Tag Archives: sarah

Pain, rain, go away, come again another day

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I’m really sore from softball yesterday. How is this possible when I’ve been playing for a couple of months now and have never been sore? The only difference between yesterday’s scrimmage and the games on Thursdays past is that we won last night. I don’t see how winning makes you more sore.

Around eleven or so last night while I was working on a client’s website — it’s gorgeous, but I can’t take credit for the design; I only coded it — my hip started aching, and soon after that my shoulder and elbow played catch. By the time I gave up on my nonexistent internet connection and went to bed, my lower back was aching, too. Guess I spoke too soon, huh?

The last few days, I’ve been waking up super tired. I’ll wake up to my alarm, reset it for another fifteen, twenty, or thirty minutes, and then sometimes I’ll reset it again and again until I’m running late and have no choice but to get up. The rain today isn’t helping.

I wanted to blame this fatigue on Seroquel, since I just started my regular dose of 400mg again. (Before, I was taking 400mg of samples, which seemed to be stronger. I then switched to 300mg when my supply started getting low. Throughout this time, I kept missing doses, so it would make me really lethargic the morning and day after I took it. I finally had enough money for my regular prescription and have been back on it for a couple of weeks now.) Since I’ve been on it for a couple of weeks, I really don’t think I can blame the medication. I’m starting to think it has something to do with my Mystery Autoimmune Disease (which, by the way, needs a cooler name — like maybe a diagnosis).

Speaking of sleep, I had a dream last night that I was up at the campground my grandparents have a seasonal site at. I dreamed I was sitting on our site doing something — can’t remember what — when three of my old camp friends came over and sat down with me. We were all older than when we last saw each other. David had long hair, but was still super geeky and still got his balls busted nonstop by his cousins. Nate was still tall and thin, blond and blue eyed, but was taller than I remembered him. Phil didn’t look like himself at all. In fact, in the dream I could barely see him. We used to all play Manhunt* together with Phil’s little sister Sarah, their other cousins, and lots of the other campground kids.

It was an interesting dream, because I haven’t thought of these three guys since I was younger. I remember I had a super crush on Phil, who pretty much ignored me (even though we played video games together a lot of the time I came to his and Sarah’s site). Then for a while I had a crush on David, but he was way too geeky for me (although very cute). My younger sister Lauren and Sarah — who was about Lauren’s age — were really cool, and the three of us hung out a lot together more often than we hung out with the boys. We always had fun together, though. I’m not sure exactly when, but Sarah and Phil’s parents stopped camping, and so did Nate’s and David’s. The only cousins left — two brothers about Lauren’s age — we hadn’t really hung out with in the first place.

We stopped playing Manhunt. I’m sure the game went on without us with some other kids, but we never heard any games going and never bothered to start our own.

Maybe I’m thinking of this more now that my cousin Mindy is coming to visit in June. Lauren and I haven’t seen her in about six years. She’s my uncle Lonny’s daughter, and lives in Pennsylvania with her mom. She used to come up to Connecticut almost every summer. We played Manhunt (when we were allowed; for a long time our parents wouldn’t let us), slept in tents, wrote fan fiction, went swimming, hiked up to the “cave” (which is really just an old root cellar, but the view from the natural beach there is gorgeous), played Native Americans (after visiting the Pequot museum), did each other’s hair, and tons of other stuff.

Man, I’m getting nostalgic in my old age. At least this all got my mind off of the cramps I’ve got this morning. (Yeah, lucky me right now!)

*It was sort of like a big hide and seek game, except you split into two teams. The members of one team hid while the members of the other team hunted. You have to play at night, and bring a flashlight if you’re afraid of the dark. (;

Once upon a time, I married a woman and then I walked around downtown

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I dreamed a bunch of weird shit the night before last (and didn’t write about it until now because THE NOVEL is taking all of my writing time). I know normally dream posts are annoying, but seriously? They were so funny and weird that I think you’ll appreciate them.

In the first dream, I was getting married. I blame Jess and Sarah, because they were talking about wedding dresses on Twitter the other night. Anyway, in the dream, I wore this impossibly weird dress. It was made out of doily fabric that looked papier mached, and I have no idea how I got it on. The wedding was inside some house, and everything was ready. I walked down the aisle, and at the end, instead of Michael, was this chick.

She was pretty, I guess; the wedding veil didn’t really let me see her face. She wore the same kind of dress I wore, only quite a few sizes larger. I had no idea who she was.

We said our vows, and then everyone came to congratulate us. “Thank you,” I said. “I’m so happy. But I wish I’d married Michael.” Then people started getting ready for the honeymoon and saying that we should get ready. All I could think of was, I have to have sex with her? I don’t know her!

