real to me, and I can’t ignore them even if I tried. I honestly think this is going to be the best thing I’ve written yet, as long as I can be disciplined enough to do it (and as long as my body permits me to do it).

As crazy as everything has been, today made it all worth it. I’m just taking it all one step at a time, doing the best that I can. Hopefully I’ll have this same attitude during midterms! :D

Now to look forward to being on vacation this week, because I finally put in for my vacation at work. I’m hoping that I can go to the spa and get a massage during the week, since I still have that gift certificate my uncle gave me for my birthday. But seriously, getting to sleep in and do whatever I want for a whole week with only school as a responsibility? Sounds just fine to me.