I don’t know why I keep going back and forth between new career ventures. Every time I start the process for one, I hesitate, have a mini freakout, go into an unmotivated, want-to-fly-out-of-my-skin frenzy, and then the next morning I wake up and wonder if I’m completely crazy.

Hi, I’m twenty-three and I’m having some kind of not-quite-quarter-life* crisis.

This has been happening to me regularly for the past year, maybe a little longer. The thing is, the longer I sit still and can’t decide, the more anxious I become about it.

I need to decide, for my own sanity but also because I really need to change the direction my life is heading in right now. I keep telling myself that this isn’t forever, it’s just for now, but I’ve finally realized that telling myself that isn’t helping. (Of course, thinking in terms of forever doesn’t help, either, so…)

When it comes down to it, I don’t even know why this is so hard. I can go to school relatively easily. I have oodles of financial aid at my fingertips. I might have to pay back student loans after, but that’s after.

Maybe this is just one of those hurdles I have to get over, and once I do, life will start falling into place. Maybe I need to just stop thinking and jump.

Have you ever been in this position? What did you do?

*Of course, it might actually be a quarter-life crisis if I don’t live to be one-hundred.