Just as I started to panic over that, the dream changed and I was in a kitchen with Sandy. We had to go to the hospital to go visit someone, so she and I left and started walking all over downtown. Except downtown was different, and we got lost. And chased by boys on bicycles. Who weren’t actually chasing us, you see. We ended up in an alley with these new, still drying concrete steps a few feet above our heads. Sandy jumped up to get to them, and since I’m a scaredy cat and don’t like to climb, I just stared anxiously up at her.

“Come on,” she said, and disappeared. I had no idea where she went. I grabbed a chunk of the wet concrete and the pieces of her journal from high school that she’d found, and went back to the house.

Her kids and a bunch of other kids were there, waiting for me, so I started rounding them up and brought them to a part of the house where they could play. There was this really small baby who could walk and talk, and then Sandy magically showed up.

“I went to the hospital,” she said when I asked her where she had gone.

Then suddenly I was standing outside of the house I’d gotten married in, wearing a normal dress and standing next to Mike, who wore a tuxedo.

“Your limo’s here,” someone said. “Enjoy your honeymoon!”

We got into the limo and rode off to our honeymoon, whatever that was.

And then I woke up* because I really had to pee.

I don’t know what happened to my new wife. I’m kind of worried that she might come after me for the whole $10 I’ve got to myself.

*Cliche, because I save all of the not cliche for THE NOVEL.

Warning: Do not take more than the recommended dose.

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This weekend has been crazy so far!

Mike and I got into another fight last night, the kind where it seems bad at the time but afterward you look back and it’s just kind of comical. We both basically dared each other to break up with the other, when obviously neither of us want to do that.

Earlier I hung out with Sandy and her sister Mary. We drank wine and watched The Hitcher, which was kind of lame. The only good part was when the male lead got torn apart by an eighteen wheeler. It also didn’t hurt that Sophia Bush played the female lead, and I have a huge crush on her. (The three of us came to the conclusion that it was all in her voice. It’s so husky and oooh! :D ) Sandy and I went home at about eleven, because we were all tired and Sandy is sick with a vicious sinus infection. (She also totally OD’ed on cough medicine, and missed breakfast this morning. She’s cut off.)

At about midnight I finally answered Mike’s frantic calls, because he knew I was mad and he wanted to talk about it. (Yes, I am still shocked. Heh. We’ve been getting really good with the communication thing as of late. I’m loving it. The last really serious relationship I was in had zero communication. I always felt like I was talking to a drunk and high wall.) He also had a terrible migraine-like headache, so I ended up coming over around 1:30 this morning to keep him company and to talk more.

It’s so weird. I have never experienced this kind of love. I know love is only a silly four letter word, but it really doesn’t come close to describing how I feel. I was so afraid to fall in love with him. Not only was I afraid of being hurt, but because of that past relationship I mentioned earlier I didn’t think I was worth it. I was so damaged, in so many ways. It’s amazing to think of how far I’ve come since I first met Mike. He has really helped me through, and I don’t think he even knows it.

I got way off track there. Heh.

I had plans for breakfast this morning with Lena, Sarah, Everett, Sandy and Nikki. I also made Mike come, because he loves Top o’ the Morning — the little diner we go to for breakfast — and their corned beef hash. (They make it FRESH.) Anyway, I barely got ready in time, because by the time I got home and went to bed it was nearly five in the morning. I also got woken up at 7:30 this morning, and woke up at 8:30 to get ready. I jumped in the shower, but got face wash in my eye — the kind that has those little scrubby beads — and I couldn’t get it out at first. I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital, it hurt so bad. (I was afraid the little bead may have scratched my cornea or something crazy like that.) By the time I got dressed, it was 9:40 — and we were all meeting for ten. I tried to call Sandy, but couldn’t get her. Then Nikki called me and said she wasn’t sure if she was going to make it, because her grandfather fell! (I hope he’s okay. I tried calling her to see how he was doing. My grandfather has fallen twice now, and it scares the hell out of me.) Then Lena texted me and said she was going to be twenty minutes late. I assumed Sarah and Everett were on their way, and Mike called to say he was on his way.

I got there first. Mike met me and got us a table, and then Lena came a few minutes later. She said Sarah wanted to sleep in and she couldn’t get Everett. We had a nice time, though, even if Mike had to run to make it to work and it was all rainy and crappy out. When I got home I finally heard from Sandy, who had OD’ed on cough medicine and whatnot last night — lol — and had basically been comatose up until she texted me. (Firefox doesn’t seem to think that “texted” is a word. Heh. Come on, Mozilla, get with the times!) I had also invited Joan and Sean, but Joan already had plans to go to the Big E and Sean had to work. Most of us may hang out later.

The pisser now is, I planned on going back to sleep when I got home. Unfortunately, everyone else is up now and naturally since I don’t have a bedroom — that’s a post for another day — I can’t lay back down. Not unless I want to lay there for no reason. So I guess I’m doing homework. Sigh.