2012 So Far: It’s All Coming Together

I’ve been horribly lacking in the blogging department lately. I’d apologize, but I’ve been accomplishing a lot. As some of you know, my parents, sister, and I moved in with my grandparents about six years ago. The house is a three-family home, and each apartment is a one-bedroom. Originally, my great-grandmother lived on the first floor and my grandparents lived on the third floor. My great aunt lives on the second floor. When we moved in, my sister and I moved in with my grandparents on the third floor, and my parents moved in with my great-grandmother on the first floor. It was supposed to be temporary, so we literally slapped down mattresses in the middle of each apartment. When Popi got sick, he and Noni moved downstairs and my parents came upstairs. Mike moved in with us on the third floor. Popi passed away. Our apartment continued to look like a hostel rather than a home.

For years, we planned on moving things around, making it look better, but for one reason or another (conflicting schedules, procrastination, etc), it never quite happened. We did finally empty out our storage unit and move everything into the cellar. Mom rearranged the bedroom. I decided to stop waiting for any kind of collaborative effort and took it upon myself to rearrange my sister’s and my room, what was originally our grandparents’ dining room.

For the past six years, our mattresses sat on an angle in the middle of the room, leaving only a slim pathway between the living room and kitchen. It’s still not done, but I moved a lot of furniture around, went through all of my things and took out several garbage bags, vacuumed, dusted… and ended up with this:

Coming together...

Coming together...

There’s still a huge walnut desk and dry sink that need to be moved downstairs so that Noni can use them again (the dry sink is just for decoration), but it’s coming together nicely. Mostly, I’m proud of myself because I thought I couldn’t do anything like this anymore (moving furniture around). I thought it’d be too much on my body… which it was, but I did it anyway. And you know what? Every day after I moved furniture, I felt a little better. Sure, I popped a lot of Tylenol and Tramadol at night after lifting, heaving, and tugging all day, but the sense of pride I felt way outweighed the pain.

I’ve lost a little momentum now, but can’t do much more anyway until the desk and dry sink come out. I have “before” pictures and I can’t wait to show you them with the “after” pictures I’m going to take. I know it’s probably not such a big deal, but knowing I did this all by myself is a big deal to me. Take that, joint pain! Plus, getting anything done around here is a big deal anyway. We’ve all been sardined in here for so long that everyone’s sort of gotten comfortable with it, even though we all complain about the lack of space.

I printed out the first draft of Secondhand Mom, and as I put the pages into plastic page protectors in a binder, I noticed a lot of continuity errors just from speed reading as I went through the stack. I sort of want to edit Secondhand Mom before I work on Sade On the Wall, but I’m not sure yet. I think SOTW will be easier to turn into a second draft, because there aren’t any continuity errors, just some style issues, accuracy with some description, and maybe pace. The more editing and revising I do, the more I love it.

Speaking of which, I’ve edited and revised another short story to be published as an ebook soon. I just need to format the manuscript and haven’t had the chance to do it. I did design a cover, though, and after sleeping on it for a few days, I’m really happy with it and won’t be making any changes. At some point, I’m going to write up a quick post about designing covers.

And continuing with the writing theme… I found a website that has tons of freelance copywriting jobs, and was thinking about trying to make that into my part-time income, but then decided I’d rather spend that time working on my fiction. So, one of my goals for this year have changed, just a little.

I’m really anxious to get this room finished, though, because my whole reason for rearranging it was to create a more organized and comfortable work space for myself. I have a hard time doing any writing when I feel cluttered.

I’ve also been thinking about going back to Facebook. Hear me out. I know I said I wouldn’t, but it’s becoming more and more clear to me that, for marketing purposes, I do probably need to be there, to some extent. I want to get my hands dirtier with self-publishing and submitting stories to markets so that when I start querying Sade On the Wall, I have somewhat of a name and readership built up for myself. I was talking with a friend one night over dinner about self-publishing and she asked me if she could do it, too. “Sure,” I said. “You’d even have a leg up on me, because you still have a Facebook, with friends and family on it who’d support your work.” And it’s true. I gained a lot of readers through Facebook. Half the time, I didn’t even know people were reading until it was casually mentioned, or someone emailed me about a blog post I’d written. I’ve decided that, if I do go back, my personal profile will be completely locked down, and I’ll use it only to run a page focused on my writing. That way, I won’t have to deal with most of the things I hated about Facebook. I haven’t completely decided yet, though.

Speaking of social media, I now have an author profile on Goodreads. This isn’t nearly as cool as it sounds. It’s still the same profile I had before, just more writerly. I’m still relatively unknown… but I’m hoping this will give me a leg up. Maybe I won’t have to return to the devil Facebook. ;)

However — and this is cool — I discovered that Goodreads authors can put their ebooks up for sale there… so “Moon Prayer” is now available on Goodreads. “Moon Prayer” is still not available on Amazon… but De told me it’s because Smashwords and Amazon are at some kind of standstill for negotiations, so I need to upload it to Amazon myself. This is on my mile-long To Do list… which is only getting longer, but I love every minute of this.

