If all else fails, I can say I held out for quite a long time before I jumped on the Google+ bandwagon. I couldn’t ignore my curiosity much longer, though, and when I opened my old Gmail account and found a message saying five people had added me to their circles, well… I kind of couldn’t resist. I didn’t know what to expect, though; I feared something too much like Facebook or, even worse, something too much like Google Wave and Facebook. Google+ pleasantly surprised me, though. I’m still learning how to use it, but so far there are a few things I really like about it.
The Google+ Stream
My Google account is already connected. It took literally no time at all to sign up. It pulled in my Google profile info and picture, and bam! I had a Google+ profile. (I’d like to see them take this a step further and allow some integration with services like Feedburner so that all new blog posts are automagically sent to Google+.) This also made Google+ easy to use because I already knew how to use Google’s other apps.
I can organize people I know into circles. Unlike Facebook, Google+’s privacy set up is simple and easy to use. You simply choose whether someone is family, a friend, an acquaintance, or someone you’re just following (like a fellow blogger, for example). Every time you post, you can decide who can see it.
Posts can be edited. How many times have you posted something to Facebook and then immediately smacked yourself in the forehead — either physically or mentally — because you misspelled something or pasted the wrong link? I know this feature may end up being abused, but I still think it’s really helpful.
You don’t have to accept anyone as a friend. Google+ works almost the same way as Twitter. You can follow anyone you want on Twitter… and on Google+, you can add anyone you want to your circles. You just may not see everything they post. There’s no pressure, no, “Why hasn’t Sally accepted my request?!” It’s just a simple way of staying connected to the people you care about.
Google+ is clean and yet gorgeous. I love its minimalist look. It makes it easy to focus on what’s important: the people in your stream. There are no ads. No clunky chat screens. It’s just you and your people. I have a feeling they took that cue from Twitter as well, but you can argue that Google has always used a clean design on their products. Either way, I love it.
Admittedly, there are a few things I haven’t explored yet. I’m interested to see what the Google+ pages are like. I am also curious about the videos. Are they connected with YouTube? I wouldn’t want to add a video to Google+ if it also didn’t go to my YouTube account. I also noticed that you can add pictures, and webcam chat, but have yet to try either out yet.
Google+ is a little slow; my cousin posted a picture of the ring her boyfriend got her last night and after refreshing her page a million times, it still didn’t show up. I have a funny feeling the stream is faster than profile pages. I also don’t like that you can’t create a vanity URL, something like plus.google.com/elizabethbarone. Still, this is a relatively new addition to the Google family, so I think any kinks will be worked out relatively soon.
What do you like about Google+? What do you wish would change? If you’re on Google+ and would like to add me to one of your circles, do it!
A few months ago, I was in the local newspaper for doing a weekly social media workshop here in my city. At that point, I’d become fully immersed in the business world — a world that although exciting at times, I hated because I just didn’t feel like I fit in. I felt that way for many reasons: I like expressive clothing and to talk to people, expressively, about things we have in common. At a business function, it’s all “business attire” and “business talk.” I felt stifled. I also felt strange because everyone else was always years older than me.
For a while, I wondered how I should approach the internet when it came to business. I already had a personal Twitter account, a personal Facebook, and a barely used LinkedIn account. I also, of course, had my blog, where I had been writing for years under my name, holding nearly nothing back. I talk a lot about depression, and swear a lot. Since part of my job in the business with my aunt was to help clients build their presence on social networking sites, I wondered what would happen if any of my clients wanted to be friends, or came across my blog. I kept the blog as it was, but went back and forth from a public Twitter stream to a private one, and made my Facebook completely private. I asked my readers for advice, and asked my aunt for advice. Her concern was that my blog and my Letters of Love site might affect the business.
I created a second Twitter account for my “business self,” but it rarely got updated. I kept my personal Twitter private for a while, but eventually switched it back to public. I left my Facebook private, but eventually kept getting messages and friend requests from business associates and clients, anyway, so I created a second Facebook for business only. Like my business Twitter, my business Facebook rarely got updated. I continued to blog, but never about work, unless the post was private (where I could divulge client names), or password-protected (where I kept all client names private). If I mentioned work publicly at all, it was a passing reference or pretty vague. I also continued to write for our company blog. After a while, it became exhausting updating all these different sites. I have no idea why I thought it would be better that way. I deactivated my business Facebook, deleted my business Twitter, and decided to use only LinkedIn for business. I still had to use my personal Facebook to maintain clients’ business pages, but I figured I’d deal with any friend requests or messages as they came. (For a while, I had a client who refused to email me and instead kept messaging my personal Facebook, which I checked less often than my business email.)
