Tag Archives: web design

Meet my six-month-old To Do list

Posted on by
5

A little over a month ago, I posted a list of things I’d been trying to get done for five months. While I got a lot of it done, I didn’t do it all — and it’s grown.

I’m going to try to get everything in purple done today, and everything with a * done this week.

UPDATE 02/08: I’m trying to get everything in blue done today (Tuesday).

UPDATE 02/09: Today is redrum.

UPDATE 02/10: Apparently trying to divide this list into days isn’t working for me, so from now on I’m just going to tackle this list like I did the last one: a little at a time.

  • Open IRA and transfer 401(k) to it*. My new job has 401(k), also, so I really want to get this moved as soon as possible.
  • Reorganize work area*. I organized most of my work area last month, but now that I’m not working from home anymore, I want to organize it so that it can be utilized solely for writing. The way I have it organized now, everything for work is within reach, and everything for writing… not really.
  • Pay back Mike. Poor Mike. He’s been keeping my nicotine levels stable and helping me out with anything else that he can. I feel horrible that I owe him so much money from Christmas and that he’s still helping me out. At the same time, it’s a nice feeling; like he says all the time, I’d do it for him. It’s so nice to be in a relationship like that.
  • Pay Mom for January, February, and probably March car insurance. More guilt ensues.
  • Put aside money for 2010 taxes. It’s a good thing I have until April, huh?
  • Edit first draft of Sade On the Wall and add chapters for second draft*. First, an outline!
  • Pawn sword*. I have a replica of a samurai suicide sword that an old boyfriend once bought me. At the time, I wanted to collect tons of sharp, pointy objects. It’s sat tucked between a couple of pieces of furniture for the last, oh, five or so years, because I’ve had nowhere to put it. Now that I’m older, I don’t even want to collect swords, nor do I want one in the house for when future Mini Liz and Mini Mike are roaming around. (Eek!) Plus? Hi, I’m broke! I’ve already tried one pawn shop but they don’t take weapons. I’m going to (try to remember to) try another one sometime this week.
  • Upgrade processor. I want a faster laptop, and I want to play Sims 3 without it crashing, dammit!
  • Edit “In the Darkness, It Waits” for Confluenza reading*.
  • Take car to Town Fair Tire to get tires checked out for leaks*.
  • Discuss final payment*.
  • Redesign personal sites. I’d like to redesign EKB Designs, Letters of Love, and my blog, so that when I’m ready to renew my hosting, I can launch some sexy-ass sites¹.
  • File tax return*.
  • Exchange Dad’s Christmas gift*. I am so late on this. Good thing the receipt lasts until March 31st.
  • Transplant dragon tree*. My poor little plant is way too big for the pot it’s in right now.

It never ends, I guess.

What’s on your To Do list?

¹All of my websites are still live at the moment, and my plan is definitely canceled. I’m starting to wonder if one of you were sneaky and renewed it for me. I’m thinking it’s a glitch on my host’s part, though, and while I’d love to be using my sites, I’m afraid that if I start using them again, they will get wiped and I’ll lose some data. Once I get back on my feet, I’m paying for three years in advance. It’s cheaper, and that way, I won’t have to worry about it again for quite some time.

*I want to try to get all of these things done this week!

I'm thinking about…

Posted on by
4

I keep thinking about the education field¹. The idea of getting up at the ass crack of dawn to go to work doesn’t thrill me, but I love, love, love the idea of working with kids. I also love the idea of making a difference.

Recently, I found out that my city’s community college is offering an Applied Behavior Analysis certificate program. The certificate opens a lot of doors in the psychology and education fields; you can apply it toward a Behavior Analyst Board Certification — which is available to those with Bachelors and Masters degrees — and can also apply it to Associates or Bachelors degree programs. I’m interested in it because, with the certificate and an Associates, you can get a job at a school as a paraprofessional (special needs student aid). (Since I already have an A.S., all I need is the ABA certificate.)

