Last night I went into the living room, where everyone had just finished eating, to get some CDs to take downstairs to listen to while I wrote. I snapped the light on and looked down at my feet to see the CD I’d been looking for earlier and bent down for it. As I bent down I collided with a nearby TV tray, resulting in a nice gouge in my ass. I could immediately feel the blood seeping through my sweats (luckily I wore the red ones instead of jeans).

“Are you okay?” My grandmother asked.

“No, it’s bleeding through,” I said, continuing to dig through CDs. I grabbed the last one I needed and then headed for the bathroom.

“Need help?” My mom asked.

“I think so.”

Sure enough, there was a nice little gouge and a bubble of blood on my left cheek.

“Wow, you’re bleeding,” Mom said.

“I wasn’t kidding!”

She helped me bandage up and I said I looked like a Carebear.

“Yes,” she said. “Tender Butt Bear.”

Only I could do something like this.