Tag Archives: xmas eve

A look back to see forward

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This time last year, I was stressed out. I thought I wasn’t graduating because of my advisor’s bad advising. Just when I thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse, they did a 360 and got better.

When Michael came over for dinner on Christmas Eve and gave me my promise ring, they got even better. I closed the year with a great dinner at Outback and with a positive note.

This year, I don’t know what’s coming or how the story is going to end. Much like last year, I’m scared. But last year’s worries pale in comparison. I’d go back and not graduate, if that meant making this year better.

I’d like to hope that things will turn out okay, just like they did last year. But this year it isn’t as simple as meeting with a Dean of Academic Affairs and reviewing paperwork. This year, a better car won’t make my problems go away. A promise ring won’t fill my heart with warmth. Instead, my heart is heavy and full of dread.

I know I should be more positive, because — as last year proves — things can work out. They can turn around and be BETTER again, in the blink of an eye.

I guess I’ll have to wait and see what Santa brings me.

Promise

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I was nervous. I blowdried and straightened my hair, singing old Evanescence songs to keep my mind busy. I didn’t want to think about whatever my big surprise was. “Gotta relax,” I told myself.

My sister came upstairs and knocked on the bathroom door. “Mikey’s here,” she singsonged.

“‘Kay. I’ll be down in ten minutes.”

It was good to see him. He looked awake and alive. He was wearing a Joker beanie with holes for the eyes and he was just as happy to see me as I was to see him. He sat at the table, so I bent down to kiss him — over and over. I wrapped my arms around him and stood behind him, refusing to let go.

“I should probably let you go, huh?” I said a few minutes later.

“Yeah, you don’t wanna choke me.” He paused. “Can I give you your presents now?”

“Uh — shouldn’t we wait? ‘Til after dinner?” I chewed on my lower lip.

“Can I at least give you one? I’ll give you the smallest.” He reached into a ginormous JCPenney bag and pulled out the latest issue of The Dark Tower: Treachery.

“You got my Stephen King!” I flung my arms around him again and smothered him with kisses. “Thank you!”

I managed to get him to wait until after dinner. He reminded me of a kid on Christmas morning, he was so excited. We went out for a cigarette after dinner and he said he wanted to give me my presents when we got back downstairs.

“I got you three — no, four — things.”

My eyes popped out of my head. “Four? Dammit, I lose! I only got you two!”

“It’s not a contest,” Lauren said when we came back downstairs and I told her about my defeat.

“Yeah, well, he said his present was gonna make me cry, so it kinda is,” I grumbled.

“Can you hand me my bag?” Mike was practically bouncing off the walls. I tried my best to be cool and not explode into a million little pieces as I handed him the large white bag. Continue reading →

The real thing

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Running around on xmas really takes a toll — especially when you’re running on about two hours of sleep.

For xmas eve, Mike came over for dinner. We had all kinds of seafood: scallops, white cod fillet, some other kind of fillet, and of course the requisite pasta. Noni made lasagna for Mike, since he’s allergic to fish. We had tuna sauce, white clam sauce, some other kind of seafood white sauce, and regular sauce for Mike. Dessert was two kinds of cheesecake — the Jell-O kind and homemade baked — and apple pie. I was so full I could only manage a tiny sliver of the homemade cheesecake, and couldn’t even finish that.

Between dinner and dessert we did gifts. I gave Mom and Lauren their embroidery gifts, and Lauren Wall-E and a To Write Love On Her Arms tee shirt. (I had taken Mom to see It’s A Wonderful Life on stage in November as her gift.) Dad really liked the small First Aid kit and thermos set I got him for hunting. Mike liked his gifts, too. Continue reading →