I’m starting to realize that I really want to work in education. I have doubts about it, but I think it’s stemming from the fact that I dropped out after half a semester; I think I’m afraid of failing again. Of course, at the moment I can’t afford to pursue my Bachelors, since I’m still paying off my student loans from that half semester. Sigh. However, this certificate program only requires four core courses and an internship, which means that by the time I’m done with this certificate, I’ll probably have paid off my student loan. I can get a job as an aid, and start on my Bachelors degree in Elementary Education (again), but part-time this time.

I think in the long run I want to be a reading specialist¹ — you know, the person who takes the kids who are having trouble with reading one-on-one during the day and helps them strengthen their skills. This requires a Masters degree, which is ironic because I never even wanted to get a Bachelors².

I know I said that I didn’t know what I wanted to do with myself now and that I felt lost, but I can’t stop thinking about being a teacher. Of course, I have plenty of time to think about it some more; I want to be positive that I want to do this, so that I can commit to it fully, so that I won’t run away scared if it’s too hard or if I get hit with a flareup. I was also — at the time — committed to helping my aunt, and wasn’t sure how I should go about things. Although my friend Tammy just told me about a job opening at her company for a marketing manager³, I think I’d rather find a retail job, since it would be more flexible while I’m getting the ABA certificate. However, the program director at NVCC told me that all of the courses will be offered in the evening to accommodate teachers and parents, so I could still take the job. I’m fairly certain that if I applied for it, I’d get it. (My self-esteem has gone back up in the last couple of days; I’ve been working really, really hard at building myself back up. If I wrote about this a couple of days ago, I’d be a lot less optimistic.)

I guess I really want to be sure about everything and have a solid plan set in my mind before I make a move. I’m going to think about that job opening, and I’m also going to think about the ABA certificate. Part of me wonders if I’m being too heavily influenced by what’s going on around me: my mom is back in school for her Masters, my sister is in her second semester at a four-year university, and Mike’s little brother is supposed to have an aid with him at all times but doesn’t, and is suffering for it. I also had a conversation on Christmas Day with Mike’s sister Britt’s boyfriend Tyson’s mom, Debbie. (What a long description! Maybe I should just start calling his family my in-laws, since we’re definitely getting married at some point anyway. I always thought that was silly if you’re not married yet, but I’m starting to think it’s a good idea if you know you will be.) Debbie is a special needs advocate, and has been working in the field for thirty years, I think she said. We were talking to Tracy (Mike’s mom) about Tony and how his PPT* was coming up. Debbie was giving Tracy some advice about Tony’s IEP*. Eventually Debbie and I got to talking about how I’d been going to school for Elementary Education, and how I still do this day think of all the kids — especially the ones who were struggling. Debbie said that she thought I was the type of person who needs to make a difference with my career.

It got me thinking about being a reading specialist. For one, I love reading. I also love working with kids, and I can’t stand the fact that there are so many kids who don’t get the help they need and deserve. I also thought long and hard about what Debbie said, and it’s true. Sure, I was helping businesses get their names out there when I was a web designer and social media marketing consultant, but I wasn’t making much of a difference. It’s true that I am the type of person who feels the need to reach out to others. I get that from my mom.

However, I’m very, very afraid of feeling like I’ve failed at anything right now. I was already afraid of failure before I lost my job. I am going to think about it some more — like I said, I’ve got until the summer — but I did really want to share these things with you guys.

¹I’ve wanted to write about my plans so, so many times, but the fear of changing my mind kept me from doing it. I wanted to be sure before I started talking about it.

²Hell, I didn’t even want to go to college period, because I hated high school and had no idea what I wanted to do.

³My main responsibilities would be marketing the company through social media, which happens to be my specialty. :D It’s also a full-time position, with vacation and a couple of other good benefits.

*PPT (planning and placement team) is a meeting where the parent(s), teachers, and other people involved in the child’s education get together to discuss the child’s IEP — individualized education plan. An IEP usually contains goals for the child that the team tries to accomplish by the end of the year, such as: “Improve child’s speech,” “improve child’s mobility with physical therapy,” “improve child’s reading level,” etc. (See? I learned a lot in that half semester at SCSU. I really, really enjoyed it. I was just so overwhelmed… I wish I’d stuck with it.)

Oh, look, we're going down THIS path again!