I’ve been following De’s successes closely for a long time now, but recently started following the success story of Amanda Hocking as well, and the more I read about either of them, the more possible this all seems. I’m going to be an author. It doesn’t feel far-fetched, like some kind of pipe dream. It feels like a real dream. It still scares me, but in a good way.

If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough.

via Pinterest

It’s freeing.

Aside from all that, I’ve been reading, experimenting with clothing and makeup, contemplating cutting my hair, spending time with friends and family, saving my ass off for a Mac and an apartment, snuggling with my cat, loving Mike and falling in love with him over and over, and just enjoying life in general.

It’s all coming together.

Holding My Head Above the Water

It has come to my attention that I’m not happy. I want my life to be a certain way and, rather than feeling bad that it isn’t that way, it’s time to sit down and decide A) how I want my life to be, and B) how I’m going to make that happen.

How I Want My Life to Be

I want to spend most of my time writing, and I want to get paid to do so. I want to have my books published and then write more books. I want to write articles for other creatives to help them market themselves.

I want to get married and have babies, but I don’t want to have any babies until I publish at least one novel.

I want to get a grip on my mystery autoimmune disease. I’m sick of spending the day taking medication with no results. Throughout the last week, I’ve taken more Mobic, Tylenol, and Tramadol than I fear my body can handle, and the worst part is, it barely helps until all three are in my system. I’m terrified that I’m developing a stomach ulcer or something.

How I’m Going to Accomplish This

I’m going to run through Sade On the Wall and get it ready for an editor. This means that I need to write the new first chapter that’s been sitting in my head, and make a few adjustments to the chapter where Sade and her brother go to the community center. Then I’m going to find an editor who isn’t too expensive so that he or she can help me whip this manuscript into shape.

Then, when Sade On the Wall is out for query, I’m going to repeat these steps for Secondhand Mom.

In the meantime, I’m going to keep writing stories and articles, and I may even write another novel.

I’m not going to go back to school just because some people in my life — people whom I really, really love, and know mean well — think I should. I’m going to hold off until I really want to go.

I need to put myself first for a while and stop worrying about everyone else.

I can’t control everything. I can’t control my chronic pain, even though I try really hard. I can’t control my depression, even though I try really hard there, too. The lack of daylight is really not helping with my mood, so maybe it’s time to get a light box. It’s also time to start eating better: more fruits and vegetables, and more protein.

I’m also thinking about separating my more personal blog from this one. I want the focus of elizabethbarone.net to be my writing, not my aches and pains.

So, I need your advice.

  • Do you use a light box? What brand is it, and about how much did it cost? Does it help?
  • Would it be confusing if I used elizabethbarone.net to talk about writing and someotherwebsite.com to talk about my chronic pain, depression, etc? Am I annoying you with my digital indecisiveness?
  • Can you recommend any feel good foods or recipes that are healthy and would be convenient to take with me to work? (I usually only have a fifteen-minute break, so I don’t have a lot of time to heat anything up.)

Hugs are good, too. I just feel so overwhelmed. I hate to admit it, but there it is.

Appendectomy, Mass Power Outage, and NaNoWriMo!

What a week.

Mike had an appendectomy last Wednesday night, after I took him to the ER because I thought he had some kind of food poisoning or stomach bug. I so didn’t expect him to need surgery. I got like eight hours of sleep in three days because I worried so much and just couldn’t settle my nerves. Thankfully, he was only in the hospital one night and is recovering well. Just as I started to soothe my system into some semblance of normal, a Nor’easter hit us while I was at work Saturday afternoon.

For those of you lucky enough to not encounter one, a Nor’easter is a typical crazy New England snowstorm. We get tons of snow dumped on us, high winds, and very low temperatures. We’re pretty used to them… except we rarely get them this early. The snow was that wet, slushy, slippery kind, too, so I wasn’t looking forward to driving home in it with my currently crippled car. A coworker asked me to bring her home since her ride “couldn’t even get out of his driveway,” she said. I hated to say no, but I also really didn’t want to drive in it at all, never mind put someone else’s life in my hands in those conditions.

The store lost power twice in twenty minutes, so we ended up leaving like fifteen minutes early. The roads were a mess. She lives on a hill, of course, but had me drop her off at the bottom because she didn’t want me to risk getting stuck. I was already soaked from getting carts at work, so by the time I got home, all I wanted to do was cocoon myself in some sweats and blankets and sit by the radiator. Unfortunately, a few hours after I got home, we lost power.

We were out of power for four days (we lost it Saturday night and just got it back a few hours ago). Luckily, we have a gas stove on the third floor, so we were able to cook on it and boil water for different things. We also took advantage of the warm outside temperatures and opened up the blinds so that, during the day, we used the sunlight to warm up the house. Dad found a kerosene heater in the cellar and managed to find some kerosene in Thomaston (a town next to us), so he put that on the first floor so Noni and Biz Noni could stay warm. At night, I made myself into a human burrito in bed, and during the day we all bundled up. I can honestly say the only downside to this whole thing was not being able to take a shower, and not having a lot of laptop juice to write.

