Let’s be real. 2017 was kind of a shit show and it’s a damn miracle I accomplished anything. Between my autoimmune disease and treatment, financial problems, and concerns about my country, I spent a lot of this year upside down. I also decided to go back to school this fall, really sending myself for a spin. It wasn’t a bad year, per se, but it was tumultuous. I grew or whatever.
I also accomplished a lot of things, but let’s start with what I wanted to do in 2017 but didn’t.
I did not get curtains for any of my windows. Turns out, attic apartments have oddly sized windows, and finding curtains with weird measurements is damn near impossible unless you want to drop a lot of money. Since I’d rather have food and electricity, I let the curtains go. I still dream about them, though.
I didn’t get any tattoos, either. I still really want them, but pesky things like bills got in the way.
Nor did I pay off all debt and past due bills. However, we put a lot of effort into catching up—and we’ve been staying on top of most of them. I still have panic attacks in the middle of the night, but less so now.
I also didn’t finish my open series—at least not in the way I thought I would. I realized I’d been “should”ing on myself, and decided to let go of the unrealistic expectations I was holding myself to.
It felt really good.
Mike and I haven’t been going on one date every month, either. Financially, it just isn’t possible. However, we take advantage of every opportunity to spend time together: doctor appointments, errands, Netflix nights… We also usually eat dinner together every night. No matter how tired we are, though, we almost always sleep together*.
I didn’t host a family dinner—at least, not literally. This Thanksgiving, both sides of our family had dinner together. Mike also worked out a deal at work and was able to have dinner with us for the first time in years. Even though our families don’t often spend time together, it went really well.
Finally, I didn’t finish the writing through trauma memoir. It’s still hard for me to talk about certain things, and I realized I’d rather just pour my feelings into fiction. Maybe someday that’ll change. I’m okay with it if it doesn’t, though.
However, I did accomplish some brag-worthy things:
- got my pain down to a 4/10, even if only for a few months
- released a bestselling f/f romance
- ended my first semester of business school with straight “A”s
When I really break it down, it wasn’t a bad year at all.
*Except for when he goes away for conventions. Then I stay awake half the night feeling his absence.