Tag Archives: sean s.

Warning: Do not take more than the recommended dose.

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This weekend has been crazy so far!

Mike and I got into another fight last night, the kind where it seems bad at the time but afterward you look back and it’s just kind of comical. We both basically dared each other to break up with the other, when obviously neither of us want to do that.

Earlier I hung out with Sandy and her sister Mary. We drank wine and watched The Hitcher, which was kind of lame. The only good part was when the male lead got torn apart by an eighteen wheeler. It also didn’t hurt that Sophia Bush played the female lead, and I have a huge crush on her. (The three of us came to the conclusion that it was all in her voice. It’s so husky and oooh! :D ) Sandy and I went home at about eleven, because we were all tired and Sandy is sick with a vicious sinus infection. (She also totally OD’ed on cough medicine, and missed breakfast this morning. She’s cut off.)

At about midnight I finally answered Mike’s frantic calls, because he knew I was mad and he wanted to talk about it. (Yes, I am still shocked. Heh. We’ve been getting really good with the communication thing as of late. I’m loving it. The last really serious relationship I was in had zero communication. I always felt like I was talking to a drunk and high wall.) He also had a terrible migraine-like headache, so I ended up coming over around 1:30 this morning to keep him company and to talk more.

It’s so weird. I have never experienced this kind of love. I know love is only a silly four letter word, but it really doesn’t come close to describing how I feel. I was so afraid to fall in love with him. Not only was I afraid of being hurt, but because of that past relationship I mentioned earlier I didn’t think I was worth it. I was so damaged, in so many ways. It’s amazing to think of how far I’ve come since I first met Mike. He has really helped me through, and I don’t think he even knows it.

I got way off track there. Heh.

I had plans for breakfast this morning with Lena, Sarah, Everett, Sandy and Nikki. I also made Mike come, because he loves Top o’ the Morning — the little diner we go to for breakfast — and their corned beef hash. (They make it FRESH.) Anyway, I barely got ready in time, because by the time I got home and went to bed it was nearly five in the morning. I also got woken up at 7:30 this morning, and woke up at 8:30 to get ready. I jumped in the shower, but got face wash in my eye — the kind that has those little scrubby beads — and I couldn’t get it out at first. I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital, it hurt so bad. (I was afraid the little bead may have scratched my cornea or something crazy like that.) By the time I got dressed, it was 9:40 — and we were all meeting for ten. I tried to call Sandy, but couldn’t get her. Then Nikki called me and said she wasn’t sure if she was going to make it, because her grandfather fell! (I hope he’s okay. I tried calling her to see how he was doing. My grandfather has fallen twice now, and it scares the hell out of me.) Then Lena texted me and said she was going to be twenty minutes late. I assumed Sarah and Everett were on their way, and Mike called to say he was on his way.

I got there first. Mike met me and got us a table, and then Lena came a few minutes later. She said Sarah wanted to sleep in and she couldn’t get Everett. We had a nice time, though, even if Mike had to run to make it to work and it was all rainy and crappy out. When I got home I finally heard from Sandy, who had OD’ed on cough medicine and whatnot last night — lol — and had basically been comatose up until she texted me. (Firefox doesn’t seem to think that “texted” is a word. Heh. Come on, Mozilla, get with the times!) I had also invited Joan and Sean, but Joan already had plans to go to the Big E and Sean had to work. Most of us may hang out later.

The pisser now is, I planned on going back to sleep when I got home. Unfortunately, everyone else is up now and naturally since I don’t have a bedroom — that’s a post for another day — I can’t lay back down. Not unless I want to lay there for no reason. So I guess I’m doing homework. Sigh.

Caution: Real post ahead!

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My life has been an Alanis Morissette song for the last couple of days. This morning when I woke up to the sound of my uncle’s cell phone going off, my first thought was, “what the fuck, not again.” My second thought was, “something doesn’t feel right; it feels later.” My third thought, after turning and looking at the time on my alarm clock, was vocalized: “Fuck!”

It was nine — the time I was supposed to be in work for. For some crazy reason, my OCD went on vacation last night and allowed me to set my alarm wrong! I frantically called my boss, threw on some clothes, stopped at Dunkin Donuts and the whole time I was doing this I was hoping maybe I was dreaming the whole thing. Luckily, my boss was very understanding about it. He asked me, “why do you think I get up at five every morning? That way, even if I oversleep I’m not late!”

Needless to say, I think I’m going to be checking my alarm a hundred thousand times, instead of the usual fifty thousand. :D

Anyway, here are those pictures I promised:

Love on my wrist

Me and my Love

And here are a few bonus ones:

Hiding my face
Don’t look at me! I’m drunk!

Mike and Eugene
Mike, with his classic “fuck you,” and Eugene

Sean, doing a handstand
I can’t believe he did that drunk and didn’t fall

Sandy and me
Sandy got sentimental and insisted on us taking a picture together

Sandy and me, again
She made me take ANOTHER drunken picture with her. She must hate me.