Posted on by
2

Confession: I’ve kind of been thinking about going back to school for a while. I’ve been thinking that, if I went back to NVCC — the community college I got my A.S. at — and got a degree in ECE (Early Childhood Education), it wouldn’t take long at all because I’ve already taken all of the regular required classes.

Confession: Things are really not working out working with my aunt. We keep butting heads over projects. She frequently treats me as if I’m not a real web designer, as if I’m some kid interning. She went on vacation for an entire month, leaving me broke. Even if one of the checks we’re owed came in while she’s away, I have no access to it. I don’t even really like web design anymore — at least, not as a career. It’s time for a change. I want to be a writer, but I’m broke now, and need to support myself while I build up that career.

BUT.

There are a lot of cons to going back to school:

  • I’d be back in school again. I’d have to juggle work with school. I’d have a heavy plate — though not as heavy as if I were working on a Bachelor’s like when I was going to Southern.
  • Being a preschool teacher would mean getting up really fucking early. I dealt with it when I was doing my field placement at Southern, but… I dunno. I guess I could suck it up if I wanted it bad enough, but… do I want it bad enough?
  • I’m still paying off about $3,700 in student loans. You know, for the entire half of a semester I went to Southern. It’s insane. I have no idea if I could get the Pell Grant again (free money to go to school), or if I’d have to add to my loan.

I don’t know. I just know that I need to do something different, and that I can’t stand the thought of working a retail job again. I want as stable a career as possible while I work on my writing career, something that I’ll enjoy.

I don’t know. I wish I did know.

I do know that:

  • I want a stable career while working toward my writing career.
  • I’m really sick of the businesswoman world. I am not a businesswoman.
  • I’ve lost interest in web design as a career.
  • I’m broke, and want a stable career that will help me build a life with Mike.
  • I love kids, and I love teaching them.
  • I keep thinking about ECE.
  • Getting a job in the education field is really not hard; teachers are always in demand.
  • Working with my aunt is not really working anymore.

I really need to make up my mind. I mean, it wouldn’t kill me to at least try it, would it?

I wish I could make a decision.

Things I want to do (besides not losing my damn mind)

Posted on by
14

I don’t know if this is necessarily a New Year’s resolution list, but there are a lot of things I want to do. (I should really do that thing where you write each thing on a piece of paper, fold it, put it in a fish bowl or something, and draw from the bowl every day or whenever you have time. I can’t remember whose idea that was, but when I do, I’ll link to the post about it.) Anyway, there are a lot of things I want to do — or at least try:

  • Make my own clothes. I’ve been wanting to try to make something ever since I found out that my Great-Great Aunt Nan has always made her own clothes. She wears these really nice jacket and pencil skirt suits, and at around ninety years old still manages to look impressive and ladylike every day. Now, we all know that I’m the furthest thing from ladylike, but I think it’s pretty kickass to make your own clothes — especially when you can go to a store, find something really cool… and then find someone else wearing the exact same thing. I’ve begun to find my style again, and I think experimenting with a sewing machine could help me find it. Also? I’ve found this really cool DIY blog written by Teresa, who makes all of her own clothes, usually out of stuff she finds at thrift shops. I love leggings, and these leggings she recently made are so cool, I’m going to have to at least try.
  • Edit SADE ON THE WALL. I think I’ve definitely had enough away time. I know that I have tons and tons of notes on what needs to be fixed, and that I can’t wait to whip the first draft of this novel into better shape. I like the story and I like the characters, but I want to make it better. I’m now realizing the full power of editing. It’s kind of intoxicating; when I’m writing, and something doesn’t feel quite right, I now just think, Oh, I’ll fix it when I edit it, instead of, I just can’t go on, and getting stuck and not finishing it.
  • Make cupcake candles. While doing research for “Sade,” I came across this girl on YouTube who melts down candles she buys in bulk to save so that she can make new candles with it later on. She was talking about how she used to use cupcake tins to make the molds, but moved on to bread baking tins when she realized they hold more wax and are easier to store. I thought it would be really cool to make cupcake-shaped candles. I just need to figure out how to “frost” them once they’ve been molded into the bottom part of the cupcake. Any ideas?
  • Set up my writing website. I’ve learned something very important in the last year or so: All writers have websites. They all have writersname.com, or writersnamebooks.com. I’ve been wanting to set up my own writing site for a while now, but since I don’t have any stories or books published, I thought it would be kind of silly. However, now that I’m working on getting something published, I’d really like to set up an online writing portfolio, and maybe a blog, though I think for now my writing resources Tumblr will do.
  • Find another source of income. When you’re a freelance web designer and find yourself broke, you start thinking really hard about ways to supplement your unsteady income. I tried applying to a part-time in-house web and print design job in my area*, but that was over a week ago and I haven’t heard anything from them, so I’m assuming they found someone for the position. I’ve sort of been thinking about offering some inexpensive design services for bloggers, like headers, backgrounds, and other graphics, as well as complete (WordPress) themes**, but at the same time I’m wondering if any kind of second job will end up just stressing me out; at any moment, I could get super busy with the one I already have. I think doing blog design services would work best. What do you think? Would any of you — or anyone you know — be interested in things like that?