I stopped worrying about my personal blog and Letters of Love, but it took some time. Basically, I came to the decision that they were things I really enjoyed, and that I was not going to change just because there was a possibility that one of my clients might read it. I did, however, add a little “disclaimer” to my personal blog saying that it was my personal space and that I swear a lot.
Many employers now do a Google search to look at prospective employees’ Facebook pages and other online activities. I don’t think this is fair; if the person has a good resume, and has a good personality during the interview, that should be that. Online activities are part of a person’s personal life. Would an employer come to my house and watch how I live day-to-day as part of the interview process? To me, it’s ridiculous for an employer to judge someone based on a Facebook status that says, “I got drunk with friends last night.”
That said, I do think we need to take some precautions. We need to be aware that employers and apparently school boards might do a Google search of our names. We need to be further aware that we might be judged based on these things, whether we think it is fair or not. Then, we need to decide whether we care. I’ll be honest: Sometimes, it really bothers me that people I know read my blog. They might not have known something about me before reading, and now that they know, they might look at me differently. For example, not too many people in my life know that I used to cut myself. I write about it sometimes, though, and many people who read my blog — such as my mom’s friends — might have read about it, or might read about it eventually. I’d hate to run into one of my mom’s friends and wonder if she knows. At the same time, though, many people who read my blog also have a history of self-injury. It helps us to talk to each other, because we understand each other.
So, basically, I try not to worry about what other people think of me. I know that I am a good person, regardless of my struggles. I also know that I am a worthy, valuable worker, regardless of my struggles. When it does worry me, I have to decide whether the benefit for myself (and sometimes my readers) is greater than the risk of how an employer or anyone else might judge me. Sometimes, the decision is not easy, and it takes me a long, long time to make a decision at all.
Someday, I might run into a situation like Alexis’s. Honestly, Alexis, I’d be just as stuck as you are. I did think of something while I was writing this, though:
I also thought of a few tips for anyone concerned about their social networking privacy:
Set it to private. Most social networking sites offer the option for a private account. While this can make it difficult for others with common interests to find you, it guarantees that employers, business associates, and school boards won’t see your photos and tweets.
Think about what you’re posting, before you post it. Does anyone need to see a picture of you facedown in the gutter, or making out with that guy at the party? Did you call out of work and go to a movie instead? There are a lot of tagged pictures and videos on Facebook of me drunkenly singing karaoke, doing The Cupid Shuffle, or having a cigarette, but I’m not tabletop dancing or naked. My Facebook is still private, though, and only family, friends, and friends of my friends can see tagged photos of me.
Know your company’s social media policy. I know a few people who rant publicly about work and coworkers, but they use nicknames. Some companies might have specific policies, so make sure you know yours before you blog. The company Mike works for doesn’t even allow employees to say they had a bad night at work on Facebook. Obviously they can’t check private profiles, and I don’t think they actually enforce it too hard, but you never know; you could end up in a legal mess. Some companies don’t yet have a social media policy, but more and more are incorporating one into their handbooks.
Keep a separate blog. If you have a blog that your family reads regularly, you might not always feel comfortable posting there about certain things. You can always use the private and password-protected options (on WordPress, anyway), but you might also consider keeping a separate, possibly anonymous blog for when you need to vent and get advice.
What do you think? What precautions have you taken?
Sometimes, I really hate being an adult. Like when you have to keep your mouth shut even though you are being treated like shit. Or when you make an expensive mistake and have to pay for it, as opposed to when you were a kid and the grownups would be like, “It’s okay, no problem.” And how about the times when you really just want to curl up and cry, but there are too many people watching? Let’s not forget the big, life changing decisions you have to make on your own.
But life goes on, right?
Anyway, my staycation was really good. I spent every possible second with my family, especially since my cousin Mindy came to visit from Pennsylvania. I ignored my blog, Facebook, and (mostly) Twitter. Honestly, I can’t really say I missed it all that much. I’m starting to care less about the internet. (It’s not you — really!) I’ve just started to realize that there are more important things. I’m not really planning on deleting stuff, but I don’t really see myself being as much of a junkie as I was before the last ten or so days.
I wrote another blog post earlier, but can’t post it yet because it’s something I want to discuss with my parents before I talk to you guys about it. But don’t worry, everything’s good. I’ll talk to you all later!