This was a couple of weeks ago, after the wake. We decided to try and have some fun, because we thought Liane would want us to go out and do just that.

I thought I’d harass you all just one more time:

Jenna, founder of Rising Above, recently announced her latest book project. She is collecting letters from survivors of abuse, to themselves or their abusers. If you have a MySpace account, you can view the event posting here, or you can email Jenna for more information.

If you know anyone who might be interested, please pass this on!

To tattoo love on her wrist

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I got ink yesterday. I went with Mike to Beauty Mark, where Sean is apprenticing, and got the word Love on the inside of my left wrist. I’ll post pictures later. Sean touched up Mike’s Spawn tattoo as a sort of practice run. Then when Sean got out of work we picked him up and hung out for a little bit. I’m slowly realizing how difficult it is to perform daily tasks when your wrist is smothered in A+D. Not easy. I leave little smears wherever I go. Heh.

I’m really glad that I’ve been hanging out with Sean again, even though the circumstances behind the whole thing are beyond sucky. Even Mike is happy, because now he has another guy to chill with and talk about comics. I always feel a little left out of these conversations, because I may be a nerd but I’m not a comic book nerd. :D

Anyway, my Visual Basic class is starting so I’ve gotta run. I swear I’ll write a real post later.

So far, so good, oh well

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Right now I’ve got about two and a half hours of downtime until my next class. My Painting I class let out early, at about 12. So far I’ve eaten a bagel and smoked a cigarette. Woo. My phone is dead now, too, so I can’t even call anyone to chat. I think I might go down to my car and get my notebook so I can write.

I got wake and mass info for Liane last night. If anyone needs it, you know how to get in touch with me. I’m going with Sandy and Sean S. for about 5.

My first Painting I class was okay. She just went over the syllabus and kind of told us how the class is going to go. So far, it sounds like it’s going to be fun. At least, I won’t have to study or take any exams. Besides, I get to paint! The only problem is, between Painting I and Crafts, I have to buy a lot of supplies. Luckily I already have most of the colors for Painting I as well as some other stuff, so I only need to buy a couple of other colors, get a portfolio and get a smock. I also need new brushes; my old ones fall apart as I paint, so they’re kind of crappy in the first place.

Anyway, I’m in the library and I’m terrified that I’m going to get kicked out, since I’m not doing anything for school and all of the computers are taken. Heh. I’m going to try and read some blogs while I can and maybe update my Twitter before I go get my notebook and start my Tent City series. Which reminds me, I lost the piece of paper I wrote notes on for all of that….

How do you put a title on this?

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Why, oh why did I think it would be a good idea to stay late today? I normally work from 9 in the morning until 1 in the afternoon, but since our offices were closed on Monday I agreed to put in extra hours today and Friday. Normally, I wouldn’t really care but a) Indianapolis is not gonna pay for itself and b) I need to catch up on work. Here I am.

It wouldn’t be so bad if what I was working on, well, worked. My task is to create image rollover effects using just CSS and XHTML, rather than clunky old JavaScript. In theory, this is easy. I tried doing it from scratch and it wasn’t working entirely right. I believe that Google was made for a reason, and I proved myself right again by finding something relatively simple that I could build upon. Well, all is working fine and dandy.. except now the images are displaying vertically, instead of horizontally. In my mind all I can think of is, I have all. day. to work on this and get it right. Oh, shoot me. I basically picked the worst day to stay late. Sigh.

Anyway, Everett contacted me and told me that the wake for Liane will be at Woodtick Memorial. He’s not sure of the when yet, but he said he’ll keep me posted. I’m going to try like hell to go. I still feel sort of guilty for not going to Devon’s wake or funeral, and I’d hate to miss Liane’s. Personally, I hate funerals and wakes. The last funeral I went to was for my Grandpa Wish. It was more of a memorial, because he’d been cremated, but it was also a military funeral and it was really hard to get through. Before that I went to Chef B’s wake. That sucked, too. It was open-casket, but he just looked so.. different. All of the light and personality was just gone. So it’s kind of a double-edged sword for me; I love the few memories I do have of Liane, and I’m not sure if I want my last of her to be in a casket, but at the same time I wish I’d gone to Devon’s wake/funeral, so I could have had that goodbye.

One thing I do know is, my friends need me. I have friends who were much closer to her than I was, and I know they are all taking it hard. I really would like to be there for them, even if it’s sucky for me. Another sucky part of it is, I haven’t seen some of these friends in a while. I feel kind of guilty for letting it go this long, only to be reunited because of a mutual friend’s funeral. It makes me feel like a bad friend. I felt the same way at Grandpa Wish’s memorial service. I hadn’t seen Grandma Wish or him in a few years, even though they were like grandparents to me growing up. I haven’t seen Everett since New Year’s Eve a couple years ago, and I haven’t seen Leena since Sandy and Bearrin broke up. I don’t know if Sean S. is going, but I haven’t seen him since I worked at Toys R Us. Mike saw him a few days ago.

Sigh. Well, I’m going to take a smoke break now. 3:00 is forever away.