That’s all I can think of for now. What are some things you want to do?

*Yeah, that’s what I was being ambiguous about.

**I don’t do Blogger, because that thing is a pain in the ass (or it was the last time I checked). I’ll check it out and see if they’ve revamped their backend.

Clearly I am crazy

Posted on by
8

I cannot even tell you how it felt to be me yesterday. I haven’t felt that anxious and out of control since one of the last times I went to see a new doctor. (I can get so anxious that the smallest things make me cry, like parking or getting lost going to the new doctor’s office.) My aunt and business partner went on vacation almost two weeks ago, and left me in charge of most of our current projects. I figured, no problem, I can handle this. Until everything went wrong — on both her end and mine.

My anxiety was so high, that I didn’t even realize it when I lost it over my jeans not fitting. (Stupid menstrual bloating! I will hunt you down!) Because they are my only jeans that fit, this was a huge deal that spiraled into me being unhappy with everything I put on me, and then when I convinced myself to stop caring, I started picking on my hair, and then almost started picking on my shoes when I mentally shook myself and told myself to STOP. And I did. Later on, I realized that the reason I cried every time I looked in the mirror, looked at my curls, or looked down at my shoes was because I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to hold up my end of the deal during my aunt’s vacation. (If you can call going to Florida and bringing your laptop and working anyway a vacation.)

By midnight last night, my hands were completely tied. I had no internet to upload one of my clients’ sites and was freaking out because I had no idea how I was going to continue to work on projects during the next couple of weeks. (I still have no idea, but lalalalala, I’m not listening.) I started to cry again. I paused, said out loud, “There’s nothing I can do. I can’t let this get to me,” and shut down my laptop. I used the Gmail app on my BlackBerry to email passwords and stuff to my aunt so that she could take care of the hosting end of this project from Florida, and told myself I’d upload the site this evening after work.

I took my favorite blanket and pillow downstairs and watched a Lifetime movie about a woman who helped her husband rape and kill her little sister and several other girls. Naturally, after the movie was over, I was convinced that every sound I heard was someone breaking into the house to come and rape me. Obviously all of these sounds were just the house settling, but then this morning, right before my alarm went off, I was awakened by loud knocking… which I quickly realized was someone hammering something next door.

I kept resetting my alarm over and over so that I could go back to sleep, and by the time I actually got up to get moving, I was running late for work. I don’t know what it is lately, but I have hardly any energy and just can’t get moving in the morning.

It’s a good thing the week is almost over. (I work at my part-time job Monday through Thursday.) Tonight I have to get that website up, and tomorrow night I have softball. Friday morning I have a business meeting with a friend and one of his coworkers who are interested in sending me some web projects; they’re an IT company and have a lot of front-end design projects they might use me for. Saturday and Sunday I am spending relaxing and recharging. I’m probably going to have to start coding another website before the weekend actually gets here, but at least that won’t be so problematic, since we already have hosting set up. I’m still not sure what to do about my internet situation, but I have a couple of other places I can go to with internet. It just sucks because I can’t exactly stay super late at those places.

Who knows, maybe the problem was because of the nasty weather, and since it’s not storming anymore, it might be fixed by now. Hopefully.

Anyway. How is your week going?