I’m still trying to figure out this whole keeping work and play separate on the internet thing. In real life, I don’t have to tell my coworkers anything. But online? They can Google me and every. little. thing. ever. pops up. Suddenly I’m self-conscious about every swear used on my blog and wondering if they think I’m crazy since I run a pen pal project for people with depression. I put myself on display, but when am I going to get bit in the ass about it?
Because it’s gonna happen. And I don’t know what I’ll do when it does.
So I’ve been ignoring the possibility that I could lose a client because of Twitter sarcasm about having a bad day, or that someone could stumble upon my blogs about depression and suicide and cutting and fire me dead because that’s shit that people just aren’t comfortable with. I know who I am. I’m a person who’s got a lot to say and doesn’t want to censor anything. I want to tell the truth about the things I experience, see, think, and feel because if I don’t, who the hell else is going to? I want to talk straight up about my past and muse about my future. I know I have a hell of a lot of potential, and I know what I want to do with my life. But the what ifs of being this OUT THERE and HONEST are terrifying.
The people who know me love me because they know me. The people who don’t already know me and may want to hire me aren’t going to love me. They’re going to be looking for any reason not to hire me, because that’s what people do. Especially now that I’m getting my teaching certificate. What if my hypothetical principal finds out I used to cut myself or that I used to starve myself, and decides I’m just not mentally stable enough to teach a bunch of kids? What if I lose a big website client with the company I’m partnered with because of something I’ve written about? I can’t blog and not be real. I’m not funny, so I can’t write up a riot about how to make corn. I’m not a mother, so I can’t write about little girls shoving handfuls of sugar into their mouths. There are a lot of things I’m not.
But I know that I can’t not blog. I know that I can’t blog only about work. I know that I can’t blog only about mundane, blah things that no one cares about. (Unless my blog is already mundane and blah. Then you should just let me know, so I can quit while I’m ahead.) I have a compulsive urge to write about everything that I know I shouldn’t write about. And I can’t figure out how to keep my professional life from colliding with my writing. I mean, let’s face it: I don’t hold much back, especially over at Scars Can Speak.
So tell me, all of you bloggers who do it anyway without worrying: what’s the secret? What’s the trick? What do I do and how do I do it?
So, I’m trying to figure out this whole social media thing. I understand how to use it for business. I understand how to use it for personal stuff. It’s the two together that I have a problem with.
Everything was going well, until co-workers started friend requesting me on Facebook and I started maintaining our company’s page on Facebook. Instantly, the game changed. Obviously I couldn’t just deny their friend requests. That would be rude and difficult to explain to them face to face on Monday. Where I was once careless and didn’t give a shit about what got posted where or what I said, I was suddenly frantically deleting status updates, notes, comments — anything that might get me in trouble or frowned upon. People at work like me. They have no idea that I’ve got a potty mouth, so I didn’t want to dirty up my professional image.
Not too long ago, I noticed a comment on my blog from a co-worker. Obviously I don’t restrain my inner trucker around here; I figure, I pay for the site, so I should be able to say whatever I want, and fuck what people think. This is the way it should work, right? Wrong, probably. I can’t really write about work here, because who knows if something I say might upset someone. I should probably not swear, in case one of my clients finds this. I mean, you can Google my name and this blog is one of the first things you’ll find. Hell, my (now-private) Twitter account @elizawhat is on the first page when you Google “Elizabeth Barone.”
This is all very good for my internet rockstardom, but what happens if a client reads a blog post about my chronic pain, my depression, my miscarriage? What happens when a co-worker who might have it out for me reads a post with a whole slew of yet-to-be-invented profanities and turns me in to the big wigs? No one really wants to read about how shitty my entire April has been, or how so-and-so is being an even shittier friend.
Despite this blog’s title, things aren’t always so sunny around here.
I haven’t exactly been careful with the above mentioned Twitter account, either. I have been using it as if I were talking to friends, as opposed to potential clients and colleagues. I created a second account, @elizabethbarone, for my professional/business contacts, but do I really want to maintain two accounts just for me? Do I have to keep two separate personalities on the internet, just like I have in real life (work me, regular me)?
I envy those of us bloggers who can live off of their ads and other stuff, rather than having to worry about their bosses reading their blogs. I mean yes, I get that you should just keep certain things to yourself if you don’t want anyone reading it, but we all have our moments where we want to rant and get that ego-stroking feedback. We all want to share things with other people, which is what makes the blogosphere so fucking awesome.
But I ask you, is a disclaimer in my about page enough? Should I just yank all of this down and erase the regular me from the internet and strictly maintain the digital work me? How can I balance the two, when they so often bleed into each other?