Mike’s mom got power earlier today, so he and I headed over this afternoon to take hot showers and charge some stuff. Naturally, a little while after we left, my mom texted me to tell me our power was back. As fortunate as we were throughout the last four days, I am definitely not complaining. There are still a lot of people out of power, though.

Between yesterday and today, I started working on my novel Secondhand Mom again. I decided a couple of weeks ago not to do the traditional NaNoWriMo this year, and decided instead to finish something I’d started during a previous NaNoWriMo. Secondhand Mom is actually almost done; yesterday, I went through the six or so documents I’d written different scenes in and moved them into the correct order in the master document the entire novel is in, and today I started writing another section of the novel. I had quite a mess on my hands yesterday, and since my laptop battery only last two to three hours, by the time I finished all of that, I only had forty minutes to actually write today. (I did a little writing yesterday, but mostly just a couple of “connecting” sections as I moved sections into the master document.) Altogether, I had 66,810 words before yesterday, and now have 65,414. It might seem like I made no progress, but believe me, I did; I actually had written the same scene twice — in two completely different ways — over a period of one year, and needed to scrap another section entirely because in the year or so since I wrote it, I completely changed my mind about how that character was going to come back. After today, I have only two documents I’m working on for this novel: the master one, and the section I’m writing now.

So it’s been a hell of a week. My family and extended family are all okay, and even though Mike is still sore and now has a sinus infection on top of everything, he’s okay, too. That’s all that matters to me.

How has your week been? How did you fare during the Snowpocalypse and the power outage? Are you doing NaNoWriMo? What’s your word count? (I guess mine would technically be 886, hahaha.)

To NaNoWriMo or Not to NaNoWriMo

I can’t decide whether I want to do NaNoWriMo again this year. We’re almost halfway through October, though, so if I’m going to do it, I need to decide soon so that I’ll have enough time for prewriting!

So far, I haven’t come up with an idea that I love enough to write an entire novel about… never mind an entire novel in a month! If the idea doesn’t hit me soon, I might just use the time to finish Secondhand Mom. Those characters have been banging around in my head lately, demanding for their stories to be finished.

Are you doing NaNoWriMo this year? What’s your novel about?

Add me on the NaNoWriMo site and I’ll add you back!

I Did It, and Other Things

I did it. I registered for ECE at the community college. I’m not matriculated just yet (because I’m a readmit and apparently there’s a specific period when they rematriculate readmitting students), but I submitted my readmission application, got my letter from the college saying they’ve received my FAFSA, and did all of this without having an anxiety attack of, “I CAN’T DECIDE, I CAN’T COMMIT.”

I did it.

And, I’m excited about it.

I’ll be able to register for my classes soon and then buy my books, and then I’ll officially be an ECE student. Last night as I was falling asleep, I thought, I’m going to get to teach kids how to talk! and that was the most exciting thing. The only thing that sucks is, I have to wait until January to start. It’s going to be 2012 before I’m officially in school again. That’s kind of a weird thought, even though it’s not actually so far away.

It’s probably a good thing, though, because I have plenty of time to get everything else in order. I’m looking for a second job, at least for during the holiday season. The one I have is only giving me an average of fifteen hours a week, which is nothing; every Friday, I pay a couple bills, and then I’m broke again. I have no extra money for gas or doctors’ copays, or vitamins, or anything. I keep asking for more hours, and they say more are coming or that they’re going to cross-train me in another department so I’ll have more hours that way, but so far, nothing. I’m only making $100-135 a week. If I were still a teenager, that’d be cool, but not so much now. I work my ass off at my job, and my manager — who is also human resources — is always commenting on how hard I work and how well kept the registers always are when I’m working, so you’d think I’d have cross-trained already or they’d at least through me another five hours a week, but no.

I’m not going to talk about that anymore, though, because it just frustrates me.

I’m still trying to come up with an idea for NaNoWriMo. Nothing appeals to me. At this rate, I might just use the time to finish Secondhand Mom instead of starting anything new. I don’t know, though; I hate the idea of not doing NaNoWriMo this year. I also hate that I keep talking and thinking about finishing Secondhand Mom, when all I have to do is just do it.

I bought a four-pack of Play Doh, because who said you have to be a kid to have fun? I haven’t opened it yet, though.

Speaking of fun, I discovered that my laptop has Windows Movie Maker on it, so I’m trying to come up with an idea for a video. I’m so glad I didn’t buy any video editing software. Someone told me I should have Windows Movie Maker but I couldn’t find it, so I’ve had my eye on some Sony video editing software for a while. I stumbled upon WMM the other day while digging through the Accessories section looking for I don’t even know what. Thanks for hiding that, Microsoft.

Maybe I’ll make a stop motion movie using my Play Doh.